Weekly Chat Feb 17-23 - Page 5 « Back to Group Discussions

[Chapsie]

Good morning everyone!  

So, two days ago, I had a great day with the kids.  I think I even posted that it was the kind of day where "I really like being a mom" or something like that.  I TOTALLY jinxed myself!

DD acted up ALL DAY yesterday.  She's 2.5 and wow... power struggles and yelling and disobedience.  It was exhausting.  She refused to take a nap and all I wanted to do was lay down for a bit.  It was easy to get annoyed with her constantly getting out of bed!  

Of course, the day that I'm having a really hard time is the day that DH planned to have an outing with his friends to get some chicken wings at a local restaurant.  He wasn't going to be home all evening.  

I was in the kitchen making dinner, hoping that DD was finally asleep, when all of a sudden I heard screaming.  My DD is very loud normally, so I assumed it was just the kids fighting.  I eventually went to go check things out and found out that my DD was going through my nightstand and found some "green oil" (it's an asian medicinal oil for muscle aches and whatnot... it's mostly eucalyptus and clove oil... very strong and potent stuff!) and she apparently wanted to "turn her eyes green" (this is what she told me at dinner time) so she dropped the oil directly into her eyeballs!!!  I can't even imagine how painful that was for her!!!  I grabbed my screaming child and threw her in the bathtub with her clothes on and held her under the faucet of running water to rinse her face.  She probably thought I was trying to drown her!  It was awful.  By this time, we were both sobbing and I told her "I need you to listen to mommy.  I want what is best for you.  It hurts me when you get hurt, ok?  I love you!"   Her little voice just said: "Ok, mommy.  I be happy now.  I love you, too."

We had some snuggles later on that night, so hopefully the rift has been repaired.  But my oh my... it was a long day!!!

[nearlyelated]

I've been trying to catch up with these chat threads and finally just decided to jump in to the most recent one, so I'm sorry it I missed anything major!  Excited about babies coming!

Good discussion on EPO and perinatal massage.  I took EPO orally and vaginally last time and still went to 41w5d, so I probably wont bother this time.  At my last group prenatal appointment they discussed massage and how the research was split.  The midwives mentioned that it may be more helpful in FTMs not for the stretching itself, but for the practice of relaxing through the discomfort of having that area stretched, which might lead to more relaxed pushing during the birth.  I might do some, for this reason, since I never got to feel the pushing stage last time and ended up with a C/S too.

Spughy - The gender issue is so bizarre to me too.  My son is only three, and already he's running into stereotypes.  He loves to dance, but has this idea that you need to be wearing a dress of sorts to dance and twirl.  So I made him a tutu, since some of the girls at preschool were wearing them all the time and he was sad that he couldn't dance with them.  He's ridiculously happy wearing it, and twirls like a pro, but he said that some of the other kids were laughing at him.  I hope they're laughing in fun, but it makes me nervous.  

Light forest - I love the idea of the home birth kit for your DD.  I might have to steal that one!

I still haven't heard Gangnam Style all the way through.  The closest I've come is a commercial that Psy was in during the Super Bowl.  So I'm always the one looking confused when people are laughing or groaning.

The 5 love languages thing is neat, I knew before I took it what the results would be.  I'm definitely a words of affirmation girl, with quality time and acts of service close behind.  DP is a physical touch, acts of service kind of guy, I'm curious for him to take the quiz though to see how skewed he is in either of these areas.

AFM - I had my OB consult for my VBAC yesterday, everything looks good, but she said that professionally she would have to recommend a hospital birth with continuous monitoring, and mentioned that if I am one of the 0.5% who ruptures that 5 minutes won't be enough time.  But I've done my research and I live 5 minutes from the regional health centre, and the numbers aren't as clear as 0.5% of women will rupture, since only 6% of that 0.5% are catastrophic (or 0.03% of all VBAC attempts).  It's a risk I've weighed with the risk of going to a hospital and the complications that can accompany continuous monitoring, time limits etc.  But it was a good appointment otherwise.  I was measuring where I should be, which is nice since last week the midwife measured me and got 31 cm (at 34 weeks) and wanted to send me for an u/s, but the OB measured 36 cm yesterday (at 35w2) so I'll likely forgo the u/s if they do end up scheduling it.

[Melany]

Hello!

I am only going to be able to comment on a few, so I apologize for the ones I miss. 

Chapsie: How scary! I hope your daughter is doing better.

nearlyelated: yay for a good appointment, and even with her opinion, it sounds like she respected what you had to say.

Lightforest: It's hard not to get panicky about money with all the other changes going on in our lives right now, isn't it.

AFM: I haven't said anything, but I lost my mucus plug on Wednesday and had contractions all night wed-thur. Strong enough to make hubby stay home from work Thursday morning, but then they stopped and I sent him to the office at 10 and went to work, myself. I had taken today off to nap and last night I had the same all night contraction thing, mostly they kicked into high gear around 1am. They were 4 mins apart, then 8, then 20 and then 30. When they slowed down, I sent DH to get some sleep and was able to make myself sleep around 4, had some more that I could get back to sleep after and woke up with a big one at 6:30. They are currently completely irregular, but this could go on for days or weeks. I didn't call the MW last night because I wanted the close together ones to be there for an hour. At the hour mark, my body switched to the 20 min ones and then when they got further and further apart, I felt it was good to let her sleep. At least someone should get some sleep. I am exhausted. I haven't slept more than an hour here or there since Tuesday. If this is the real thing, I don't know if I will make it on this little sleep. :( I am going to call my MW and ask her if it would be possible for her to come here instead of my driving there. I don't want to be in the car driving myself (hour drive). I asked hubby to take some more time to go with me, but that's not fair, either. Also, the other big hiccup is my son's 9th birthday party is Sunday. I ordered cupcakes from the grocery store instead of my usual homemade ones. At least that part of the party is a big weight off of my shoulders, too.

PS: I made this diaper for my daughter to play with and she's been practicing her diapering skills. I planned to make 2 more, but might not get to it.

http://www.happytogethercreates.com/2011/08/felt-baby-doll-diaper-pattern.html

[wildmansmom]

Originally Posted by buko 

Wow-- what an awesome OB!

I know... maybe it's because he works at a teaching hospital and is a professor of obstetrics so he's up to date on all of the "new" things?

[Melany]

I called my MW and why did it make me cry that it went to voice mail?? I hope the phone situation from Chistmas isn't about to repeat itself.

[cabbitdancer]

Oh, Chapsie! A day like that, for me, would have ended in great, sobbing tears! I am so sorry you had such a rough day! I hope today is better for you both.

nearlyelated, I wanted to try for an HBAC with this pregnancy, but being diagnosed as an insulin dependent diabetic kind of put the kibosh on that. I hope you have an amazing and empowering birth!

Woo, Melany! I would think that the loss of your plug would be a big go sign, though I know it can take time for the body to really get things started. I hope your body lets you get some rest, though, before the big finale!

Lightforest, money issues are no fun, especially when you're trying to gestate in peace. I hope that you guys can find a way to make it all work.

I tried that 5 language profile thing last night and the answer came back as a bit of a duh for me. I'm almost 100% physical touch. I suspect that's what's got me so down about this pregnancy; between the body pillow and my going to bed early, husband coming in late, our snuggle time has greatly diminished, and I think my husband is a little afraid to touch me, at times, because so much on me hurts. I realize that I need to say something to him, though. I wonder if he'd take the quiz... I'm pretty sure he'd wind up with physical touch, as well, but I'm curious, now...

I so desperately wanted a nap, this morning, but my daughter insisted that her stomach upset, this morning, was just too much to bear, so, after calling her in sick to the school and then calling the doctor's office, I got the answer I expected, which is that she's probably constipated and I need to push the liquids and high fiber foods more and make sure she's not holding it. Yay. I did wind up taking her in late, so she only missed about an hour and a half, today, but she's been complaining about a stomach upset almost every morning for the past two weeks. She said something about leukemia, this morning, a topic prompted by a program they've been running at the school (for a little over two weeks, now, no less) called Pennies for Pasta, and a friend put two and two together and said she might be worried that the constipation is a sign that something is seriously wrong with her... here's hoping that getting her more regular helps, because the battle every morning is really wearing me out.

[maydaymom10]

Originally Posted by ann030 

Thanks for the info about mom putting her hand down during crowning Buko, I think it's worth a lot. (I'm having a little trouble figuring out quoting posts on my phone, sorry if this is many posts later!!) I'll talk to my midwives about it at our next appointment. Tearing terrifies me and I've tried some perineal massage and I dunno, it doesn't do it for me.

I had a 3rd degree tear with DS and I can tell you that I didn't feel it when it was happening. It took awhile to heal, but that was also due to location & some artery involvement. But, it did heal fine & I don't have any issues from it (sexual, incontinance, etc). It was a big issue for me when I was interview mw's this time & my current mw & I have a plan to help avoid tearing. It involves birth position (probably hands & knees), passive pushing (letting my body do the work), and also counter pressure. I'm not as freaked out now as I was at the beginning of the pregnancy.

Originally Posted by LightForest 

In more positive news, I had my 38 week appointment this morning and everything is looking great. Baby is ROT but flops around constantly. I'm not going to let myself worry about positioning. I did that with my first pregnancy and it just created a lot of unnecessary stress for me. DH has kindly requested that I wait to go into labor until March 8 so that he can finish the class that he's teaching and turn in grades. This sounds reasonable to me . Hopefully baby will cooperate! I'm not feeling birthy in the slightest at the moment.

When we got home from the appointment, I helped DD to set up a box of her very own homebirth supplies with some items that match those that the midwife will use, plus a diaper, hat, and socks that she will be in charge of putting on the baby. She was very excited to show this off to dad when he got home from work!

My LO is also ROT! She still flops around, but it's clear that she prefers the ROT/ROA position -- little stinker! I've also decided not to stress about it and just go with it for now. Ironically I'm going to a birth circle meeting with some other doulas and midwives next Monday and the topic is optimal positioning. My mw is hosting the discussion, and I asked if she had me in mind when picking the topic... she admitted that I did come to mind.   Maybe I'll get some last minute tricks to help out. In the meantime, I'm hoping my weekly chiro appt will convince this little girl to flip & stay put. Also, we're putting together an activity box for DS for the birth. Maybe not birth supplies, although what a great idea as I fully expect him to want to get in the tub with me if he's awake. Right now I have a big brother t-shirt, a paint with water activity books. I'll get getting some cars & maybe a new train for him too. We'll see what else. I fully envision bringing this little girl into the work with Thomas the Train being rolled along my back and "The Magic Railroad" in the background. Hmmm.

Originally Posted by Melany 

I called my MW and why did it make me cry that it went to voice mail?? I hope the phone situation from Chistmas isn't about to repeat itself.

 Hoping that you got a call back since you've posted this. I would be crying too if I were you. I hope the contractions are giving you a break and you are able to rest a bit as you get ready for the real thing. Hang in there.

AFM - Lots of prelabor stuff going on, but nothing progressive. The period cramps are letting up a bit during the day for me, but are still coming on at night. I did get some decent sleep last night, which was nice. My pubic bone is the main problem right now. I suspect a pubic bone diastasis. I have pinpoint pain on my left pubic bone and just can't handle anything where I have to open my legs. I'm really hoping that it doesn't interfere with birth too much -- it's something I didn't have with DS. I'm going to ask my chiro about it today. Other than that, I'm expecting a quiet weekend and really want to get everything just done. 

[keeptryst]

Originally Posted by nearlyelated 

AFM - I had my OB consult for my VBAC yesterday, everything looks good, but she said that professionally she would have to recommend a hospital birth with continuous monitoring, and mentioned that if I am one of the 0.5% who ruptures that 5 minutes won't be enough time.  But I've done my research and I live 5 minutes from the regional health centre, and the numbers aren't as clear as 0.5% of women will rupture, since only 6% of that 0.5% are catastrophic (or 0.03% of all VBAC attempts).  It's a risk I've weighed with the risk of going to a hospital and the complications that can accompany continuous monitoring, time limits etc.  But it was a good appointment otherwise.  I was measuring where I should be, which is nice since last week the midwife measured me and got 31 cm (at 34 weeks) and wanted to send me for an u/s, but the OB measured 36 cm yesterday (at 35w2) so I'll likely forgo the u/s if they do end up scheduling it.

nearlyelated - I'm in the exact same place as you - talking with my OB to see if she'll be my backup if I decide to have a hbac. The hospital is just 5 mins away for me too, but my OB said she strongly recommended I birth in a hospital, because the OR is right there and they can take immediate action if needed. But I have a huge hankering for a homebirth and have been researching the risk like crazy. Saw the 6% statistic you referred to on the vbacfacts.com site. My mind's going back and forth and my head's buzzing with the dilemma...argh, not a good place to be in. Heart says home and head says hospital. Are you clear on what you're going to do?

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by keeptryst 

nearlyelated - I'm in the exact same place as you - talking with my OB to see if she'll be my backup if I decide to have a hbac. The hospital is just 5 mins away for me too, but my OB said she strongly recommended I birth in a hospital, because the OR is right there and they can take immediate action if needed. But I have a huge hankering for a homebirth and have been researching the risk like crazy. Saw the 6% statistic you referred to on the vbacfacts.com site. My mind's going back and forth and my head's buzzing with the dilemma...argh, not a good place to be in. Heart says home and head says hospital. Are you clear on what you're going to do?

Hey ladies!  

I VBAC'd in hospital with my last birth, but labored at home until I was 9.5 cm!  I had no idea I was that far along.  Everything went great, and we are planning an HBAC with this baby.  Just wanted to send you guys some encouragement on your VBACs!!!  There is so much fear mongering out there.  Just trust and pray and enjoy!

[nearlyelated]

Yeah I'm planning an HBAC.  I was planning a home birth with my last one too, and ended up transferring at 9 cm due to fatigue (mine and the midwives).  But the section was the result of poor positioning, so I'm overly-aware of positioning this time around, have hired a doula and will not consent to having AROM so cavalierly this time (I figure that's what got him stuck posterior).  But I laboured on my own until 7 cm last time, and likely would have done more based on the irregularity of the contractions, but I had an OB consult because I was scheduled to be induced the next day and she checked me, sent me home and called my midwife.

I'm pretty determined to have a home birth, but obviously will transfer if there's a legitimate concern about anything.  I'm lucky that DP is being supportive, I know he wasn't keen on the idea after last time, but he's come around, and I think the doula is easing his mind.

Chapsie, it's nice to hear the positive stories!

Melany, I hope you're getting some sleep, being tired and labouring is no fun, AND I hope you heard back from your midwife.  I can't imagine how stressful that would be.

[Melany]

Originally Posted by maydaymom10 

 Hoping that you got a call back since you've posted this. I would be crying too if I were you. I hope the contractions are giving you a break and you are able to rest a bit as you get ready for the real thing. Hang in there.

She called me back and had just gotten home from another birth that lasted 2 days. So, I feel bad because she had less sleep than me. She's coming to the house at 3PM. 

Finally fell asleep for a nap and my cat decided to vomit on my pillow. She's not impressed with the new food. Of course, she couldn't just hit the pillow case, she got the comforter and sheets. So, now I'm washing all my bedding instead of napping. On the plus side, I did finally get that plastic sheet on the bed for under the sheets, but that really wasn't on the to-do list for today. 

[buko]

Originally Posted by buko 

That's cool, Granola...  Although some were sort of hard to answer the way they were worded, because I might value one thing over the other, but I'm already getting that first thing, so I "wish" he would do the second thing more-- YKWIM?  IDK.  It was also heterosexist (if you're the "wife" you answer questions about your "husband"), but I guess that works for my relationship.

Still interesting!  I'll get DH to take it.  I scored very high on Quality Time and Words of Affirmation, and much lower on everything else.  DH's mom was big on (Giving and) Receiving Gifts, but my guess is DH would score high on the same things I did and/or Physical Touch, but not 100% sure.

So, I got DH to take it and sure enough, his highest was Quality Time, followed by Physical Touch.

I responded to his email with my quote above and:

"I got it right!  Where are my Words of Affirmation!??!?!"

[SlimP]

Originally Posted by Melany 

She called me back and had just gotten home from another birth that lasted 2 days. So, I feel bad because she had less sleep than me. She's coming to the house at 3PM. 

Finally fell asleep for a nap and my cat decided to vomit on my pillow. She's not impressed with the new food. Of course, she couldn't just hit the pillow case, she got the comforter and sheets. So, now I'm washing all my bedding instead of napping. On the plus side, I did finally get that plastic sheet on the bed for under the sheets, but that really wasn't on the to-do list for today. 

Oh Melany, it never rains but it pours! Why are cats such a***oles?? I'm convinced I'll go into labour after a similarly stressful, tiring and annoying couple of days although I'm well rested now. Hope your MW visit is reassuring x

Chapsie, I teared up thinking of you and your DD upset and hurt. I always know I have a bad night/day in store if I've had 1 or 2 good ones. The swings and roundabouts of pregnancy!

Hope everyone's weekend is restful, productive and happy. I'm going out to a gig tonight, probably my last until the summer, very excited

[Melany]

My hypnobirth instructor sent me this link and I thought I would share it. Hypnobirth home birth. 

http://www.mybirth.tv/video-play.cfm?id=180

[scruffy too]

Originally Posted by Melany 

On the plus side, I did finally get that plastic sheet on the bed for under the sheets, but that really wasn't on the to-do list for today. 

I'm glad you heard back from your MW!  A repeat of the Christmas issues wouldn't be very helpful for your stress levels right now!!!!!!  I love that you found the silver lining in the cat puke!!

Thanks for sharing the video link - it was beautiful!!!!!  Exactly what I'm hoping for (despite feeling like my breathing isn't good enough for HypnoBirthing, I hope to remain relaxed and calm.)

Edited by scruffy too - 2/22/13 at 12:20pm

[LightForest]

Originally Posted by Chapsie 

DD acted up ALL DAY yesterday.  She's 2.5 and wow... power struggles and yelling and disobedience.  It was exhausting.  She refused to take a nap and all I wanted to do was lay down for a bit.  It was easy to get annoyed with her constantly getting out of bed!  

Oh Chapsie, I SO KNOW what you're going through with your DD! Mine is also 2.5, and she can also be amazingly difficult. She wouldn't take a nap today either - it took literally two hours of trying to finally get her to lay down long enough to konk out. Of course, she's in my bed and only wearing training pants, so I'm certain she will wet the bed. I wanted to take a nap SO BADLY, but laying down while she's awake risks being kicked, jumped on, or having a little plastic elmo doll thrown at my eye. I finally got a little nap in after she fell asleep and I feel a million times better, though.

Her little voice just said: "Ok, mommy.  I be happy now.  I love you, too."

And YES, my DD does the same exact thing! When she does something that she shouldn't have, and she sees that I'm upset and frustrated with her, she "fixes" the problem by telling me "I'm happy now Mama. It's OK now." It breaks my heart every time!

[sunshinelove]

Writermama--crossing my fingers that all your effort pays off soon!! If nothing else, at least you're having lots of quality time with your DH . I'm lucky to DTD once a week with my DH due to his low sex drive. Yes, i am a little jealous lol

The oatmeal cake recipe spughy posted has now been made and is almost done baking in the oven . I cant wait to see how it turns out!

I've been waking up the last 2 days feeling like i havent slept much even though i've gotten plenty of sleep. What gives?? This is really annoying, i hope it doesnt last for the rest of the pregnancy.

[Melany]

MW stopped by. Baby has moved to OP, which explains the back contractions. Had some zingers while she was here. Should try sleeping between them.

[maydaymom10]

Originally Posted by Melany 

My hypnobirth instructor sent me this link and I thought I would share it. Hypnobirth home birth. 

http://www.mybirth.tv/video-play.cfm?id=180

Thanks for posting this! We're planning on trying the hypnobirthing technique this time (went through the classes), so it was nice to see a video of it in action. Hope I am as relaxed as she was!

[keeptryst]

Originally Posted by nearlyelated 

I'm pretty determined to have a home birth, but obviously will transfer if there's a legitimate concern about anything.  I'm lucky that DP is being supportive, I know he wasn't keen on the idea after last time, but he's come around, and I think the doula is easing his mind.

Chapsie, it's nice to hear the positive stories!

Good for you, nearlyelated! I hope you have a nice smooth birth this time.

Chapsie, loved your birth video you'd posted some time ago, thanks for the inspiration.