My newly 5-year-old DD has recently started namecalling and being rude to me, DH, and her brother. I am pretty sure she picked it up at preschool (we don't namecall at home), and I'm not sure how to handle it. I've told her not to do it, but that hasn't cut out the behavior. Threats will often stop the behavior temporarily, but I really don't like to use them because I feel like they have the potential to be damaging to our relationship and don't really get to the root of the problem.
She will typically do it when frustrated or when she is not getting her way. DS is picking up on a lot of it now as well and mimicing her. The names themselves are mild, like "You Bad!" or "Stinky!" or "You Silly Bad Boy!" said in a mean way but clearly namecalling. Sometimes she whispers the names because she knows she isn't supposed to namecall. She has also started to pretend to shoot us with a gun in lieu of the namecalling. She will say "I don't care!" in a mocking voice when we tell her things. She also whines "It's not fair!" many times a day. Sometimes if we talk to her or asks her a question she ignores us. The other day she told me she was going to get bad guys to shoot me with a gun and kill me and that kind of seemed like she even shocked herself and backed down and said she was only kidding.
I don't really have an issue with these things done in a playful way, but the way she is presenting these things is not playful, and not really in an angry/outburst kind of way either (although she has plenty of those moments, too). Just rude/attitude.
She has never been an easy/obedient child (and at 5 still has multiple tantrums/meltdowns a day and is still hitting sometimes) but this rudeness is new and I would appreciate some GD ways to handle it.