. My Oldest dd can never have enough of me. Doesn't matter if I spend an hr at bedtime with her, or take her out for special time, nothing's ever enough. Her common phrases are " I feel like I never get enough cuddles" " I feel like you never spend any time with me" yesterday after her staying home from school for a cold I left to take my son to soccer and she whined " I feel like you just want to spend time with him, not me. I didn't see you all day!" despite the fact she was home all day and her brother was at school!
I have tried to meet her " need" by giving her lots more attention but it doesn't fix anything or fill her bottomless hole.
Lately I started getting worried that perhaps my mother had parented her first child the way I do and that's why my older sister is so dependent on her still at age 40. Well my mom heard about my dd"s issue with needing me and said that's exactly how my sister used to be!
I thought I was parenting in a healthier way than my mom but turns out I am just repeating old and unhealthy patterns.
Yesterday I let my dd cry to sleep in her bed (she always asks for more cuddles and time and bedtime snack etc) because I need to do things differently. I need her to realize she can survive without me and stop trying to be her everything.
It'd hard to do because I have parented her with lots of care and attention to her emotional needs since she was a baby. All my kids (4) are such kind ", empathetic and social people. I worry that by stepping back from her needs I'll mess her up.