I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this. Is this special needs?
I have struggled with ds1 (now age 11) since he was 18 months. He never grew out of his 'terrible twos' tantrums and they only got worse and worse. His younger brothers are perfectly fine and respond well to my parenting so it's not my parenting like everyone likes to suggest. There is something seriously wrong (different?) with ds1. He has been diagnosed with Anxiety NOS and at a different time with ODD but no one seems to really understand how serious and extreme his behaviours/moods are.
Another mdc mom recognized my son in the book 'Is My Child Bipolar?' I started reading it Thursday and I have been overwhelmed. When I shared some excerpts with my father (MD with extensive experience in psychiatry), he was so amazed he couldn't believe that I hadn't written it myself about ds1. So much fits.
You see, ds1 only ever rages at home and with me (and his little brothers). Never with his father and he's perfect and social at school. My father (the MD) is the only other person who has had glimpses of his irrational, absolute rage storms. But this fits with Bipolar. Ds1 is petrified of his father (abusive) and (perhaps consequently) anxious about authority figures at school.... so he holds it all in until he gets home to me where he feels safe enough to explode.
His father will not consent to further assessments, accusing me of bad parenting and of pathologizing the children. I'm not sure what I CAN do, but I know I have to do something. Poor ds1 is struggling so much - he is so violent and dangerous to me, himself and his brothers. Yet he later begs to know why he's like this and he is so remorseful that he hurts me.
I guess I'm looking for as much good information as I can get my hands on. I know there is controversy about pediatric bipolar, but I'm not so much concerned with getting a diagnosis as I am about finding the best way to treat his severe mood dysregulation (right word?) so that we can begin to treat whatever else is underlying his violent behaviours with effective therapy.
He is only with me 50% of the time unfortunately so there isn't much I can do consistently over the course of a week. But I'll take any suggestions, ideas, insights, btdt stories, etc.
Thanks for listening.