What sounds like the closest description to your house?
Right now, I consider our house to be child-centered.
If you feel in-between-y, why did you choose the description you did? What kept you from identifying with another term?
I didn't vote, because I consider that being child-centered is temporary, and we move more and more towards "adult-centered" as the kids grow older. (The term parent-centered still implies that you identify yourself as a parent first.)
For example, when the kids were babies and toddlers, me and dh didn't even sleep in the same bed, so we can all get some rest and the kids can nurse through the night. We took turns staying home with them; this meant one of us not working, or working opposite shifts, so we practically didn't see each other the whole week.
Now we claimed our bed back as dd is getting closer to weaning. She just started daycare this week and we can move on with our careers.
Our week-ends are very busy now driving ds to his activities, but again, this is temporary too.
In a couple of years, I want to send them spend their summer vacation with their grandparents, so me and dh can have a couple of months just for ourselves :)
Would other people describe your house the same way? (For example, you might consider yourself "family-centered", whereas your zero-rules friend might see it as "parent centered".)
I think other people would describe us as child-centered as well.
What are the good things you like about doing it this way?
I like that I get to fully enjoy my kids' babyhood and childhood and be there every step of the way. My biggest satisfaction is that I have no regrets looking back.
What are the drawbacks?
I can't see any drawbacks, other than being tired sometimes, but I guess that as a parent, it's part of the job description, regardless if you are child-centered or not.
If you attribute problems to your lifestyle, how do you deal with the negative aspects?
We don't really have any serious problems. The kids are misbehaving sometimes, and we are losing our cool, but we are all human beings and at the end of the day if we can say I'm sorry and strive to do better, all's good.
Do you have any regrets?
I think I answered this question, see above :)
Why did you start living this way? Philosophy? Personality? Response to immediate needs? Rebelling against how your parents did it?
As a response to immediate needs first, and personality second. When I had my ds I had no clue how to care for a baby and luckily no family around to influence me, so I did what was instinctive.
Is this different from how you grew up?
Very different. I had an absentee father and a mom who was mostly unstable. They were very permissive, bordering on neglectful.
Do you have a friend who lives the "opposite" way, and if so, does it grate? Or are you OK with it as long as it isn't *your* house?
I don't know anyone who does things completely the opposite way, but I have friends and family who do things differently. Sometimes I watch and learn from them, sometimes (if I don't agree) I mention how we do things, but if the kids seem happy and the parents have their best interest at heart, this is all that matters.
Do you consider your children to be flexible when they visit households with different expectations?
You mean discipline-wise? No, I don't, and I'm not flexible either. No one interferes in the way I parent (except dh, of course).
Do you know how other people view your children?
Yes, I never hear but positive things especially about ds who has more independent interactions with people. His teachers, instructors, neighbours, grandparents, girls at school :) they are all appreciative of him.