I could use some ideas for helping my 5 y.o. learn more respectful behavior with other adults.
How do you help your young children learn to respect adults without conveying a message that the adult is always right?
Perhaps my own fears are getting in the way, but I feel uncomfortable telling my daughter, "You need to listen to what other adults are telling you to do and do it." I guess I don't want to make a global statement like that because there may be a day when she really shouldn't do what someone tells her to do, just because they are the adult.
On the other hand, I really would like for her to learn healthy respect and boundaries around other adults.
Our babysitter was very frustrated today after another day of my older DD refusing to do as she is asked. Our sitter is young, so some of it might be my DD feeling a lack of confidence on the sitter's part. But I really want to find a way to help her learn to be respectful and considerate of adults.
I really feel like she doesn't have this yet. She does with some adults, but not most.
She isn't outright rude. She just won't stop doing something when asked, or do something when told. She also likes to be silly. She might call an adult a silly name or do something silly with them. Yesterday it was tying strings around the feet of guests who were over at our house. Today it was putting stickers on the back of the nurse at an appointment.
I have let her know my expectations. I let her know she must stop, I will physically and gently guide her if needed. She is just at that early age where direct confrontation about these things just often doesn't help.
I've found using stories helpful in some other similar situations. I also really try to see what the unmet need is behind the behavior. But these are more background things. What about when I'm not there or really can't redirect her or remove her from the situation?
I need some ideas. Especially ideas to share with the sitter. I'm finding my own way through this much of the time when I'm with her in person. But it is different when I'm not there and she is doing this with others. How do I help her learn these values so that she will cary them out when I'm not around?
The only thing that will sometimes work is a threat or reward (she will get something or not get something if she hasn't behaved while I'm away). But that very quickly just becomes a game for her and she will want to know what she is going to get if she is "good". It becomes too external and I feel she isn't really making the inner shift that is needed.
Sometimes I wish that she was just a shy girl who was too afraid to act out with anyone other than her parents. But I only with that because it would make life easier for me, not because it would be good for her. I'm proud that she is confident and strong. It will serve her well later in life. I just need help in how to help her navigate these situations in an appropriate way so she can learn how to handle her strength.
Any ideas? Thanks!