What sounds like the closest description to your house? like others said today it is family centered. but when dd was younger of course it was child centered.
If you feel in-between-y, why did you choose the description you did? What kept you from identifying with another term?
however for us family centered means sometimes child centered, sometimes mommy centered (single parent here). as dd has grown i have gotten more of my needs met. but now that dd is hitting puberty i find it is kinda going back more towards child centered than mommy centered. esp. when she is having a hard day. i feel in our house we switch roles. somedays dd is the child and i am the mother. other times its me who is beign taken cared of when i am exhausted. both of us having hormone issues - mine menopause and dd puberty - has made us empathise each others situation. we both cant seem to help being a b**** sometimes. now that dd is going through the emotional aspect of puberty she understands how i feel sometimes too.
Would other people describe your house the same way? (For example, you might consider yourself "family-centered", whereas your zero-rules friend might see it as "parent centered".)
AH. most people think i do way too much child centered. that i spoil dd too much. my house should be a parent centered house.
What are the good things you like about doing it this way?
dunno about good or bad. switching between parent centered and child centered keeps harmony, peace and love in our house.
What are the drawbacks?
If you attribute problems to your lifestyle, how do you deal with the negative aspects?
no problems because our lifestyle evolved. i never thought of ok from tomorrow on it will be a family centered household. what really happened was that being a single mom i could not handle not getting my time.
Do you have any regrets?
nope!!! though i wont really have them till dd is an adult and tells me of what her experience of childhood was, and how different it is from my memory.
Why did you start living this way? Philosophy? Personality? Response to immediate needs? Rebelling against how your parents did it?
it really began with response to immediate need. dd was high needs and she taught me how to be her mother. i wanted to be her mother, not a mother. i have always loved children. i am fascinated with dd and i always try to write an instructions manual. just my curiosity towards this squirmy thing is what made me parent the way i do. plus as an anthropology student and seeing child rearing all around teh world it is so important to have a family centered hh.
Is this different from how you grew up?
yes. mainly parent centered in my house but not in a v. drastic way. parents had last say, but they did try to be family centered.
Do you have a friend who lives the "opposite" way, and if so, does it grate? Or are you OK with it as long as it isn't *your* house?
ugh. it GRATES. coz its dd's dad's place. and it does a number on her when it isnt family centered.
Do you consider your children to be flexible when they visit households with different expectations?
yes absolutely. in fact dd has known since a toddler that every house has their own rules.
Do you know how other people view your children?
yes i do. some think she is the cat's miaow. some think she is way too opinionated and should behave like a child. overall they do think she is well mannered and very respectful. and yes i do think living in two different households has definitely helped being able to stay open to others points of view.