Edited by fedupwithdrama - 2/18/13 at 2:00pm
If he wants a dna test, the court will probably demand it and hold you in contempt if you try to get out of it. You could in turn ask for a drug test but it probably won't mean much. It sucks but that's how it works. The baby is half his, he has rights.
On the plus side, if he gets court ordered visitation you can keep track of how often he doesn't show up and that will look very bad on him. As will missed support payments.
Yup. Well at least in the US, I'm not in Canada so I don't know. But I have a friend who is a guy and has a daughter, is on the birth certificate and everything. Well come to find out she might not be his, the girls ex boyfriend wants a dna test and its looking like the kid belongs to this other guy so my friend is losing the daughter he raised from birth.
I would not recommend running from a court order, that looks very bad on the mom and makes it more likely that he'll get more custody.
First, there really isn't much to put your kiddo through. Baby doesn't have to go to court.
Secondly, start documenting how often he sees the child. Go back in your memory as much as you can, and now start keeping a record.
Thirdly, speak to an attorney. I would think that if not on the birth certificate, that you do not have to let him see the kid until he gets a court order. That would be hardball though.
Please remember that threatening to go to court is not the same as actually filing. You can't refuse the dna test, really. Courts will not consider him to be an unfit father just because he's a loser. If he has a criminal record, your lawyer should be able to advise you if it is relevant to the proceedings, and if it can sway the court to order a drug test. The drug test might not keep him from seeing her, but it might lessen the amount of visitation he can get.
Surely there are witnesses to how little he has seen your toddler thus far. Get on the waiting list for Legal Aid- surely they have something similar in Canada.