Switching rooms during the night

[Zirconia]

Does anybody have a setup where your baby/toddler starts the night in their own room, then comes in to cosleep with you sometime during the night?  How is that working?

My 13-month-old starts the night in a pack-n-play in our room, then when I come to bed I move her to the sidecar crib, where we cosleep the rest of the night.  DH has been pushing for her to sleep in her own bed, in her own room - he'd like to regain a sense of privacy, and while I somewhat agree, I'm also not ready to give up cosleeping as long as she's nursing throughout the night.

I was thinking about a compromise, where we move the pack-n-play into a different bedroom, and she'd start the night there, then come into our room as usual after we go to bed.  That way, during the evenings, DH and I could lounge in our bed, access our bathroom and closet, and have more freedom.  And, we could set up "her" room, with her toys, rocking chair, music, etc. and start building a comforting space into her routine.

Eventually, of course, we'd like her to sleep all night in her own bed.  I'm trying to lay good groundwork while still being flexible while she's nursing.  Is that too inconsistent for the baby?  Or can it work?  Thanks!

[greenemami]

Yup, we started putting the kids to bed in their room probably closer to age 2, but same idea.  I'd put them to bed in their room and then carried them into my room whenever they woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep in their room, or the first time they woke up after I went to sleep.   It worked out well for us.

[Queermama]

yes yes yes... we did this too. We began napping our son in his room. then began putting him to bed in his crib and when we went to bed, we would bring him into our while he was still nursing. Then, when we switched him to a big boy bed, we put him in his bed to start and then I would wait until he would cry before I would go and get him. and now, at 2.5, he is starting to climb out of his bed and come down the hall to our bed if he wakes.... but he is also starting to sleep the whole night in his bed. best of luck to you!!!

[azzeps]

Yes, we do this.  We did this with my daughter, and we did it more recently with my son.  Actually, we started putting him to bed in his own room much sooner than we did with my daughter, and then upon the first night-waking (after I was in bed for the night) he joins us in bed.  Now, at 22 months, sometimes he doesn't wake until 4:30 or 5:00 am!  It is lovely!  Other times, he wakes as soon as my head hits the pillow at 11:30 pm (I swear he can hear it) and then wakes several times to nurse during the night.  It works really well for us to have the kids starting out in their own spaces and then joining us during the night.  Of course, just tonight, my son was having a hard time going to sleep, and asked to come sleep in my room, and I told him that he would be all alone in there because I wasn't ready to go to bed - that I had work to do, like dishes and laundry!  He didn't like that!!
 

[Zirconia]

Thanks! I wanted to add an update. Since moving DD to her own room for the first part of the night, she's sleeping her longest stretches ever! Three nights she slept until 4am (unheard of at our house), and routinely she does a 4-5 hour stretch! Yahoo! And bedtime has gotten MUCH easier - it seems like creating a nook with her bed, music, books, and rocking chair really clicked the bedtime routine into place. And DH and I LOVE the freedom in the evenings. Now I'm shopping for a convertible crib to replace the pack-n-play, do this thing up right!

[here we are]

Are u searching for a regular size crib? Just trying to get a sense of what age people use them for b/c i am considering starting out with a mini crib, but some 13 month old seem too big for it.

[Zirconia]

Yes, we're looking for a regular sized crib.  The mini-cribs are cute, but they can outgrow them pretty quickly.  Some babies sleep in a full-size crib from the beginning, and some babies get overwhelmed and prefer to be nestled someplace smaller (a bassinet, cosleeper, Moses basket, whatever) until they get a few months older.

[avismama24]

This is what we do!

[presentmoment]

We do the same thing -- dd starts the night in her crib, then dh or I brings her into our bed once she wakes and we're already in bed. This has been our routine since she was about 5 months old (she was in a cosleeper in our room until then). We had some rough times when she'd wake frequently and need to be rocked/patted/nursed back to sleep in her crib during the evening before we were in bed, but (knock on wood), now that she's 12 months, she's pretty good about giving us a 4-5 hour stretch at the start of the night.

I've been wondering about how this setup works for night weaning... would be interested in anyone's experience. It sounds like for some little ones, they just naturally start sleeping longer and longer stretches in their own space before waking. My daughter usually wants a full feeding when she first comes into our bed after that 4-5 hour stretch, so I do think she's probably partly waking from hunger, and I'm not in a hurry to cut out that feeding. With all the molars coming through and various other milestones, I'm not sure I'm quite ready to push for much in the way of cutting back on the subsequent habitual comfort nursings that happen once she's in our bed, but the fact that she'll sleep 4-5 hours in her crib (and has started making it through nap transitions too -- finally napping 90 minutes instead of the 35-minute catnaps that she did for ages) makes me wonder if she's almost ready to make that leap to at least partial night weaning and could just use a little coaching... man, I would love to sleep a 5-6 hour stretch myself on a regular basis. I feel like it would change my life.

[kblackstone444]

My son started sleeping in his own room (sometimes) at age 18 months when he got his own bed (twin mattress on the floor).  Before that, we coslept.  He starts out most nights in his own room now, and usually joins me anytime after 4 or so.  Sometimes earlier, as early as 2-3 hours after he falls asleep, but sometimes he'll sleep to 5:30 or even 6.  I've night weaned him- "milky" gets tired and sleeps at night now, but wakes up so James can nurse when it's light out, and I do keep a baby bottle of water near his bed 'cause he tends to get thirsty during the night, like his Mama.  I'll nurse him any time after it's light out, then I can sometimes get him to go back to sleep for another hour, hour and a half, 'cause we both need the sleep (we're both night owls, I haven't found a successful way to get us both to sleep earlier at night yet.)