Been a long time since I've been here on mothering. I am hopeful some of you mamas have some ideas for me.
Long story short: my ex-husband is a classic narcissist and he lives to feel like he still has control over me and the kids. He also must show me at all times that I do not have any control over what happens when he has the kids.
He is bipolar, unstable, and can be quite scary. He is also charming and extremely manipulative and has no qualms about lieing to get what he wants. He wasn't like this when I married him but slowly became a monster over the years. When he left, I was a stay at home mom of ten years, homeschooling my two boys, 8 and 6.
He stole my retirement, filed for divorce, got a shark of a lawyer and actually tried to get a 50 50 split with the kids. The kids who he almost never saw because he was out partying every night. He just made up his own reality about being an involved dad etc. He moved in with his girlfriend almost immediately upon leaving me. Snce he left, he has made my hell. He absolutely is mean and horrible to me every chance he gets. He tells the kids I am unorganized and my home is dirty. He is completely horrible to me. He is very clear that he hates me and that he wishes i would just go away. Meanwhile, I have managed to grow a lucrative career, keep my house and find a good school for my kids.
He sees them every other weekend and one overnight a week.
For the second time this year he has had them for a week vacation, and for the second time he has refused me access and not let me talk to them for the week they were gone with him. Right now i know they are out of town but I don't know where and he has not allowed me to talk to them on the hpone. He has had his phone turned off for two days now. He says I can go to hell and that he wants them without me in th picture and I don't need to talk to them.
Last time I got my lawyer involved and it did nothing. He just laughed at the lawyers letter.
I really don't know what to do. Do I tell my 10 and 8 yearn old that he wouldn't let me talk to them. Should I justnbuy them a phone? I'm not sure he won't take that away. Using a lawyer seems like a waste of money. I just feel stuck and at the whim of this horrible sick man.
Thanks for reading,