gI am 6 months pregnant with our first. We decided to rent a house (vs our old apartment) when we found out I was expecting, we were only living in 500 sq feet, so we signed a lease and moved into a house that is only an 8 minute(!) drive from hubby's work in the Los Angeles area (vs a 25 minute commute from the old place). My husband, who is so thrilled about the pregnancy and becoming a Dad (probably more excited than me if that's possible), only asked that we find something close to work for him so that he can come home maybe 3 days a week for lunch to see the baby more, since sometimes he gets home at 6:30-ish or later. He has told me, in heartfelt talks, just how much that means to him, to be a good Dad who will be there for his kids (I think he is basically righting what he felt he didn't have, but his heart is in the right place and I think it's very sweet). He just really wants the baby and I to live close. And since we've lived here, honestly, I can tell he's been happier, just enjoying coming home for lunch and seeing my pregnant belly and getting excited to come home and spend some time mid-day with the baby in a few months. He comes home beaming, both nights and the days he comes for lunch, since living here. He has always been one of those rare young guys in their 20s that LOVES babies, and he's very family-oriented. The first day he came home for lunch, he actually started crying, telling me how much this means to him, having us here.
So as I said, we are in this new house. Since then I've realized that the airplane noise is a LOT worse than the days we toured the house around the holidays in December. Hubby notices it too, but it doesn't bother him, because I am one of those people that's sensitive to extraneous noise and he can just tune it out. The problem is, I can't imagine raising/caring for the baby here, because of the noise mostly (also, the tight space doesn't help but it's not the main issue). The noise makes this place not feel like a home to me, or a place I want to be with a baby. In fact, it distracts me from even feeling happy. :( Sometimes I am happy, but a lot of the time, the noise messes with my.....just sense of peace and calm, and I want to escape. The biggest problem is not being able to picture me and the baby spending quality time together, with that noise in the background. So I am facing a huge internal struggle. I do LOVE seeing hubby so happy, it makes my heart melt, but the noise drives me insane. I feel my happiness is important, but seeing him this happy also makes me happy. Back when he was commuting, he was moodier.
The worst part is that I think most people would be okay with the noise. My mom has been here, and she's like, "yeah, i notice it when you point it out, but I could still live here." Most people seem to just get used to it and adjust. For some reason I can't. I don't think it's because I'm obsessing, I think I am just sensitive and need a higher threshold of quiet to feel at peace and relaxed. But then I feel like I"m penalizing hubby for that. Like maybe this is my chance to not be so difficult for once, and put someone else first. I'm trying to, but can't get it to work. :(
And there is nowhere else that we can afford (literally, I have scoured the area) within a decent commute so he can come home for lunch, without the noise.
I found a place in a much quieter area, and I like it much more than this place. Hubby says he will break the lease to make me happy, because he can tell how unhappy I am here. I am having a hard time registering for baby things, etc etc.....I just can't imagine playing with the baby, nursing the baby, cuddling the baby on the couch, with the rattling of the planes in the background. I keep hoping I will "just get over it" or get used to it, but so far, no. I can still watch TV, but there is something about not having quiet in the background and having continuous rattling noises that makes me feel like I'm not in a home/safe place. Sometimes when I'm with hubby, I get a little distracted from it, but that's when it's more mild (it's a small airport so it depends on weather). When it's worse, I am just irritable to others around me because of it.
So what should I do???? I am TORN UP inside about squashing hubby's one thing he wanted, because I feel like what kind of an idiot has a husband who is ulta-enthused about being a great, involved Dad, then squashes his one request? Of course he can and will still be a great Dad even if he can't come home for lunch, but it just really seems like one of those things I know he will look back on and be sad about, because he made such a big deal about it being a priority.
Thoughts? At what point do I put aside something that drives me nuts? But honestly, I've tried and tried....why can't I just ignore the noise? Sorry about the rambling, just really upset.
Edited by bobcat - 2/25/13 at 7:38pm