I nursed my DS for 3.5 years and am currently nursing my DD who is 2.5. I nursed all through my pregnancy and tandem nursed for several months. That means I'm going on close to 6 years of non-stop nursing.
I was recently presented with the opportunity to travel out-of-state with my sister for four days. I've never been without my children for more than 6 hours at a time. And even though the idea of being gone for four days is giving me anxiety and making me feel guilty I really want to go. I've been feeling burnt out and not myself and DH is really encouraging me to take this trip for myself.
The trouble is I'll be leaving my 2.5 yo DD who is still nursing. She'll go to sleep without nursing if DH is the one who puts her down, and she's a really good eater. One half of my brain knows she's going to totally be okay, but the other half is worried it might be too soon.
If this separation leads her to wean I think I'd be okay with it. If I come home and the first thing I do when I walk in the door is nurse her, I'm okay with that too. I'm open to whatever outcome this brings.
I worry about the stress it might cause the both of us. My milk production is low but I wonder if my breasts will get engorged after not nursing for four days or will my milk dry up completely? Will I go through emotional withdrawal? Am I going to cry this entire vacation? Will she cry the entire time I'm gone and think I've abandoned her? Am I short changing her by possibly forcing her to wean at 2.5 when her brother got a whole extra year of nursing?
Everyone around me is very encouraging and supportive saying "Go! She'll be fine! You'll be fine!" which is a really nice thing to say, but I don't know if they fully understand what it means for me to leave my nursling. I'm not having any more babies so this might be the end of the nursing chapter of my life. The idea makes me cry. But I also really, really want to take this trip.
Oh mamas, I feel like a mess! Any advice or insight would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance for your comments.