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Mothering › Groups › September 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › "I'm already screwing up the baby!"

"I'm already screwing up the baby!"

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

Yep.  I said it last night.  It was triggered by DH and I getting into a stupid fight about nothing, and me getting all worked up and thinking, "WTH am I even doing?  If we can't even get along, what business do we have making a baby!?!"  And then I thought about saying to DH, "It's not too late for a miscarriage?!?!  Maybe that would be best!"  I didn't say that out loud, but thinking those things made me even MORE upset, because I was sure the baby could feel those thoughts, and what if I DID have a miscarriage, because my baby thought it was unwanted??  Plus I know I'm supposed to be staying calm and peaceful as much as possible, but that is just not happening as well as I would like, and I was clearly VERY worked up already.  Then add in that I haven't been eating perfectly, because everything seems gross, and what I can stomach is not always the best choice.  So, I bawled my eyes out last night, because:

1.  I am stunting my baby intellectually by being so stressed out and worked up.

2.  I am causing my baby to develop diabetes by not eating whole grains, fruits, and veggies exclusively.

3.  My baby thinks I don't want it, and if I do have a miscarriage it will be my fault, and if I don't, the baby still knows I though that.

 

Hello.  My name is Mattie, and I have officially gone insane.

 

Please tell me I'm not alone!

post #2 of 4
You're definitely not alone! DP and I have been through four pregnancies together (one ectopic, then DS, then a MC, and now someone new), and he swears he suspects I'm pregnant before we get a positive test because we have the most awful fights! I like to think it's all his fault, of course, but he's probably right that my hormones make me a crazy person.

As for food, it's like a runaway train. I'm actually not doing too terribly this time, thank goodness, but you've gotta eat what you've gotta eat. I'm not proud of my history of pregnant eating, let me tell ya!
post #3 of 4

I agree with Jennyanydots. At this point I think arguments are common. We never usually argue, but thanks to my sudden lack of patience we have had a few arguments. And also, on the food front don't worry about it. I ate so well until I got pregnant, then it all went out the window and I'm eating the worst things! It will pass and hopefully you'll end up feeling great once the morning sickness has passed.

post #4 of 4

mattie426: you are definitely not alone...over the past 9 weeks, at times i have been a total stress monkey, basket case & have consumed less veggies than i do when not pregnant. i have managed to have at least 2 major blow outs with my DH (& we live 2000 km away from each other at the moment) and i have considered terminating my pregnancy. 

 

i want to agree with nettle & point out that right now we are full of hormones & hopefully the food aversions, ms, & emotional roller coaster feelings will pass. feeling guilty does not help...don't beat yourself up!  take time for yourself...practice selfcare: relax, read a book, meditate, have a bubble bath, do something to nourish your mind, body & your baby. 

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