Abusers always try to win trust, it's one of the ways they work, and a mom like the OP who is desperate for time away from kids will send bells off to an abuser. To not think of that, or, like here, to try to shame me into silence because my family has been victimized...that's just b.s. There is a difference between examining all the factors and making an informed decision, and living in fear- which I never said I do.
I'm sorry you had these experiences. The pain of abuse is something that I don't think people can really understand until it happens, and it's understandable that some may not want to know about this possibility. I happen to believe the general motive of sharing warnings (about how to protect oneself) is coming from a place of having experienced pain and not wanting others to have that experience too. It's a stretch to overgeneralize that into "living in constant fear of a predator". No one is saying sleepovers aren't fun and can't be safe.