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anyone get pg during a non-fertile time? (how long DO sperm live anyway?!) - Page 2

post #21 of 30
We have. The biggest thing is I can feel ok about it one moment but then very not ok the next day. There is no moving forward moment for me. I adore my two kids and I just did not want a third. Plain and simple. greensad.gif. I am miserable during the newborn stage until maybe 6-9 months. That's not even counting the loathing I have for pregnancy. To know I have at least a full year if not more of unhappiness ahead is daunting. I am 39 years old. I was happy before with our family. I don't like the idea of any more unhappiness when there was so much to get to this point ( eg. The other kids' baby years).
post #22 of 30
Thread Starter 

my friend spontaneously ovulated with her pg for her son! she always ovulated the SAME time every single cycle. one day, nowhere near her ovulation time, they dtd. all of a sudden, she felt an ovulation pain. she told her dh, "omg! i'm going to get pg! i just spontaneously ovulated like a cat!!!" 2wks later... bfp!

post #23 of 30
Thread Starter 

pandme~ i'm so sorry you feel that way honey. that must be so hard. just remember how fast it went last time with your other kids! it will go even faster then that. you WILL get happy/settled again. you will. just breathe... and let it go.

post #24 of 30

I'm a little late responding and I'm sure you've received enough answers... but according to Taking Charge of Your Fertility, female sperm swim slower but can live up to 5 days.  Male sperm swim faster but only live about 48 hours.  When I conceived my 2nd I KNEW it was a girl... we had sex on something like day 9.  I felt a little cramping around day 14 & just KNEW I was not only conceiving a child at that very moment, but also knew it was a girl.  Sure enough my daughter is 10 now. ;-) 

post #25 of 30

With this pregnancy, I ovulated on either CD 6 or 7 (and I never chart, etc, but I have conceived before around day 14). When I had my pregnancy hormone tested by blood, early in the pregnancy, it was REALLY high, considering when my last period had been, so my doctor ordered a very early ultrasound in case it was a molar pregnancy (some kind of tumor that causes hormones to release). In my mind, I knew we had ONLY had unprotected sex around day 6.....so I when I found out I was pregnant, I assumed I had conceived the month before and just had some early pregnancy bleeding that I mistook for a period.


Well, during the ultrasound, the doctor was like, "you say your last period was X? You sure???" Me: "Yes." Doctor: "You ovulated early! This baby is measuring 7 days big."


So in my case, it wasn't even the sperm surviving that long, it was that I really did ovulate on day 6 or 7, and that is why the baby was so developed for my dates. So then I immediately went from being in week 6 or whatever, to week 7, just like that!


Anyways, best of luck either way. My cycles were normally 26 or 27 days.

post #26 of 30
Thread Starter 

thanks for all the responses! VERY interesting!


i ended up getting af. wow! that was a wild ride for 3 weeks!!!


dh said that will never happen again. we'll see... LOL!

post #27 of 30
Lucky you. Wish we could trade places.
post #28 of 30

Pandme, I know that hopeless, angry/bitter place you are in.  I'm in it as well although it's for dramatically different reasons, nothing to do with the fact that I'm pregnant. But nonetheless, I recognize the tone you are posting in as very similar to how I feel about circumstances in my life totally beyond my control and that I can't find any way to feel anything other than disgust for.  It's such a sad place to be in. hug2.gif  I really hope things work out such a way that results in you only feeling better and better about your situation, and indeed happier every year.  Whatever you choose to do or however things unfold on their own.  I hope the same for myself, that I find peace with that which I cannot control, and find enough happiness within the things that are positive in my life to outweigh the aspects of my life situation which I loathe.

post #29 of 30
Thanks, Serafina. I just wish I could do what I know I probably should, but just can't. It makes me even angrier at myself that I always choose the route of most misery to me. I don't know how to be happy and stay happy. Depressing place to be at nearly 40.
post #30 of 30

No it would be a really depressing place to be at if you were nearly 60.  You are still young and you have the majority of your life ahead of you.  Give yourself permission to have issues with being happy, especially when you're in the max-intensity stage of the pg/baby years, and forgive yourself for being human and imperfect.  Then try to find support wherever you can, talk with other women (IRL close friends or not so close friends) who have BTDT and found ways to boost their overall feeling of emotional well being when that started to slip.  It's such a common problem that I'm sure that someone you know can empathize.  


You say "you just can't", so just accept that you can't, but try to look on the potentially positive side of that---maybe deep down you know that you will find the strength somehow to get through the tough parts and that on the other side, you will get to this place that you are in now with your two kids, again with three.  


Ok that was all really vague and general so I'll end on a specific tip--- when I hate things about my present situation, I fantasize about my life in ten or twenty years, when my (current) children are adults and I envision outings with them one on one, just knowing them as adult people and what they will be like.   How easily I can imagine that they will be thoughtful of their mother (they already are, in as far as they can be) and call & inquire if there is anything I need if they suspect it could be so, and how it will feel when they drop by 'just because' and I'll make tea and they'll tell me about their lives that week.  And then I remind myself that I get to enjoy that reality/situation for around several decades, which will be later on sprinkled with grandchildren.  This situation I'm struggling with in my life is a situation that will last perhaps a decade, maybe less.   That's just a little mental trick that gives me a bit of perspective and helps me boost myself out of the worst moods, no idea if it would work with you.


Your situation (very young kids, pregnancy again) will be over in just a matter of 2-3 years, and it will be easier this time than before because your older children will every year be able to help more with household chores/pulling their weight (and needing much less management from you than they do today).  They'll even be able to assist with occupying their little sibling's attention so you can go take a bath (for example), at least once when the newest is past the first-three-years intense phase.

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