Grandparents Ignoring Child's Gluten Intolerance

[nettlesoup]

We're having some issues with my in-laws. My daughter is sensitive to gluten and gets mouth ulcers and messy bowel movements when she eats it. Unfortunately we can't get an answer from a doctor here as they can only test for Coeliacs, so I have no proof aside from her symptoms.

We have told her grandparents countless times that she can't eat gluten, and have mentioned taking her to the doctors as well as her symptoms, but it makes no difference. We have even kept her away for a week, which worked for about a week and then they went back to their usual defiant selves. They are giving her cake every week and then lying to us about it and telling her not to tell us. Every time we bring it up, her Granny goes defensive and starts a huge argument over the whole thing as if we are the ones being unfair. I honestly think she mustn't believe in gluten intolerance or that we're just making it up to control what she eats.

But we are at the stage where there is nothing we can do to get them to stop. We can't keep her away either, because despite this, they are really good to us and help us out a lot. They are also the only people she can stay with for the afternoon. So of course we don't want to stop her seeing them, but I don't know what else to do.

Can anyone give me a link to an article or anything to explain why you shouldn't give gluten to a gluten intolerant child? The only thing I can think of to do now is post articles on Facebook about why they shouldn't do it, but I can't find anything of any use. So any help would be much appreciated; the whole thing is driving us mad and leaving us feeling completely powerless over our own daughter.

[scsigrl]

People who don't take my childs medical necessities seriously don't have access to my child.  Period.

My inlaws have a dog they kept when my SIL moved out. My DS has asthma and pet allergies. They kept the dog, we don't go over there. They are welcome here whenever they want but we will not compromise my sons health for their amusement.

[Rhosyncon]

Coeliac UK have an article called What is gluten sensitivity? and Dietary Specials have a section of their website devoted to gluten sensitivity.  I think you might find that your in-laws either don't have any idea what harm they are doing to your daughter and that a 'like treat won't hurt'.  You may need to educate them that it's not the cake that you don't want her eating, but the flour it is made from makes her ill.  You may have to pull the old "the doctor said she isn't to eat it" card and give them some 'safe' cakes or biscuits for her to eat or even a packed lunch.  In the long run though if they can't accept that giving her gluten is hurting her you may need to look for alternative child care in order to protect her health and well being.

I can symperthise with how rotten you daughter must feel after being fed gluten.  I was 24 when I started reacting to wholewheat (and it was only wholewheat at the time) and 26 when I realised I was reacting to all wheat products.  Now 3 years on if I eat wheat I get stomach cramps, bloating and messy bowel movements for days after wards.  If your daughter is old enough, tell her that some things will give her a poorly tummy.  If you buy gluten free biscuits and cakes for her when she is home, teach her how to recognise that they are safe to eat - e.g. look for the crossed grain symbol on packaging. By the age of 2 to 3 most children will recognise symbols and what they mean (think about walking down the high street - children can recognise and identify shops and restaurants by there logos).  Once you daughter is in school full time you are going to have less control on what she eats; so giving her the knowledge of what is safe and what isn't will be vital then. even if she takes a packed lunch to school you can't be sure that she wouldn't swap it with someone else's as I have seen children do this on a number of occasions.
 

Dietary Specials has linked your post to their Facebook page and a number of people have commented on it.