I just really need to get this off my chest, sorry for the vent.
So I live with my daughter and my boyfriend. Recently his mother and little sister (12) have been staying with us. His mother recently went through a divorce and she is disabled, so she thinks that she won't be able to get custody of her daughter if she is living by herself. The place she was living before she started staying with us was unsuitable for kids (it was a warehouse). I gave the two of them my daughter's bedroom temporarily and she has been cosleeping with us. She usually cosleeps with us anyway, so when bf's mom started asking to stay over, it wasn't a big deal because we had an open bedroom. But I feel like the permanence has creeped up on me. The bedroom they are staying in still has my daughter's toys in it and decorations on the wall. She can't get to her toys because they are buried (literally) in dirty clothes and whatnot and my daughter at one point got very upset after the 12 year old messed with everything that was on the wall and rearranged it.
There are 5 people living in a two bedroom apartment. It is way overcrowded. We are looking for a bigger place, but I am scared because I feel like once we move it won't be "my" place anymore and I will have even less control than I do now.
The electricity bill has skyrocketed since they moved in. When his mom first asked if she could move in, she said she would pay for her share of the utilities but I haven't seen a penny. When I expressed my concerns with my boyfriend, he said to figure out the difference between the bill and the one for this month last year and he would pay the difference. But now he's broke so he can't help with the bill either. Bf's mom and sister are not conservative with electricity. When I woke up this morning, they had already left the house but there were 3 lights on (in bright daylight), the TV on and a fan on that no one was using but I am paying for.
They also don't clean up after themselves. The kitchen is always full of dishes, including the table so they end up not eating at the table but in the living room and leave their dirty dishes everywhere. They leave sharp knives dirty and dangling at the edge of a counter (I always wash my knives as soon as I use them and I keep sheaths on them). I just feel disgusted with their habits but I also feel like I would be a jerk if I except them to do everything my way. I want dirty dishes stacked neatly, I don't want the sink full of bowls and cups. I want people to scrape their plates and throw away napkins, put the milk back in the fridge, throw away garbage. I feel like I'm living in a pigsty and I fear that moving to a bigger apartment will just mean a bigger pigsty.
I don't want to live with BF's mom permanently. But here are the complications:
1) BF thinks he needs to live with his mom to take care of her.
2) When I left my daughter's dad, BF's mom let me sleep on her couch. I stayed there for 2 months. I was extremely grateful for a place to stay but I'm going to be honest the place was disgusting and I got my own place as soon as I could! She gave me a place to stay when I was homeless so I feel I owe her the same, but the problem is she wants it to be permanent.
3) I am on section 8 housing, so my rent is very low. If I kick bfs mom out she would have to pay much much more in rent somewhere else and I don't think she can afford it. I would basically be sending her out into the cold. She could qualify for section 8 but the waiting list is very long. To be honest I think half the reason she want's to live with me is to take advantage of my section 8 :(
So that's my story, thanks for letting me get it of my chest! Any advice you have would be welcome.