My partner and I welcomed a new baby girl two months ago, after trying for two years for my partner to conceive without success and one attempt to get me pregnant. We are thrilled she is here, and my partner is thrilled to have been able to have a child -- but she obviously also has some disappointment around not having been able to give birth herself. I think she had mostly resolved these feelings, but it is getting hard again because the baby has started refusing to take breastmilk from a bottle for my partner. This is very complicated since I'm working part-time and in school, and we were counting on the baby being able to be with my partner two days a week (she also cut down to part-time work). But now that she won't take a bottle, the days she is with my partner have become MISERABLE for both of them, and my partner is feeling very "inadequate" and not like baby's mom. :( We had considered inducing lactation in my partner, but she gets terrible migraines and was afraid that the medication would make those worse and she also has no time to pump when she is working, so we gave up on that idea. Does anyone have any experience with breastfeeding sadness in this kind of situation? I'm afraid it's really going to affect our relationship, not to mention make it very difficult for us to share parenting for a few months anyway. I'm considering trying to buy a lact-aid or an SNS system so that DP can try to latch baby on to her own breast and feed her expressed milk... since she is utterly refusing the bottle at this point. Has anyone tried using the lact-aid or SNS just to feed the baby, without the goal of inducing a milk supply? Was it worth it, or just a horrible pain in the neck?
Any suggestions, BTDT, or advice on how to cope with resentment about mommy roles? This is hard stuff, sharing the mother role...
Thanks in advance.