Update on Melany and Anna - Page 5 « Back to Group Discussions

[withlittlelungs]

Please PM me chocolatechip!

[Melany]

There's a yarn shop near the hospital and baby needs a hat wardrobe! This is hat #2. Matching socks and maybe mitts are next.

[nearlyelated]

Adorable!  What a great way to pass the time. 

[writermama12]

C chip, I'd like a PM too please.

[Melany]

She's doing a lot better. Still on the vent. I've had a few moments were I've felt like I've failed her because I had to leave the room. It didn't phase me to stand bedside and hold her hand when they changed the dressing on her open incision, but when they went to draw blood and put a tourniquet around the top of her head looking for a vein, I bolted. Then this morning when they re-taped her vent tubes I had to bolt. She was crying, but without making a sound due to the tube down her throat. I was aching to pick her up and settle her and I couldn't. I couldn't even reach her with all the people around her bed. I just want to put her tummy on my chest and pat her back, but we are months out from that due to the tube in her belly.

But, she's better and stable.

Pete had to head home because he thought he was catching a cold. We sent him home with a lot of my pumped milk for the freezer. Since she won't eat by mouth for another month, we've been stock piling.

[maydaymom10]

So glad to hear that she's doing better. I think I would've also had a hard time watching them try to draw blood. It is so tough when you can't do anything to "save" your LO. I had a hard enough time with the heel prick. Sending lots of healing and calming vibes your way. I hope your DH recovers from his cold soon so he can be there with you. 

[veganyogamomma]

Hugs to you, Melany! I'm so glad she's doing better. Try to go easy on yourself- it's okay to have to leave the room sometimes. You are an amazing mom and she is so lucky to have you there with her. Sending your whole family lots of love.

[spughy]

((HUGS)) Melany.  You're doing a great job.  There is NO way you're failing your baby. 

And how smart is that, putting a yarn shop next to a hospital?  Our hospital is out in the boonies otherwise I would totally open one next to it.

[scruffy too]

  Melany!!!  I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to see Anna in distress and not hold her.  You're so strong!!  And completely NOT failing her in any way.

I hope DH gets better soon.

And I agree with Spughy, a yarn shop next to the hospital seems like a little bit of a silver lining in this situation.  The hat looks great!  And I'm sure the socks and mittens will, too!

You're never far from my thoughts.

[cabbitdancer]

A yarn shop is both a great thing and a dangerous thing for someone with a lot of time on their hands. The hat looks great.

[firespiritmelody]

Hang in there Melany, I'm sure you're doing amazing. I've sadly known a woman who's LO was born quite a bit early with a handful of issues and had to stay in the NICU for several weeks - this mama actually said to me (she was a client at my shop) that "having a baby in the NICU is great, the nurses do all the work!" THAT is failing your baby. What you did is absolutely understandable.

[sunshinelove]

Oh, Melany, everytime i see a picture of her i get tears in my eyes. She looks so precious and fragile. You are a strong mother who is doing the very best you can to be there for her during this difficult time. Your love is almost palpable through this forum, i can only imagine how wonderful it feels to her. Take care of yourself, stay strong, this too shall pass...

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by sunshinelove 

Oh, Melany, everytime i see a picture of her i get tears in my eyes. She looks so precious and fragile. You are a strong mother who is doing the very best you can to be there for her during this difficult time. Your love is almost palpable through this forum, i can only imagine how wonderful it feels to her. Take care of yourself, stay strong, this too shall pass...

This is beautifully said, Sunshine.  I wholeheartedly agree!  

[Melany]

My husband had been nagging me to set up a caring bridge site for her so he can direct people there. You know everyone means well, but it starts to get hard re-telling this story. He went home last Thursday because he thought he was getting sick and went to work. (I know, not nice, but it was just a cold). He said that every single person in the office stopped by to ask. Then people stopped by that he "kind of" knew. It sounds like it was a tough day. So, I worked obit during one of my many pumping sessions. It's not well written, but it gets the information across.

Could I ask someone to give the link out if I send it to you? If course, I think my husband wants to post the thing on FB, but I'm feeling a little more private.
Edited by Melany - 3/10/13 at 8:48am

[chocolatechip]

Melany, I'm happy to be in charge of sharing the caring bridge link by PM if you want. Alternatively, I could post it on our DDC Facebook page, since that group is private, and only accepted members can see it?

[chocolatechip]

Hi again everyone, I just posted the caring bridge link in our Facebook group. I recommend going through the sign-up process to be able to access the site (it's free, just a registration). Melany is posting some very loving and heartfelt difficult descriptions of what is going on for her and her family right now. We're all still thinking of you, Melany. 

[sunshinelove]

Thank you for doing that, chocolatechip.

[Melany]

I'm having trouble deciding what to do about a "friend" who has become a FB stalker of sorts. She has always posted these attention seeking, overly dramatic FB status updates and has now leached onto our story as a way to bring attention to herself. I haven't reached the point of unfriending hr, but I may need to block her if this keeps up.

She posted "my friends baby is fighting for her life" and then proceeded to comment on all the comments on "her" status. She shared the sweet photo I posted of Anna's eyes open with the line, "she finally opened her eyes, praise The Lord." Not only is that statement sensationalizing what is happening, but it is false. We've had lots of alert periods.

I'm not ok with this in such a public forum and I'm not ok with her using my daughter's story as a way to bring attention to herself. I've already had to contact aquiantences regarding the "end is near" tone of her posts. Frankly, it makes me mad. I'm really trying to stay positive and not slip into the mental hole I was in that first week and this woman's posts are inappropriate.

Our kids go to the same school, we have friends in common and it would be awkward if I unfriended her for "caring" but how do I get her to stop???

[spughy]

Oh, Melany, that's hard. Can you ask a mutual friend to ask that she tone down her updates? Or just not post them?  You seem like you're doing such an awesome job of staying positive and practical about everything and it's just not fair that someone could jeopardize that with thoughtless, alarmist posts.  You could also move her into "acquaintance" territory and mark your posts for friends & family...

[sunshinelove]

I like what spughy suggested--move her into aquaintance territory and only share your posts about Anna with friends and family. That will help some, i'm sure. To completely nip it in the bud, i suggest sending her (or having someone else send it) a private message on FB that explicitly explains what she's doing thats bothering you. Keep it as brief and to the point as possible to ensure it doesnt elicit a negative, emotional response. Say it in as gentle, caring way as possible if you want to make sure she doesnt retaliate or feel really hurt. You could also say something like, "thank you for caring about my daughter but i am feeling really sensitive about what's going on so please refrain from posting about her" or something along those lines. She sounds really obnoxious, i personally would have a very hard time being nice to her about it. Its really disrespectful of her to post about your daughter just to get attention, and also telling lies and being overdramatic . So horrible, i would probably unfriend her in your shoes. But if you really want to maintain some sense of friendliness then what i mentioned above should help.