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I screamed uncontrollably at my family

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 

I think I caused PTSD in my young toddler :'(   

 

He use to talk so much and now he just points and grunts :'( He use to be able to say 4 syllabl words. 

 

I have no excuse for my action but I need to know what I can do to fix this. 

 

I cant stop thinking about it, crying about it and tell myself that it can be fixed but I dont see how. Im sure there are very few other good mums that can say they have done it to this extreme so it might be difficult for anyone to help me. 

 

My babies father is pretty useless, causes me nothing but stress me out. Im a stay at home mum that has no support, no relief.  Again, not making excuses and Id like to say just giving u a picture of my life but not to make it into an excuse. 

 

Does anyone have any advice and please, Im beating myself up enough about this i dont need to hear Im a horrible mother :'(

post #2 of 11
First off, welcome to Mecca. Great place to connect.

Secondly, Sorry mama. Sounds awful. You need some down time it sounds like. I think you should head over to the gentle discipline forum and ask around there for some tips. I have yelled at my kids before and it does feel awful and I wish I could take it back.... you just have to move forward. Snuggle with your baby and tell him how much you love him.... I have closed myself in the bathroom before if I need some time.... making sure the kids are safe first.

Good luck.
post #3 of 11
Darn auto correct.... I meant welcome to MDC.
post #4 of 11
Thread Starter 

Thank you Chloe'sMama.

 

He walks around the condo repeating "mum" over and over again. :(  He's a happy toddler most of the times. Im really horrified that I did something irreparable :'(

post #5 of 11
Children are resilient. Yes you upset him, yes it may affect him for awhile. Find some support- get out and do something. Sometimes we do things that ate not okay. These are wake up calls to create change. Find support- maybe a stroller mom group that exercises together or a nice fb group. Support is around you but you have to look for it. Cuddle your baby, apologize and move on. The best way to protect your family is to take care of yourself. On an airplane you put your oxygen mask on first.
post #6 of 11
Thread Starter 

Thank you eabbmom. I do take care of myself. I go out with a gf once in a while. I do yoga 5 days a week in the evening when the babies father is home with him. The support in my area is limited, Ive looked. My son is a weird age, not crawling anymore but also not old enough for other groups.

You say yes it may affect him for a while like thats ok :(   His speech was so advanced. Ppl couldnt believe how much he talked at such a young age. :(  

Thank you though. All the suggestions are appreciated.

post #7 of 11
It may affect him for awhile and that is okay b/c it is what it is. Regression can happen with many things. How long ago did this happen?
post #8 of 11
Thread Starter 

It's been a few weeks, maybe a month. 

post #9 of 11
Did you apologize? Offer your child and example they can relate to that may help them understand why you reacted the way you did. Example: ask them how they felt when someone took away their favorite toy. Use words to help describe feelings. Did you feel angry, sad, scared? When they answer then try to reason with them about their actions. You were angry so you stomped away and slammed your cup. Or you where sad so you threw yourself on the floor and cried. They hopefully will relate when you then explain mommy is sorry for screaming the way I did. I was very angry and very sad because.......then ask your child if they understand and if they can possibly forgive you for being so upset that you made them feel scared. Let them know you are very sorry and will try very hard to control your temper. Hugging them and kissing them during the conversation helps too. You have to make them feel secure again.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Every mother makes mistakes. Some more often then others. Its how you go about correcting your mistake that matters.
post #10 of 11

I don't think screaming at him once would make his speech disappear. Many parents, myself included, have lost it and yelled at their families in moments of extreme stress!  Ranted and screamed, even thrown things.  It's not a good thing of course, but we're only human and  screaming once or twice is surely not the worst and most harmful thing you could ever do to your kids.  Especially if you talk about it afterwards and apologize!  Everyone loses their temper at times.  I think it's important to teach your children healthy ways to respond to stress and conflict, but it's also important that they know we are imperfect and that everyone makes mistakes.

 

Have you asked anyone else, like the pediatrician, about his loss of speech?  How old is he?  Could it just be a phase he's going through that will pass?  Is he maybe not feeling well from two year molars or an ear ache making him less likely to want to talk?  

 

Go easy on yourself!  I don't have a lot of help from my husband either--he works long hours and sleeps most of the day before leaving for work.  Being the person with sole responsibility can be extremely exhausting and it can really drive you to the edge of your sanity at times.  

post #11 of 11

Hi Mum, I agree with Pepper44.  Please go see a pediatrician and discuss your concerns about your son's language. I highly doubt you caused him to clam up. However, it is important to follow through on this.  Language issues can be revealed at this age. Early intervention is helpful.  Go see the ped.

 

Yoga 5 days a week is fantastic, keep it up!  Welcome to MDC, and please keep us up to date about your little one.

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