Part time EC with my 4.5mo?

[redcanary]

Can you successfully part time EC? When dd was about 3 months old (she's almost 5mo now) I decided to start - and it stressed me out so badly. I was constantly watching her and thinking about whether she had to go or not, trying over and over just in case, running to the sink/pot/toilet/bowl tearing off the diaper, it was getting in the way of me getting anything done - it was stupid, really... but yeah, totally stressing me out, and I thought it isn't worthwhile if it's going to make me crazy over it! So, we've been doing a sort of half or part time EC, every time I take her to change her diaper, I hold her in position over the diaper pail and cue her with a psss. We cloth diaper and I generally change her a LOT, so I catch a lot of pees and almost all the big poops. Is this half diaper half EC thing going to confuse her?

I would love to do EC all day but it was really making me anxious over it. She definitely knows the cue and almost always goes on command, but I feel like I can't deal with doing it all the time. Maybe that's selfish of me - I feel bad that she should have to go in the diaper half the time because I am freaking out over it. Now that I know about EC and that it works, my conscience is giving me a really hard time about using diapers, but my weird anxiety over EC is making it really hard too!

So. I guess this ended up being a two part question - advice on my stupid stress over ECing, how to make it easier for me so I can make it work - Or if I can really just keep part-time ECing and still have it benefit us in the long run, without any stress.

Thanks

[seraf]

Part time EC is great. I consider us full time because I'm always willing to take my guys if they tell me they need to go. Otherwise I offer at wake ups, after misses (so changes), before we go out, or when they're otherwise fussy and I can't think of anything else to try.

There's nothing wrong with diaper backup if that's what works for you. Some people feel like they don't think to offer when baby's wearing a diaper, that's the only drawback I can think of. That and when the baby hits the age where they hate diaper changes, you may find yourself putting them on less. For now go with whatever works. You can always change it.

[Carlyle]

Totally agree with everything Seraf said.  I used diapers almost all the time with both kids (because I, like you, got too obsessed and worried about it if they were diaper free), and considered myself a full time ec-er because I was always willing to take them and I checked frequently.  I think for me (and it sounds like for you too), it was a much healthier way to do it than going diaper free, because I think stressing out about it backfires for both you and the baby.  It's too much pressure!  Not to say going diaper free is the wrong choice for everyone, but for me it was.  Anyway, best of luck to you, sounds like you are doing great, and keep up the good work!  Stress less :)

And I wanted to add that I think part time ec is a totally effective/valid way to go too, so even if you aren't thinking about it all the time, it's a great way to go.

[Tricia Valek]

I have always done EC part time. I think you have a good perpective, about it. Stress + baby= best avoided. I've been taking my 8 month old to potty a few times a day since she was born. Of course being that she is the third of children to do EC "the offer potty" habit is on auto pilot so to speak. There have been days a few months ago,we didn't EC at all, didn't seem to phase her. They know how to do it better than we do, so what ever comes naturally.
 

[tinyundiesny]

I think using cloth diapers is almost as good as doing EC full time.  I mean, she feels wet in cloth diapers, right?  Then the association between the action of eliminating and the wet feeling will be maintained.  When she is older and more communicative, it will be very helpful.  I used cloth diapers for my son for 12 months.  He stopped sending me signals when he started to crawl, so most of the time I just used timing (a half hour to an hour).  We weren't exactly "EC"ing in that sense, but it was the only way we could do it.  He started to go to a potty by himself around 12 months and started to tell me by grunting by 18 months, so it was fine.  I agree with everyone that stressing yourself out is no good.  Anything that stresses you or your baby or the relationship between you is not worth doing.  I myself was stressed out a little bit when I was doing EC or whatever.  I felt great when I caught pees and poops.  On the other hand, I was overly disappointed when I had misses.  In retrospect, I should have not made such a big deal about it.  Having a little baby is great.  There are many more wonderful things to do with her.

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