My mom* said she was going to throw a baby shower for me, and needed addresses to send invitations. I started giving her the names/addresses, and she said, "Oh, I'm not actually planning one. It was just a thought that I should probably plan one." so I said okay. Then one of my friends offered to throw me a baby shower, and since my mom said she *wasn't* going to plan one, I said friend could, if she wanted to. So my friend ran into my mom, and said something about throwing a shower, and my mom told her she was going to plan one, and could friend give mom addresses. My friend told DF that she didn't want to make my mom mad, so she isn't going to throw a baby shower, but "2 or 3 weeks after the baby is born, we're going to do a meet the baby party." I don't have many of my friends' addresses (they've all moved at least twice since I last saw them in person, but we keep in contact regularly through text/e-mail/facebook), but I'm pretty sure my friend does, but she didn't give them to my mom. I'm worried that asking people for their addresses to send them invites to a shower is rude, like I'm just asking for presents (I'm not. I really just want to have someone around other than me be excited I'm pregnant/going to have a baby. I've never had that before. My biological mom* even went so far as to say I should have/should have had abortions with DD and DS, and that was the person I was around 99% of the time with my pregnancies. So having people excited/happy/supportive would be *so* nice. DF isn't even excited. Just me, and sometimes DD.) So I don't know how to have my mom have the addresses, since friend didn't give them to her, and I don't want to be a rude to ask.
The other part of this is I'm not sure it is good/okay/polite to have a baby shower *and* a meet the baby party. It just seems like too much asking for attention. The other part of the situation is, for a myriad of reasons, I don't really *want* to have a meet the baby party.
I don't know what to do, but I'm due in April, so I really need to figure this out and/or get advice on what other people might do, because I don't have much time before baby comes.
ETA: It would be the same group of people invited to both things, and that's 99% of the reason I think it's especially distasteful.