2 year old rest time/nap and bed time help.

[LoveLife]

I haven't posted on here in ages, I usually lurk.  But I'm at a total loss.  DS2 just turned 2 last week.  The week before he got a nasty stomach bug.  He couldn't keep anything down for days and had lots of diarrhea after that.  He refused to nurse the whole time and even with pumping, my milk supply disappeared.  We talked about it and decided to just let him wean, said goodbye to "nursies" and he hasn't asked since.  Problem: he has no idea how to fall asleep without them!  He nursed at nap and bedtime to fall asleep and now cannot seem to stay still long enough to fall asleep.

He's dropped naps completely, even though I'm certain he still needs them.  He's got lots of energy and is on the go all day, he's realized that if he doesn't lie still, he won't fall asleep.  So he tries to play or just cries and thrashes.  DS1 does rest time and if DS2 is going to refuse nap then I'd like to encourage rest time for him as well, but all he does is get out of bed and run around! I've given him is favorite books, crayons and coloring books, cars to play with and other things he can do to sitting still, but none keep him occupied for more than a minute before he's up racing around the room.

Any ideas to encourage nap?  If not nap then help him learn to have down time?

As for bed, we've got a solid bedtime routine. The only change is that instead of nursing after we finish I try to lay with him.  He screams and cries and pushes at me, saying, "go, go!" But if I leave him, he's up and at the door in a flash.  Its turned into a game.  If I stay he continues to cry and scream.  We've tried having DH put him to sleep, but then he simply cries for me.  And DH travels quite a bit, so its not a permanent solution anyways.   The boys share a room, so laying with him and letting him cry until he falls asleep isn't a feasible solution.

I have no idea how to help him fall asleep.  I offer to snuggle, rub back, sing a song.  Nothing works!  Its so upsetting and when he finally falls asleep over an hour later I'm an angry, frustrated mess.

If you've read this far- thank you!  If you have any ideas- double thanks!

Lovelife

[tracyamber]

oh my gosh.....sounds totally stressful...poor you.....poor little guy.  do you guys read books before bed or nap. we read lots of books in bed and then will discuss our day with the lights off(say abc's and count) and look out the window and while he's getting drowsy i rub his tummy and sing a song and rock him with my leg. but let me tell you this really is an hour process. does anyone else get out sooner..with a 2 year old? you might have to be resolved to know bedtime may take this long.

my 23 month old is weaned also and the transition was hard for us too because he nursed to sleep!!

nap time is still a little rusty for us..okay ready??? we stand in the bathroom and turn on the shower and i hold him and sleep just takes over. then i put him in bed. we tried ocean/rainstorm music but it didn't wok for us..maybe for you..

i feel for you mama...i hope this all works out soon so you and your son don't have to be so frustrated.

[LoveLife]

Thanks TracyAmber.  Sounds like you having a bit of the nap trouble we are. 

For bedtime, we come upstairs after snack, put on jamies, brush teeth, cuddle while we read books, say prayers, kisses and turn lights out.  Then usually I'd nurse him, now trying to lay with him.  So when I mention it taking an hour, that's actually how long he's fussing/crying/thrashing around after our 30- 45 minute routine.

We could never stare out the window.  He'd never sleep!  LOL.  Although we have used a peek out and asked "what do you see?" to get him to change tracks and calm down.  Sometimes it works, sometimes not. He needs it completely dark or everything is a distraction.

Nap is beyond frustrating.  Today he's so exhausted because he hasn't napped in days and isn't making up for it anywhere.  I tried walking with him, snuggling, reading, pretending to be alseep myself for hours.  Nothing worked.  Thank you for the reminder about music!  I'm going to run out and get another alarm CD player and find our rain and lullaby music and see if that helps!  I'd forgotten that we used it with DS1. If that doesn't work I'm totally gonna try the shower, but both our boys love taking showers, so that might backfire if he thinks he's going to get to play.  Haha.

[tracyamber]

how about a car drive....maybe you could take him out of the car seat w/o waking him??

[Mama Amie]

Oh, man! We have just entered that stage at 19mos with DD. DS, who is nearly 5 is taking naps regularly, but I remember all too well this stage of thrash and resist. Just last week, I could easily nurse her down for her very consistent afternoon nap. Not this week! I used to walk around or stand in an uninteresting room with my son in the Ergo carrier. He would typically fall asleep that way after some fuss. DD is a bit feistier, so I am just letting it ride and hoping she'll sync back into the nap groove with big bro. It is a time of major mental and physical development. No advice ( though a car ride might be in order so YOU can have some downtime... Maybe?), but I am totally sympathizing.

[colleentara]

I just came on here to get help with a similar issue. My guy is 27 months and just entered this stage! He only goes to sleep after a long routine and then me lying with him until he's out. He used to go to sleep by himself. He says that he's 'scared' --sometimes I think that's true, but other times he seems to be working it! All night long he is waking up and coming in to our bed (which is too small and I can't sleep).  He is barely napping. Some days I am able to lie with him until he falls asleep at naptime but not every day. He REALLY needs a nap. He is fussy and exhausted.

???

Can you tell I'm also losing my mind?

So-- I feel your pain....and am also looking for answers. I saw another thread where someone suggested placing a sleeping bag on the floor next to my bed to let him lie there at night. I might try that....

I also have an older son who is 4. He does quiet time and is so good about it...which is helpful, but i need the other one to rest too! (and he needs the rest).

I'm healing adrenal burnout which of course doesn't make this any easier.

Sorry I don't have much in the way of suggestions-- just able to commiserate!

[raidercake]

We do the usual pj's/ brush teeth/rock/books thing, but I will also sometimes lay down beside their bed and play calming music. I've played "Ave Verum Corpus" by the London Festival Orchestra at bedtime since they were tiny and I swear they are like Pavlov's dog when that song comes on, they are OUT. I do like laying beside them until they fall asleep because I can say "No more talking," "No more kicking your foot," etc ad infinitum till they finally go to sleep.

[Ola_]

DD just turned 2 and I rock/snuggle her in a glider for her nap and then put her in her crib once she's asleep. For bedtime after drinking milk and a snuggle she falls asleep in her crib while I (usually) sit beside her on the floor till she's out. When we first started this for bedtime (rather than the usual rocking to sleep) it took an hour once I put her in her crib, then slowly it got better and now it's 10-15 min unless something exciting happened right before bed and it takes her longer to mellow out. And like you said this is after the snack/milk/wash up/teeth/snuggle routine, but I think it's pretty awesome, lol.

When DD was smaller I would carry her around and sing, sticking to one or two (boring) rooms and always singing the same lullaby so it was part of the routine. My next door neighbours have a baby that only falls asleep in the car so they always put him in his PJs and drive till he falls asleep, then pick him up and put him to bed. He's like 2.5 y.o. now but it works for them!

[Hillary77]

When my dd was that age I had a long, repetetive story book memorized and would tell her the story slooowly while her eyes were closed. It was "going on a bear hunt" but anything super repetetive and sort of boring could work well!