Want a UC but DH is resistant, says too far from hospital

[Siennasue]

Hi there, I just joined the mothering group, this is my 32nd week with my second pregnancy. First one, I had in the hospital with two CNMs. It was a pretty good experience, considering. But this time I want it even better, be more in control and am planning on a homebirth. My mom has had 4 out of us 5 kids at home, two unintentially  UC! So I feel comfortable with her as my attendent. I have been seeing Dr at the OB clinic nearby and have taken all the required tests. She says I am in great health, and not high risk at all. I have had a lot of braxton hicks already, and baby is moving around a lot, head down. I am planning on the birth at my mom's house, which is 40 minutes from the closest hospital. That is DH's greatest and only concern, in case  of postpartum hemorrhaging. He also doesn't want to get his nursing license taken away, if there's any chance of that.

So, I was wondering first off, what are the chances of bleeding, and has anyone used Shepherd's Purse? 

Is there anything I can do/say to help change his mind? A homebirth is very important to me

Should I look up local midwives/doulas to assist along with my mom and husband, or is it too late in the pregnancy for that? And how much do they normally charge?

Anything else I should think about or advice? Anything is appreciated! TIA

[fayebond]

most questions oflegality depend on where you live, and i would definately call up a midwife if only to clarify that bit.  on the west coast of the us, midwives tend to a) offer free consultations for your first (or even second and third) appointments, and b) they all offer flexible payment plans for the $3,000-ish fee (this includes as many as 6 post patum appointments and all prenatal care too).  Its never too late to switch, seriuosly, but start looking now because they often take only 4 patients per month.  Final note on the midwie front, they are human, so find one you feel is informative and trustworthy before having the do-we-hire decision.  i was super glad we had ours, worth every penny.    If only because, by ging to appointments with me, dh was persuaded that this was a good idea.  i origiall ywanted a hospital birth (ubac, long story, lets just say dh was 1000% right, we needed our homebirth plan and the whole uc thing is awesome when it goes smoothly)  but all that to say if your dh isn't eventually convinced, maybe for you, its not a good idea.  and again, call a mw asap to find out if you CAN hire one or if its hospital vs uc-with-dh-and-mom.  thats my two bits with one hand typing in the dark at 3 am :)

[Springshowers]

We were too far from town for our midwife (Ontario rules say they must be less than an hour to the hospital). So we rented a house! The second time we used their birthing suite which was like being in a home. So there are are other options.

[Logan]

Is your mom's house closer to the hospital than your own? You could also consider renting a place (like a holiday stay home) or a hotel that was very close to the hospital as well.

If you were to get a midwife would that be enough to put his mind at ease regarding the distance? I think (but am certainly no expert) that by hiring a midwife your husband's nursing position would be more protected as the midwife would be the one with the responsibility for the birth. However, I don't know whether he could actually get into any trouble or not if you didn't have a midwife there. That is definitely something you should look up though and find out about. 

From what I have read, most hemorrhages are slow, not immediate. But by the time you noticed it, 40 minutes could definitely cause problems. Is it faster if you were by ambulance? Or is 40 the minimum it could possibly take to get there even by ambulance? Also have to factor in how long it would take the ambulance to get to you if you were more rural I guess.