I think I do need to pay more attention to that, Miranda. That's something I need to observe in myself-- trying to see myself through their eyes. I have been vocally baffled, and dd1 at least "tries" really hard, and I need to show a bit more confidence in her. Hard, very hard considering all I've written about and the time I have dedicated to working through this.
I'm interested in reading your thread, but I've spent more than enough time in front of here today. Time to shut this thing down.