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What is the least amount of socialization in homeschooling

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I have a 2.75 & 4.75.
We homeschool.
We like it.
No one is complaining.

HOWEVER...i live in rural vermont. my family is estranged. My in laws want nothing to do with my kids (not even birthday parties...just once a year at Christmas if my husband just shows up the day of).
I have no support other than my hard working husband. No babysitter...no house keeper...
I have a woman about an hour and a half away that pretends to be a grandmother.
My closest friend is 3 hours away.

I joined a homeschool group but everyone is an hour away, has few members (only one of which is my children's age), we only meet about once a week...well, more like 3x a month.

We take tap, science program, and go to age appropriate (and some not but of interest) events, art museums, etc. but is this socialization...I don't think so....

My daughter considers her brother the sun and moon and there is no other satellite. My son appears to be a bit of loner...and his sister is enough for him and his friend from homeschool is a good one (when we see her)...he has never said he wants more friends or more to do...but I wonder...(he also is friends with siblings that are 12, 9, 6 which they love)

Are they getting enough socialization?

Should I be concerned?

post #2 of 12
That all sounds perfect to me! I would consider my kids very social, in that they enjoy going places and seeing people. But I gave up long ago the notion that they "should" spend any certain amount of time with people their age. It sounds to me like your kids have a lovely relationship and a beautiful broad spectrum of interactions with people. I think you can be proud of your relaxed, yet engaging, world experiences.
post #3 of 12
Are the kids happy? If so, don't worry about it. They're young yet.
post #4 of 12

You said, "We like it. No one is complaining."  So, I wouldn't worry! You seem to be taking advantage of what you can - programs and people who are available. Obviously, you aren't keeping your kids under a rock.  My sons are 3 and 6 and we are just starting to make friends this year. (I have no support either, so I sympathize with you there!) I used to worry when they were younger if they had enough social time, but as they get older, I'm slowly finding more opportunities. You probably will too. 

post #5 of 12

Humans, by our nature, are very adaptable. If you are happy and content with this situation, I see no reason to change it.

Do not trouble yourself with what you "should" be doing.

post #6 of 12

Your kids are young. You said "no one is complaining" so they are getting enough socialization. When they crave more friends, you will know, they will tell you. Also when your daughter does tap, maybe she'll meet a friend, then she will beg for a playdate.


Look for friends in the community if you can't find friends who homeschool. It will naturally develop. Most of my kid's friends are not homeschooled even though we do things with homeschoolers. At a certain point the homeschoolers were too busy for "just playing" and their moms wanted everything to be educational or enriching. The only kids who would just play we knew through Scouts or sports or the neighborhood.


My sons are 15.5 & 12.5 now and they have never been to school. They are both extroverts.


Good luck and enjoy the journey. I miss the days of mothering little ones.

post #7 of 12
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much everyone. It is just one of those things that I try to stay on top of...

Not that it happens but if my kids were watching 6 hours of tv and none of complained, I should hope it would come to my attention that this is (potentially) wrong.
And non-homeschoolers always ask about socialization (I always bit my tongue in thinking not all schools and children have appropriate socialization environments).

Just...insecure...it is the one thing that keeps me from thinking homeschooling is right for us. Lucky me ^_^

Happy days are here again.
post #8 of 12

Yeah, I don't think "no one complaining" is enough of a check on things. But "no one is complaining" and "everyone is active and curious" and "we are clearly growing and learning" and "we all feel healthy and confident" and "we all enjoy what we are doing with our days" ... I think that if you can say yes to all of that, you're good.



post #9 of 12
Originally Posted by mamaprovides View Post

And non-homeschoolers always ask about socialization (I always bit my tongue in thinking not all schools and children have appropriate socialization environments).

I've never really understood how one is supposed to get much social time at school.....Recess is what...like a half an hour long? That's hardly something to write home about.
post #10 of 12
Thread Starter 
A non sequitur but I think the idea is they spend 8 hours together with only one age group thus they learn social skills for 8 hours by learning to only speak when spoken to, raising hands, lunch, gym, locker room stuff, working together in activities and so on. And I remember some of my schools being nothing but socializing. But yea...I don't know...
post #11 of 12

I think, at the ages your kids are, this really isn't a huge problem.

post #12 of 12

Socializing and socialization can be somewhat different things. Are you concerned that your children will not develop peer relationships or will feel lonely because you feel lonely... or are you concerned they will not learn norms, values, behavior and social skills to get along in the world?


Very young children don't have a big need yet for a large social circle of friends and acquaintances. That is developmentally normal. http://www.pbs.org/wholechild/abc/social.html

Some kids are more introverted and don't need other people around as often as an extroverted kid would. Social needs are pretty individual. You can be friends with people of different ages and so can your kids. If your kids are happy with their current social life then I wouldn't worry.


If you are interacting with your kids and taking them out in the world at all then they are probably learning how to behave and function properly in society. Are they having trouble getting along with others? Are they struggling to understand how to behave indifferent situations? Are they not learning basic manners or to share or take turns? I think you constantly model proper behaviors and I'm sure with more than one child will adequately cover how to get along with others even if you don't leave your neighborhood ever again. If they seem to be having significant trouble learning to get along with others there might be something more going on.


FWIW, my almost 13 year old, introverted, only child dd (who has always been homeschooled) knows how to raise her hand in a class situation, stand in line patiently, share and take turns. She knows not to interrupt others. She knows not to pick her nose or put her feet on the table. She knows how to say please, thank you, etc. She knows that we dress and behave differently for different situations. She can talk to adults and gets along with kids her own age. She knows it is wrong to hit, shove or call people names. She knows that people are not different or bad because they look different or speak another language. She knows a bit about respecting different beliefs and cultural practices. I don't feel we made an unusual effort to teach these things to her... just basic parenting and taking her with us when we do go places.

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