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Mothering › Groups › May 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Weekly Chat ~ Feb 18 - Feb 24

Weekly Chat ~ Feb 18 - Feb 24

post #1 of 40
Thread Starter 
A few posts to get us started:
Quote:
Originally Posted by adventuregirl View Post

CBM - So cute!

jaq - ugh! Hope things work out with the house, not feeling like you are at home can really be unsettling on top of all the extra added stress AND being pg! How is dd doing?

My dd was so excited about valentine's day, she woke up early and was dressed and ready to go to school at 5:23am!!! Her alarm normally goes off at 6:00 so we can leave by 7:15. She came in and woke us up, SO excited, I was NOT ready to wake yet, so let her go watch tv, which we never do on a weekday. But she was so funny and cute about it and thrilled with the party at school as well as a field trip to a bakery where they decorated v-day cookies.

Been having lots of BH's here, so trying to be a good little water chugger, think I may have let hydration fall in priority with all my busy-ness at work lately. I have a friend who got put on bedrest for having "mini-contractions" and a short cervix. A little over the top imo, but dh worries when I tell him I am having a BH...gonna have to have the mw reassure him next visit, I'm really not worried.

Hope everyone has good weekends!
Quote:
Originally Posted by timesway View Post

sorry i havent read over everyones posts.. but hope your all ok and have had a wondeful valentines day.

Its been another hard week.. bf was rushed into hosp, he has internal injurys from his bike crash :S so hes been really unwell.. its not as bad as they first feared tho.. thankfully..

its his bday on monday so need to try and get prepared for that.. im so not ready, not quite sure what im doing for it yet.. got some bits of plans but need to put all those plans together now!!  (and hope hes up for them) hes been really down again, but we are taking his daughter out again tommorrow so that will be nice smile.gif

Anyway i am half asleep and bf is due home in  a minute so just a brief update.. but hope your all doin ok  smile.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by timesway View Post

ps. just saw all your lovely supportive messaegs.. thankyou.. i know your all right.. im just terrible at doing anything for myself.. im trying to trick myself by saying im doing it for my baby to do it for me :P and that is what is making me do anything for me what so ever.. but i just get pulled into stuff too easily.. i just hate seeing anyone suffer (because ive sufferred alone so many times it hurts me to imagine anyone else go through it..so i leave myself suffering in order to try and help other peoples.. oh gosh the madness!!)  I appreciate you all saying it tho.. sometimes it just takes a tonne of people saying the same thing for your brain to finally get the message.. Will try my hardest.. this week is gonna be all about bf because of his crash, andhis bday and his daughter.. but after that i will try lots!
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwilightJoy View Post

Times- sorry to hear about your DP! Was it a bicycle or a motorcycle crash? How's he doing?

After a few busy weeks, I am so excited to have a weekend at home!

Wishing you all productive weekends!
post #2 of 40
Thread Starter 
adventuregirl, your DD sounds like she was very cute smile.gif My DD has been having fun eating her Valentine's treats, though she got some suckers which she keeps trying to pronounce "soccer" smile.gif Yeah, I working hard to stay hydrated too, though the million trips to the bathroom are getting old! I haven't been telling DH about my 1-2x a day BH typically, I figure it would just make him worried too as he keeps hearing from a buddy at work who's wife had twins preterm and all the expenses and everything.

timesway, don't worry about catching up with our posts until you have time. I'm so sorry about your boyfriend's accident, I hope he is doing better and that his birthday is pretty good. Glad you are both getting to see his daughter again as it sounds like that was very nice last time! I am the same way with tricking myself to take care of me by saying its for the babies, do what you have to do to convince that jerk-brain!

Twilightjoy, hope you had a good weekend at home, it is nice to have one for sure after a few busy ones.

We went to try and order tile this weekend for our kitchen backsplash, but they didn't have what we wanted in of course. The guy is supposed to be calling his tile rep today and then he will call me with prices and whatnot, so we'll see how that goes. We looked at carpet at the same place too, but DH wasn't super thrilled with the selection, so since he has the day off today (he works for a bank, so he gets all the Federal holidays off), he's going to drive out to the Sherwin-Williams showroom (they aren't open on the weekends) and look. I told him just to pick carpet and then we'll pick colors online, he has picked all the other carpet so I know he'll pick something good and frankly at this point I don't care about the minor difference between nice, soft carpet A, B & C, I just want one so he can take his picky butt and find the one that will make him happy smile.gif

Got all the laundry done, made some yummy banana muffins with DD and got some house cleaning done this weekend. This morning I started going through the larger sized clothes. The 9 month clothes were still decently organized, but everything past that is kind of a mess! It looks like 9 month is the last size I will have a decent amount of gender neutral, going to do a bin of 9/12/18 so I got all the 18 put in there, but I was missing a couple bloomers and one pair of leggings, so hopefully those are in the 2T + whatever bin. I have 3 total pieces of clothing in 18m that are gender neutral smile.gif That's ok though as I know my Mom and siblings will want to buy clothes and I might get some hand-me-downs from my nephews too.
post #3 of 40

Hi everyone!  Sounds like people had nice valentine's days!  We didn't really do anything special unless you consider taking the GD test and getting a massage/adjustment something special.  We did go out and try a new restaurant on Sat. night though that was fantastic.

 

Good news is I passed my GD test so to celebrate when we went out on Sat. I had a foot long grilled cheese sandwich, homemade (um, at the restaurant) potato chips with parmesan, and a tiramisu gelato shake yummy.gif.  I regret nothing.

 

Yesterday was my nephew's 8th birthday.  So hard to believe he's 8 already.  I had just joined the family before his first birthday (we got engaged the night before) and now he's 8 and his little brother is 4.  So weird.  Then I had to babysit last night since normal people get today off.  I ended up with two extra kids who are little terrors.  That was not a fun surprise.

 

Hated my midwife appointment last week when I took the GD test.  I got out of drinking the glucola stuff and got to drink 2 boxes of lemonade but that's where the nice things stopped.  Midwife got judgy about my decision not to breastfeed (I've now decided to combo feed instead cuz I felt so guilty), my hesitance to spend a small fortune on birthing classes that they require to use their birthing center (I'm an anxious person so these things will likely not make me feel prepared but rather scare the ever-living crap out of me) (and seriously, several hundred dollars to learn about something that women have been doing for thousands of years and info I can probably find online?!?), and my weight gain (I've put on 24 lbs in 27 weeks).  Put me in a funk the whole day (which happened to be V-day).  I don't know if she was having an off day or what because she was fine the last time we saw her (we see a different midwife each time since it's a group practice and any one of them could deliver our kiddo) but now I really hope she's not on call when I pop.  I also think she was maybe misinformed because the other midwife we talked to (who happens to own the practice) made it sound like if, for some reason, I couldn't use one of the 2 birthing center rooms (if I give in and get the epi or have other risk factors that rule that option out) that I'd still be able to basically have the same experience; mobility, other pain med options, even a birthing tub.  She made it sound like it was just a geographical change but all the midwife policies applied but this one made it sound like it's either all natural or typical hospital birth.  I cannot be the only person who doesn't necessarily want an epi but doesn't want to go all natural either.  I mean, I'd like to use as few drugs as possible but maybe the tub and breathing and whatnot won't cut it.  I've never done this before so I have no idea how my body will react.  But thanks for the heaping serving of guilt for wanting flexibility and going on a power trip about being the one to make the call as to whether or not I'm worthy of using the birth center rooms.  Argh.

 

I'm kind of a bitchy pregnant lady.

post #4 of 40
Amanda-

Sorry that your midwife didn't treat you as well as she should have. greensad.gif She needs to understand that bf'ing (or not) is your decision and you're going to make the best decision for both you and the baby. No judgement here- just curious, why don't you think it will work out for you? Are you planning on doing a few days for the colostrum or not at all?

Regarding birthing classes- DH and I have decided not to do them either. We're reading books and blogs instead.

Also, I think I'm up more weight than you. And I've always been slender, so it's so weird to see my chubby arms etc in pictures. So I totally relate.
post #5 of 40

Adventuregirl, DD is very clingy, demanding and disobedient right now and this irritates me to no end.  It's all the stress and loss of her friends.  I am trying to be as understanding, compassionate and supportive as possible but it is so hard when I am short tempered and tired.  She is also misbehaving more and more frequently which we will have to be more proactive this week - less talking more follow through.  I know this is a result of all the changes this year, and I am trying desperately to be understanding but she makes it tough sometimes.  I am so tired of her arguing with me!

 

Quinalla, I don't tell DH about my BH's either.  I know he would worry, and he's already worried enough right now.  

 

AmandaLynn, I wouldn't worry too much about that midwife right now.  If you continue to have issues with her, I would talk to the owner of the practice though about a personality conflict - then you know you won't end up with her at the birth.  That will just add more stress to your birth.

 

We did get the rental house!  And now the condo is also up for sale.  All in one stop - that was pretty nice.  Some how we are going to have to get everything moved in on March 16th, but there is not much I can do.  We won't have more then 1-2 days to pack up some stuff beforehand since we have a tenant living there.  I also don't see how I am going to be much help at 32 weeks pregnant when I already am having a lot of BHs and I am very tired probably due to the rheumatoid arthritis flare.  But as DH has pointed out, he will do his best and he and our friends are lining up help as much as possible.  I am trying really hard to try to forget about it and focus on other things since it just makes me more anxious.  That includes figuring out what we need for baby - which is still packed away and I can't access until we actually move.  This is going to be a rushed prep time.  But my mother is coming in the end of March to help unpack and set up.  I am really hoping she actually helps and doesn't sit around waiting for me to do stuff or 'tell her what to do' which is her normal excuse.  If she turns this into a bad visit, she won't be back for the birth of the baby and she is aware of that.  However, it would just make me more miserable then I already am/will be at that time.  She also tends to assume we have money flowing out of our ears (where's the money tree Mom?) and her solutions usually involve throwing money at them which isn't usually my approach because it is wasteful.  She doesn't have a penny to waste, literally, but suggesting things like that to me, so she doesn't have to do the work, seems OK to her.  Infuriating.  

 

The rheumatoid arthritis flare is increasing.  The OB, Rheumatologist and Maternal Fetal Medicine drs are now recommending an additional medication which I guess I am OK with since I knew this might happen.  There are some risks with it, but it is a benefit over risk situation.  If the flare gets too out of control I will end up in am emergency C whether I want it or not, and it will be early and the flare could potentially be harmful to the baby.  I don't want that!  So I started the medication today.  It takes 4-6 weeks before there is any decent relief though.  I spent most of Sunday with painful hands wrapped in heat, dry and moist heat, trying to reduce the inflammation.  It's hard to do anything when I am like this so DH and I have to now consider that my hands may be useless at various unpredictable times.  I am not sure entirely what I can do about it, but we are looking into dragon speaking software so that I can still use the computer on those days.

 

I took the GTT test on Friday and it was the easiest one I have ever taken.  I had to do the 3 hour with DD, but I am fairly confident I won't have to do it this time.  Had a horrible migraine after though from all the sugar.  I've been having lots of them lately I think due to hormone fluctuations.  I am also losing weight, but I am sure this is due to the RA flare - I tend to eat a lot less when I am in pain.

 

So now in about 2 1/2 weeks, DD heads off to visit her father, his family and my family in Louisiana for 3 weeks.  It will be a relief when she is gone, but I will miss her terribly.  The timing couldn't be better.  By the time she gets back, we should be completely moved.  She will start at her new school the week after she returns and she will start her Japanese Saturday school that week too.  Hopefully this will make her a little more stable once she gets into the routine.  Routine, routine, routine is what this kid needs asap.  She has been very good about continuing her schooling at home with me.  At least, mostly no arguments and decent work and learning.  It's much like the homeschooling we did for kindergarten.

 

Hope everyone has a happy and productive week, where ever and what ever you may have to do.

post #6 of 40

Katie, Sorry you are having a hard time finding tile and carpet.  That's a bummer that they don't have what you are looking for!  Hopefully they will get back to you soon with more info!  It sounds like you had a productive weekend!

 

Amanda, That's great that you passed your glucose test and your celebratory meal sounds sooo yummy!  I'm sorry that your midwife was not kind to you.  I saw a practice of 3 midwives with DD1 and I remember there being one that really rubbed me the wrong way.  We chose not to do birthing classes with our first either.  Overall, I felt prepared but I wish I had been more proactive in educating DH.  I thought I would be able to communicate how I needed him to help more than I was really able to during labor.

 

Jacqueline, I am so glad that your house situation is working out!  That is great news!  I am sorry that your daughter is having a hard time right now.  It is so hard for me to be patient and compassionate with my DD when she is being rude too!  Hopefully the time with her father will be a good break and you can get things done.  I am sure it will help to get settled and back into a good routine.  I hope the medication helps your RA and you get some relief soon.  That sounds very difficult to manage with all you have going on right now!hug2.gif

 

Well, we had a good weekend around here.  I don't feel like I got much done but oh well.  Friday we had a family birthday night for the February bdays in DHs family which was fun.  Saturday morning we had someone come into pour a slope the base of the shower for the bathroom (hooray!) Then we had some friends over for dinner, sort of.  They came an hour and a half late so we ate before they came and then had salad with them when they came.  It was sort of odd but just sort of them, on their own time.  A good time though, I really appreciate them as they are just very real people.  They aren't fake and just are who they are.   Sunday was pretty relaxed then church in the evening.  This morning DH went and picked up the tile for our bathroom-yes!  So excited about that.  The bathroom may be a bit delayed as DH is hopefully helping friends move next weekend and we need to go see my grandparents another weekend soon.  My brother went to see them this weekend and said I should plan a trip very soon as grandpa is not doing well at all.  MIL kindly offered to watch the girls for the weekend so that just DH and I can go which would probably be best.  Not having the kids would free us up to be more helpful. 

post #7 of 40

Rawwwwr. I am just down right ornery, short tempered, and hormonal. Not to mention out of energy and back to hungry all the time. I even have to eat when I get up in the middle of the night I'm just accepting that this is going to be a big baby. She is head butting me in the cervix and has her foot in my rib at the same time! How are you doing that!? DH is really annoying me right now too because he seems completely oblivious to any extra help I might want or need. Ugh, men sometimes. And one last complaint...it's suppose to be -35 here tomorrow! Go away winter!!

post #8 of 40

Hey all,

 

Time, I hope your BF is doing ok, and that he has a good Bday with you and his DD.  I hear you on it being hard to just take care of yourself.  This is something I am finally starting to learn since becoming a mom.  Sometimes I have to just step back and not try to be a pleaser, or else I just don't have the energy to be a good mom and wife.

 

Katie, I hope DH finds some good carpet for you!  I know my DH is often the picky one too.  Drives me crazy.  We didn't have curtains in our basement living room for 4 years because he couldn't find a curtain rod (yes, curtain rod) that he liked.  When he finally found one, it was way more $$ than I wanted to spend but I just said to heck with it to get curtains.  I think it's worse because he is an architect, and very design orientated, so he will often have something pictured in his mind in great detail that doesn't actually exist in the real world!  Sounds like things are moving along well for you though.  I am sure that you'll end up with some boy clothes as gifts or hand-me downs, and having a reason to do a little bit of shopping is sometimes fun.

 

Amanda, your meal sounds awesome.  I now want a milk shake.  Thanks. eyesroll.gif  Sorry the midwife you saw was being such a pain in the butt.  I know that the nurses here are often pretty pushy on the BFing, and while I am an advocate of BFing (still nursing my now 30 month old!  Never planned to do that!) it has to be recognized (and health care providers in particular should recoginize) that it isn't right for everyone.  Hopefully you don't have to see that bossy pants McGee again.  We did do a birth prep class, and I'm glad that we did, but it was also about $100 for 5 or 6 classes.  I'm glad we did only because it sort of forced DH to learn some stuff about L&D that he just wouldnt' have otherwise, and it was cool to meet other moms/dads to be.  I definitely wouldn't say it's essential though.  I didn't learn much at all as I'd done a ton of reading, but I know DH did.

 

Jackie, glad that the house worked out! YAY!!!  I hope you get lots of hands to help you make the move go as smoothly as possible.  The only good thing I can think of about having less time to prepare is that hopefully it will give you time to rest/recover from your RA flare rather than feeling like you need to be sorting/washing/setting up baby stuff now.  It would be tough though, I know I've needed to start on some stuff even though this is #2.  DH and I went to Babys R Us on Sunday while DS was out with his auntie/uncle just so I could wander around and look at stuff.  I bought the monitor I wanted but otherwise I felt like I just had to "wrap my head" around it again, kwim?  Maybe you can prepare mentally with lists, etc. so that the actual physical prep is faster/less stressful?  We've also been having a few issues with DS.  Nothing major, but he's been wetting his pants at dayhome and based on knowing him and what his care provider is telling us I am sure it is on purpose.  He's been doing it at home on occasion too, but not as often.  It's a control thing, for sure.  There have been so many changes for him lately, and while we try to give him lots of autonomy at home I don't think he gets it at dayhome.  So peeing his pants is his way of being in control I guess.  So I've started trying to talk to him more about the baby, and how he feels about it.  He's scared for me to have the baby, but excited to be a big brother.  He's also been clingly lately, waking more at night and wanting to nurse/cuddle when he was only nursing twice per day for at least the last year, I think.

 

Co, sounds like you had a nice/busy weekend!  Yay! on the start to the shower!  Sorry to hear your grandfather is doing poorly still.  I hope you are able to have a good visit with it being just you and DH.

 

Baily, sorry you are feeling so off.  I hope it passes.  I had baby jam me  in the cervix, hard, at the grocery store yesterday.  Not fun, and it was only once, so I can only imagine!!  Feel better. hug2.gif

 

Well, back to work tomorrow morning after a four day weekend!  Sigh, it's been so nice, and great to get so much done.  The spare room is finally, totally, organized and all the stuff going to the sally ann has been dropped off.  I went through a ton of baby clothes and have my NB sizes in the drawer, split between gender neutral and blue.  I won't wash it yet.  We also have DS's new bed set up, his bedroom re-arranged with the crib set up, and new bedding for both him and babe.  The rocking chair had to come out because the room is too small for it, but we shuffled furniture aroudn in our room and put it there.  We had some beautiful weather here on Saturday and took DS skating again, he had so much fun.  Also went to a Bday party for our neighbour's little guy today.  All in all, it was a nice, productive weekend and despite how busy it was I actually feel relaxed and rested.

 

Hope everyone else is doing well!

post #9 of 40
Thread Starter 
AmandaLynnH, I already commented in the belly thread, but OMG your midwife, I hope she was just having a bad day because ugh! I did want to say that I felt the same way about drugs going into my first birth, I did as much research as I could about natural birth and felt well prepared, but I also was ok with using drugs if things got too bad for me. I coped fine and labor was so fast I had no time for drugs anyway, but I understand exactly where you are coming from! Also, I did do a birthing class with DH for our first, but I already knew everything in the class, but it was good for DH who hadn't read much and didn't know much about childbirth except what he had seen in movies/TV eyesroll.gif so it was worthwhile for him, but I really didn't care. Also, the stuff they had us practice for him to help me relax in labor (massage, counterpressure, etc.) was useless for me because I didn't want to be touched in labor, but it can be great for a lot of people smile.gif The hospital tour was useful, but that you can do seperately. As for BFing, do what works for you and your family, I really enjoyed BFing and do encourage folks to try if they aren't sure, but if you don't want to, that is ok! Grats on passing the GD test! Also, you aren't a bitchy pregnant lady, you are reacting appropriately!

TwilightJoy, yeah, if DH had been willing to read up, we could have easily skipped the birthing class too. I definitely recommend touring your birthplace though, that is usually free too!

jacquelinej, hooray, so glad you got the place! I'm sorry your rheumatoid arthritis flare is getting worse greensad.gif I'm hope all your friends and family are a big help to you in getting moved/organized!

CoBaby, they were able to order the tile for us, so that's good! DH found some carpet he thinks will work, he didn't get to feel a sample of it though, so we are hoping out remodel dude has a sample or can get one quickly as we like the color selections. Glad you had a good weekend and that your remodel is progressing too!

BaileyB, ugh, sorry your DH isn't getting a clue, mine has actually been pretty great, especially with helping with DD without me asking because my patience is thin. I'm getting tired of winter too, it is just going to get colder today, so the rain is now turning into snow here, bleh!

nstewart, omg lol.gif so hard at your DH story, that is exactly how my DH is with his! Thank goodness he isn't an architect too, I can't even imagine (I work with architects, so I know what you are talking about there too!) He did find a good carpet so that's good. Congrats on all your organization work, wu!

Got through all the 6-9-12 month clothes today, I forgot that size is weird so I ended up just putting them all together. Will definitely need to fill in some gaps in that size too for boy clothes, but at least I have some basics like onesies. 4 day weekend coming up, going to see our families smile.gif

Talked to DH last night about care for DD while I'm in labor, right now his plan is to just watch her himself (at the hospital or whatever) and call my Mom and have her come as soon as she can (she's 5 hours away mind, so likely would not make it in time unless we have a planned induction or C/S). He's ok with that, I'm not sure if I am. I really didn't need him at all last time in labor, but it was still nice to have him there in case I did and obviously nice for him to see the birth, but may he isn't as excited about seeing all that again? I dunno, going to have to talk to him some more. If he's set on it, then I may look at getting a doula for me. He doesn't want to drop DD off with "strangers", personally I think he's being a bit silly about that, she's 3, not a baby anymore. At this point, I'm hoping I go into labor on a weekday so she can just be in daycare as that would make life easy!
Edited by Quinalla - 2/19/13 at 6:08am
post #10 of 40

Hi everyone! I've been scarce - mostly due to not having internet at home (it can take over a MONTH for them to install it here [Germany]) so we finally caved and got a USB stick and are paying for data by the day. This is not cheap, but part of the reason I was feeling so isolated in this move was that I couldn't connect well with any of my people back home, eg via facebook, gchat, email, etc. We still can't do video chat due to data limits, but it's much better than it was.

 

AND the new apartment finally has some furniture, Gott sei dank, so the pregnant lady can sit somewhere other than the floor! hide.gif

 

Anyway, the reason I wanted to pop in for a second is to beg, plead, and implore you all to try this "recipe" I just found for 2-ingredient cookies. I had been mourning the fact that baking here was going to be very difficult (flour and brown sugar are both different, and apparently baking powder and baking soda are also not common? not to mention I was the smartie pants who didn't bring my measuring cups, so I'd have to try to convert all my recipes to metric volume, then to mass on a scale) but these cookies blew me away given how easy and healthy they are.

 

I made mine 5-ingredient, adding a glob of peanut butter (from the Turkish store ... what?), "chocolate chips" (chopped chocolate Easter eggs!) and raisins. I'll make you click over to see what the original 2 ingredients are tiphat.gif

 

http://www.theburlapbag.com/2012/07/2-ingredient-cookies-plus-the-mix-ins-of-your-choice/#

post #11 of 40
Thread Starter 
MarieWalter, glad to hear you have some internet access, I can't imagine how isolated you must have felt without! Glad to hear you have something to sit on now smile.gif Mmm, those cookies look yummy and easy, definitely going to try them, maybe with some raisins and cinnamon or maybe just plain. And I love it as it is an actual 2 ingredient recipe!
post #12 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwilightJoy View Post

Amanda-

Sorry that your midwife didn't treat you as well as she should have. greensad.gif She needs to understand that bf'ing (or not) is your decision and you're going to make the best decision for both you and the baby. No judgement here- just curious, why don't you think it will work out for you? Are you planning on doing a few days for the colostrum or not at all?

Regarding birthing classes- DH and I have decided not to do them either. We're reading books and blogs instead.

Also, I think I'm up more weight than you. And I've always been slender, so it's so weird to see my chubby arms etc in pictures. So I totally relate.

Re breastfeeding:  I have to be back at work in 6-8 weeks and there isn't really a good pumping solution so I knew that EBF wasn't going to happen and it seemed silly to get all the breastfeeding stuff in addition to formula stuff.  That's the pragmatist in my coming out.  Additionally, I grew up in a disordered and abusive home where it was expected of me to cater to my mother's every crazy whim (and not just cater to them, anticipate and fix them before they happened) and, because of that, i have a few emotional scars and being in a situation where I feel like it's all on me (like EBFding) is very emotionally triggering in a really bad way.  It's the same reason I bristle when people get all judgy about what pregnant women eat and shouldn't you just avoid that because of that small chance of X happening, it's only for nine months and isn't the health of your babaaaaaaayyyyy worth it, etc.  That type of experience just reinforces my upbringing where I was always secondary and doing anything for myself was selfish and unacceptable.  So now that I'm pregnant, if I start to feel slightly resentful about some of the crap that comes with being pregnant or wish I could take a break I feel like a horrible person.  I didn't want to start my relationship with my child on negative ground like that and I knew that EBFding would start that cycle because again I'd be restricted in what I can eat/drink and I'd be in it alone as far as feedings and whatnot.  I didn't want to resent my child or husband by being in that position.  While cognitively I can separate that neither is expecting me to treat them like I was/am expected to treat my mother, that doesn't always stop the feelings and subsequent guilt for feeling that way in the first place.  Not to mention what you read about how unpleasant BFding can be, even if you're doing it right.  You read about mothers who suffer through blocked ducts, intense pain, bleeding, etc and grow to dread hearing their children cry because it means pain for them and those are normal people without a dysfunctional parent.  So I had decided to make my life easier and formula feed so as to hopefully sidestep some of the emotional havoc and physical pain and to make life a little easier for myself by allowing DH to be more involved without me.  But, after feeling like I was failing my child that day I decided I'd at least give it a go and combo feed.  I found a reasonably priced electric pump (my insurance only covers a manual) and figured that if I can save us from using 2.5 cans of formula (generic) that the cost would be recouped and he'd get the benefits of some breastmilk if nothing else.  

I was also formula fed and my brother and I were two of the healthiest kids in our classes so sometimes that evidence is anecdotal to me.  

 

See I was happy with my birthcenter birthing class app.  They go over everything that my hospital class seems to and it's free plus I can watch it at my leisure.  But again that didn't seem to satisfy the midwife and she indicated that it was their call if you got to use the birthing center based on how prepared they felt you were.  I wasn't aware there was going to be a quiz or anything sheesh.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Quinalla View Post

AmandaLynnH, I already commented in the belly thread, but OMG your midwife, I hope she was just having a bad day because ugh! I did want to say that I felt the same way about drugs going into my first birth, I did as much research as I could about natural birth and felt well prepared, but I also was ok with using drugs if things got too bad for me. I coped fine and labor was so fast I had no time for drugs anyway, but I understand exactly where you are coming from! Also, I did do a birthing class with DH for our first, but I already knew everything in the class, but it was good for DH who hadn't read much and didn't know much about childbirth except what he had seen in movies/TV eyesroll.gif so it was worthwhile for him, but I really didn't care. Also, the stuff they had us practice for him to help me relax in labor (massage, counterpressure, etc.) was useless for me because I didn't want to be touched in labor, but it can be great for a lot of people smile.gif The hospital tour was useful, but that you can do seperately. As for BFing, do what works for you and your family, I really enjoyed BFing and do encourage folks to try if they aren't sure, but if you don't want to, that is ok! Grats on passing the GD test! Also, you aren't a bitchy pregnant lady, you are reacting appropriately!

Talked to DH last night about care for DD while I'm in labor, right now his plan is to just watch her himself (at the hospital or whatever) and call my Mom and have her come as soon as she can (she's 5 hours away mind, so likely would not make it in time unless we have a planned induction or C/S). He's ok with that, I'm not sure if I am. I really didn't need him at all last time in labor, but it was still nice to have him there in case I did and obviously nice for him to see the birth, but may he isn't as excited about seeing all that again? I dunno, going to have to talk to him some more. If he's set on it, then I may look at getting a doula for me. He doesn't want to drop DD off with "strangers", personally I think he's being a bit silly about that, she's 3, not a baby anymore. At this point, I'm hoping I go into labor on a weekday so she can just be in daycare as that would make life easy!

My birth plan is to get everyone out alive.  As long as that happens I'm happy.  Of course, i'd like to minimize the discomfort for all involved (mostly me) as much as possible, but I'm trying not to hold myself to a set plan since things happen and I don't want to be disappointed if things don't go the way I want them to.  But we were planning on studying up on some stuff.  I just don't necessarily need to hear about all the bad things that can, but probably won't, happen because my brain will shut down and I'll miss the part after where they explain how to deal with them.

 

I can see wanting your DH's full attention when you're in labor.  I wasn't too thrilled about DH wanting to leave me and go let the dog out.  He helped get us into it, he shouldn't just leave me alone!

 

Thanks everyone for the kind words.  These days I never know for sure if I'm overreacting because of hormones or not.  I did register us for the hospital birthing class, which is a bargain at $80 compared to the other ones I researched.  But I'm still gonna grumble when that entire weekend disappears along with said $80.    Which reminds me I need to check with my doctor about if wine is allowed (I know they'll say it is and probably even encourage a glass or two) because I'll probably need some after those classes...and during labor.

post #13 of 40
Thread Starter 
AmandaLynnH, Combo-feeding can be a great compromise, so I hope that works well for you, sounds like that would alleviate a lot of the potential tension since you and DH and whoever you trust could all help feed the baby. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on it, I can definitely understand why you would be hesitant to BF. Pumping while working can definitely be a PITA, let me know if you want any advice/support/etc. there, I did that for DD for 9 months and while it was worth it to me, it was not without headaches and I have about as good of a pumping setup as you could ask for! And I love your birth plan smile.gif I personally think it is good to do a lot of research and go in with an open mind so that you have lots of tools and that you hopefully limit disappointment if things don't go how you imagined (they won't 100% anyway!) As for restrictions on eating/drinking during BFing, there really aren't any, just don't get so drunk you can't hold your baby basically. Some babies end up with sensitivities to proteins passed through from foods you eat, but the vast majority do not. There are some drug restrictions, but most of those are way overblown by nervous doctors too.

For the hospital class, can you talk to the instructor ahead of time about your concerns with getting too fearful/stressed about complication discussion? Maybe she/he can give you a heads up so you can leave for that portion (usually it's all covered in one chunk) and you DH come get you when it is over? Glad you found a cheap class, that sounds like about what I paid for DH & I for DD's class.

And seriously, can I just say again that midwife just sounds like a trip! Aren't birthing center rooms going to be first-come, first-served regardless? Being prepared is good, but if it is like all the other hospital birthing classes, yeah you can learn it all from a book except for hospital-specific protocols which she should be telling you anyway.

As for DH, yeah I don't need 100% attention, but I might want occasional support especially with twins (I'd rather he hold Baby A while Baby B is born, that sort of thing) and I don't want him to miss out on the birth experience, but maybe he's not that into it. I think everything about birth is cool, even the "gross" stuff, I don't think he shares that and maybe this is his way of getting out of it. Or maybe he doesn't like seeing me in pain and not being able to do a darn thing. I dunno, but I gotta talk to him some more. Getting him to articulate his emotions for stuff like this can be very hard!
post #14 of 40

Amanda, thanks for sharing!  I can certainly understand how EBFing could have some triggers for you.  Hopefully a combo works out for you, and if not you can always go to just formula if that feels right for you at the time.  I think that's one of the most important things to learn when you're a new parent.  Be flexible, and if something doesn't work, change it.

 

Many women do have discomforts while BFing, for sure, but not all.  I was one of those lucky b*tches who never had any discomfort (besides a bit of engorgement) even at the beginning.  And when my milk let down, it felt like a happy drug rush for me.  Literally, like how it must feel for needle drug users when someone takes that rubber band thing off their arm and they get a hit of whatever.  That's how strong and good it was, I would instantly relax, sigh, my eyes would roll back...  I hope I get that again!  love.gif

 

Katie, I hope you get some answers from DH.  Maybe he's just worried about DD, and how she'll take mama being in labour, having two new babes to help, etc?  It's too bad that your mom is so far away, that seems like a good solution.  There aren't any close friends who could take DD until your mom arrives if you go into labour on the weekend or in the evening?  Or anyone who could come to your house?

 

 Last time I didn't want DH to look at me, talk to me, or touch me until I was pushing.  He essentially sat in the room catching up on FB and eating snacks while I went through transition.  lol.  I hope I don't feel the same way this time, I'd like him to be more involved earlier on, although apparently he actually held one of my legs while I pushed.  I didn't remember this at all, even in the few hours following delivery. I must have been pretty out of it. lol.

 

Marie, awesome that you have internet again!  I hope your actual "internet" is hooked up soon!  I am really surprised that baking goods are so hard to come by in Germany of all places!  Aren't they known for their cakes and pasteries?  My SIL is from Luxembourg (very German/French) and is really into baking.  I will ask her where you get baking supplies (what kind of stores) and about the baking powder/baking soda, etc. for you.  You should be able to find tons of chocolate (maybe not chips!) but ya, I can see PB being a challenge!  I know when DH lived in Barcelona if anyone came to visit him or his classmates from N.A. they were instructed to fill their suitcases with Peanut Butter and Ketchup. lol.

post #15 of 40

Marie I had to transition my baking skills in the opposite direction. My advice is to ditch the American recipes and find some good local ones. I've had to give up most of my old recipes as they just don't work as well with American ingredients. Also you'll probably find self-raising flour used more commonly for cakes and cookies which is why you don't need the baking powder/soda (its already in SR flour)

 

AmandaLynn I didn't take any childbirth classes first time around, and really regretted it. With DS2 we did at study at home birth skills package called The Pink Kit. It really helped both of us be prepared for whatever happened (it isn't just about natural birth) and I recommend it to everyone. My second birth was so much easier knowing I had a range of skills I could use to help myself, and that DH had been learning with me.

 

When I'm laboring the only person I want around is DH, and he is really good at supporting me. He was surprised at how little the gross stuff got to him, as he was just so in awe of seeing this new little person emerge. I do think that going through The Pink Kit together really helped prepare him for labor as much as it did for me.

 

Its DH & FIL's birthday tomorrow. This year FIL is 70 so we are going over to visit this weekend for a big family gathering to celebrate. Visiting my in-laws is always a nightmare because none of the relatives over there have children so none of the homes are toddler friendly, and there are never any concessions made for our toddlers, plus the fact that none of them ever have any real food, so we also have to preplan how we are going to keep us all fed. They don't seem to get that toddlers and pregnant women need more than bar snacks to eat. I really wish we didn't have to go, but we cancelled at Christmas due to DS1 being ill, so we really need to go this time.

post #16 of 40

Marie, I am SO making those cookies! I have been craving sweets like crazy lately and those I can feel good about.

 

We are taking a birth class later in March. My mw offers one as a part of her services, so it is no extra cost. I mostly want to do it for DH as this is his first time and he is not interested in reading anything, and when I talk about it he will often either get sqeamish or lose interest, although I did get him to watch "The Business of Being Born". But I am also excited for the class to possibly meet other families locally as well as get a refresher on some things for myself. It also gives me the opportunity to get more time with my mw, who I like a lot, and hear more from her vast experience.

 

Work is still keeping me very busy, but I wanted to pop in and do a quick catch up. Starting to get some CDs which is making me feel more prepared. Getting ready for vacation in a few weeks and am super excited about that break.

 

Sounds like everyone is busy, busy and making plans for babies, how fun!

post #17 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by adventuregirl View Post

I have been craving sweets like crazy lately and those I can feel good about.

 

 

I recommend these HIGHLY: http://thekindlife.com/blog/post/chocolate-peanut-butter-cups

 

I always have them in my freezer now for when that devious sugar craving strikes  :)

post #18 of 40

Thanks for the feedback and understanding.  I really do think that MW was just having an off day.  She was very pleasant on her message regarding my tests yesterday so I'll give her another shot but I still hope I get one other MW when it's time as she's awesome!

 

Today, apparently I am playing the part of a bottomless pit, consuming anything and everything (and I mean everything, I got desperate enough to eat the crappy chalky string cheese in my work fridge) in my path.  

 

Worked on our grocery list and duplicating our registry as much as possible on both Target and Amazon.  Apparently DH's random great aunts are throwing me a shower (well, my SIL and Aunt-in-law are organizing it but it's for that side) and, as most of them are older, we figured our amazon registry wouldn't get much use so I added duplicate items to the Target registry so they could just go to the store.  Should be a fairly awkward event if my bridal shower was any indication.  DH doesn't really like that side of the family and doesn't really remember/know these particular relatives and they're making it way fancier than it needs to be (who thought finger sandwiches were a good idea around a preggo?  Is it just so she doesn't feel terrible eating about 100 of them?).  But at least my SIL agreed to let me do dessert so I don't feel so guilty.  I think I'm going to do blue velvet cupcakes, raspberry divinity tarts (a meringue tart with raspberries and chocolate, possibly dying the meringue blue), and angel lush cupcakes.  My SIL is gluten free and a lot of that crowd should be watching their sugar intake so I think that'll cover pretty much everyone's dietary needs without being overwhelming to me.  

 

I cannot decide if pinterest+nesting is the best idea ever or the worst idea ever...

post #19 of 40
Thank you so much for sharing, Amanda. I totally understand why you're making those decisions. You're going to be a great mama.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quinalla View Post

AmandaLynnH, Combo-feeding can be a great compromise, so I hope that works well for you, sounds like that would alleviate a lot of the potential tension since you and DH and whoever you trust could all help feed the baby.

yeahthat.gif
post #20 of 40

Marie, Those cookies look like a good idea!  I'll have to give those a shot.  I'm glad you got some connection- That would be really hard to feel so isolated.

 

Katie, Did you talk to your DH anymore about who is watching your DD in labor?  I think I would have a hard time not having Dh available and if you do end up with a c/s (Hopefully not!)  I think you would want him with you especially!  Just my two cents.

 

Lyn, I hope your family weekend goes well! 

 

Amanda, I agree, it sounds like combo feeding would be a good thing to try.  Each baby is different and things might go really smoothly.  DD2 latched right on and we never had any issues!

Is blue velvet the same as red velvet but just with blue coloring?

 

Quote:
I cannot decide if pinterest+nesting is the best idea ever or the worst idea ever...

Haha!  That made me laugh.  I agree, sooo many great ideas, so little energy.

 

Whew, what a day!  I had an OB appt. this morning.  They are usually very punctual but this morning I didn't see the doc until an hour after my appt time and I had the kids with me.   Baby and I are doing well and measuring right on track.  Decker kicked about 5 times when they checked his heart beat, he's healthy!   Then we ran to the store and brought lunch to share with DH at his office.  Right as we got there someone from the school across the street asked if he would come donate blood so we were there longer than I planned.  ( I had to laugh when DH told me the person who took his blood was the guy I had a crush on in the 6th grade!)  Then home briefly and back out to take my aunt to the store which was fine but takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r.   I truly am glad we can help but she can't process how to plan what to get based on where things are (and I can't decipher her list)  so there is a lot of back and forth across the store.  The girls love to see what she'll have us get next and carry it to her and I guess it gets me some exercise!

 

Our insurance company has a pregnancy nurse line that checks in at a few times throughout pregnancy and after birth.  Yesterday  I got a letter saying I needed to call for my mid-way check in.  I wasn't going to but then I noticed a line saying that if I complete all the calls I get a $100 gift card.  They only take a few minutes so that is pretty cool!  I don't know where the gift card is for but I'll take $100! Yay!

 

All my shirts are getting too short already!  Is anyone else having this problem?  I don't want to buy new shirts so I might just do belly bands.  Does anyone have any other great solutions?  I love dresses but it's still cold here and my leggings are too small now.  All day i kept laughing at myself as I pulled my shirt down only to expose my boobs.  So then I'd pull it up to expose my belly.

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