March Chat Thread « Back to Group Discussions

[TIFF4NY]

Oh goodness ladies... It's (going to be) March! I can't believe how close we are all getting. And can I just point out there that is a November DDC already? 

[firespiritmelody]

Oh my goodness! I'm technically due at the very end of *this* month How the heck did *that* happen!

[velveeta]

I know. I've been telling people, "I am due in March." March! Whoa! I am so happy! I can't wait to hold my baby!!

[alaskanmomma]

*falls over* I can safely have Calliope in a month. A MONTH! More than likely we'll have our babies NEXT month. The later ladies may have May babies, but a majority of the group will be holding a newborn baby NEXT MONTH if not THIS month... oh lordy. I'm in such an excited yet scared mode right now(and I'm on baby #3...lol)

[bmcneal]

For the last couple days, I have not been happy about this baby. I don't know why because I want to be, but I just can't stand thinking that I'm going to have a baby in a few months, unless I try and make myself be happy. I just want to cry, really, when I think about it.

[Oliver's Mama]

Originally Posted by bmcneal 

For the last couple days, I have not been happy about this baby. I don't know why because I want to be, but I just can't stand thinking that I'm going to have a baby in a few months, unless I try and make myself be happy. I just want to cry, really, when I think about it.

I think a lot of us are having at least moments like that.  When reality sets in that it's truly happening, very soon, it's normal for the fear and uncertainty to creep in.  I've had a really rough week with my kids, and I feel like a complete incompetent failure as a mother and the thought of dragging a newborn into it all scares me, knowing I can't give her the calm, nurturing attention she deserves.  I guess I keep hoping that her mere presence will magically fix everything.

[Kara9080]

Originally Posted by bmcneal 

For the last couple days, I have not been happy about this baby. I don't know why because I want to be, but I just can't stand thinking that I'm going to have a baby in a few months, unless I try and make myself be happy. I just want to cry, really, when I think about it.

Sorry mama. I've been down the last several days as well. Not sure if I'm overly tired, tired of fighting this nasty cold, money stress or what. I've just been blue and not myself. We've had some major snow dumped on us and the sun hasn't shined and given us a nice day in weeks - that very well may be part of it too.

Good news that picked me up for several hours this week - I found out my insurance does pay for a free breast pump! DH bought me a PIS for Christmas but I never opened it so we can take it back. The insurance is going to provide a Ameda Purely Yours. Reviews between the two are comparable but PIS seems to win in a few areas. Still, it's free and I love that. As long as I can get enough milk from the Ameda like I did the PIS then I'll be happy. Any personal experience with the Ameda PY?

[cagnew]

Originally Posted by Oliver's Mama 

I think a lot of us are having at least moments like that.  When reality sets in that it's truly happening, very soon, it's normal for the fear and uncertainty to creep in.  I've had a really rough week with my kids, and I feel like a complete incompetent failure as a mother and the thought of dragging a newborn into it all scares me, knowing I can't give her the calm, nurturing attention she deserves.  I guess I keep hoping that her mere presence will magically fix everything.

I could have written this exact same post. Exactly. It's hard to push through the blues. I know I am just tired (exhausted!) and burnt-out because DH has been working so much, but it feels like everything is all f-ed up all the sudden. I was so excited for the baby to come and now the negatives and hard stuff about having a baby in the house keep coming to mind. I know this will pass but knowing that doesn't help much while I am in it.M

My dd just turned 2 and has become a screaming, whining child. It's awful. My other 2 didn't do this. She doesn't listen to anything and every time I say "no" she says, "OOOHHhh MOOOooom". At first it was cute. It's NOT cute anymore. I know she is yelling because I am yelling :( 

On a brighter note, I ordered my car seat and double stroller! Yay!

[stormysky]

I can relate to that sad, depressed, anxious kind of feeling. I don't know where everyone lives, but it's been a loooong winter, there's still a long way to go. March is definitely winter here, and April usually is too. That can definitely contribute. Plus our 3rd trimester hormones are really in full force. I know I usually feel much better after I have my babies than before. I am so looking forward to spring fever and giving birth!

[1babysmom]

I think there is a ton of anxiety at this stage of the game.  In the beginning it's a completely different type of anxiety, lots of worry, lots of hoping things go well, etc...but at this point our hormones are once again starting to go a little nuts so our emotions are wacky, we're anticipating a huge change in our lives, we're trying to prepare our homes, our families, our bodies, we're physically uncomfortable a lot of the time...if all that doesn't produce anxiety, I don't know what does! LOL

I am so excited about going into labor that I have to keep telling myself, "It'll happen, it'll happen!"  I keep palpating baby and feeling his/her head and trying to judge the size s/he is right now just for a realistic idea of what it would be like holding this little one already. (obviously I don't want it to happen THIS early, but it's just fun for me, I guess)  

But even though I'm so excited and so happy this is finally happening again, I'm still REALLY anxious a lot of the time.  I generally don't realize it until I've already gone over the edge...  Poor DH and the kiddos!  Sometimes I just get angry about nothing, or I cry about nothing, or I just feel so frustrated and agitated that it freaks ME out, too!  

On another note....I've been rocking my exercise ball and getting lots of ctx!  Which is nice (I like them!) because even for someone who gets lots of BH throughout pregnancy starting in the 1st trimester (I don't even bother with the max amount per hour rule because it never applies to me really), my uterus has been pretty quiet lately since I started my higher amounts of RRL tea.  I'm still dilating consistently without feeling them but I just like feeling that "action"...makes me feel not quite so stagnant at this point. LOL  I know that'll change with the prodromal labor I'm likely to experience once again this time, but that's okay for now. :)

On the weight side...I've actually been able to hold fairly steady for a few weeks.  It's felt wonderful.  I'm watching my calories although I've realized I wasn't really eating more than I should be in the first place (wanted to keep track though because until this pregnancy I've been pregnant and/or nursing at least 2 babies for many years so calories have been something I haven't really had to concern myself with...until now...), but otherwise my only change is the RRL tea more frequently and in higher potency.  Can't figure that one out but I'll take it.

[IronMam]

Just subscribing to the thread.

[Greenlea]

I'm anxious to have this baby. I'm exhausted from my hour long commutes each way to work, getting the kids ready in the morning, coming home exhausted not wanting to cook or clean or do anything. Once baby comes I get to quit my job and stay home and focus on getting my doula business going.  I know we will be so strapped for cash once baby comes and we still don't have the van, or DS1's new car seat, or my belly binder or bottles, or whatever else we really need - but I'm a firm believer that everything will work out. It has so far for us. Sure its stressful, but I don't know, I just feel like it will all work out.

DH has started up his PT Internet marketing sales business again. He kind of stopped doing it and wanted to quit, but he's going full force again with it which means he's home less and less which is only adding to my exhaustion of doing everything around the house. Yesterday I did too much and my stomach muscles were killing me in the afternoon.  I still have a vaginal infection I can't seem to get rid of with antibiotics which also means no sex for me and DH for a very long time now - which I know is stressing him out too.

I'm hoping to get the boys' bunk beds set up this weekend. We need to go out and still buy one mattress, and we're getting one gently used one from my sister. We moved in over a month ago but lots of stuff still needs unpacking, pictures hung, our personal style added, etc. We're having DS1's bday party at our place at the end of the month so I'm hoping to have everything done by then. Come on nesting phase - come quick!!!

Also, we have our hospital tour Sunday, which I'm looking forward to. Next Sunday is our maternity pics session too. Its nice to have something to look forward to amidst all the chaos.

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by Greenlea 

We're having DS1's bday party at our place at the end of the month so I'm hoping to have everything done by then. Come on nesting phase - come quick!!!

This was my motivation as well.... We just had a party here at home for DD1 and DS last Sunday. I worked my butt off preparing...painting, scrubbing floors and baseboards, washing curtains and upholstery, scrubbing walls, organizing, moving furniture, etc.... Of course no one noticed and it all felt in vain as my house was trashed in the end thanks to all the little cousins. But at least the deep cleaning is done and I wont think much abou it from here on out.

[bmcneal]

I want to cry. I have a situation I don't know exactly how to handle. Maybe you ladies can help.

One of my friends was going to throw me a baby shower, until she talked to my mom and my mom told her *she* wants to throw me a shower, and my mom asked my friend for addresses, so my friend backed off, not wanting to make my mom mad, and told DF she would throw a meet the baby party a couple of weeks/a month after the baby is born. My friend never gave my mom the addresses, and my mom asked me about them. I don't know everyone's addresses (They've all moved at least once since we stopped hanging out IRL, but we all talk via facebook/text/e-mail/call/whatever), so I can't give them to my mom. I feel like it would be rude to ask people for their addresses for a baby shower invitation, since showers are (traditionally) gift-giving occasions, and you aren't supposed to ask for gifts. I have asked, so I guess that part is moot, but it made/is making me very uncomfortable, and I don't like it.

The other part of the situation is, this one group of people are the only friends I have, and I feel it is/would be selfish to have both a baby shower with them *and* a meet the baby party with them (even if I'm not arranging either of them), because it seems like attention-grabbing. The other part of that is, I'm scared/nervous/paranoid about having a meet the baby party, and kind of don't want to have one, but I'm afraid that not everyone/no one will come to the baby shower, and that the meet the baby party will be the only time anyone but me (and sometimes DD) is any kind of excited about the baby (I'm trying to be excited, even though I'm having such severe negative feelings about this pregnancy/birth/baby.), so I don't want to say don't throw it. I found out about this yesterday, and have been stressing out *so* much about it, it's freaking me out.

[IronMam]

Just tell your friend the truth. Tell her you're feeling nervous, and ask HER what you should do. That way, she's getting a chance to tell you what she thinks and will feel validated. And maybe she'll be able to offer a good solution. :)

[alaskanmomma]

Originally Posted by bmcneal 

I want to cry. I have a situation I don't know exactly how to handle. Maybe you ladies can help.

One of my friends was going to throw me a baby shower, until she talked to my mom and my mom told her *she* wants to throw me a shower, and my mom asked my friend for addresses, so my friend backed off, not wanting to make my mom mad, and told DF she would throw a meet the baby party a couple of weeks/a month after the baby is born. My friend never gave my mom the addresses, and my mom asked me about them. I don't know everyone's addresses (They've all moved at least once since we stopped hanging out IRL, but we all talk via facebook/text/e-mail/call/whatever), so I can't give them to my mom. I feel like it would be rude to ask people for their addresses for a baby shower invitation, since showers are (traditionally) gift-giving occasions, and you aren't supposed to ask for gifts. I have asked, so I guess that part is moot, but it made/is making me very uncomfortable, and I don't like it.

The other part of the situation is, this one group of people are the only friends I have, and I feel it is/would be selfish to have both a baby shower with them *and* a meet the baby party with them (even if I'm not arranging either of them), because it seems like attention-grabbing. The other part of that is, I'm scared/nervous/paranoid about having a meet the baby party, and kind of don't want to have one, but I'm afraid that not everyone/no one will come to the baby shower, and that the meet the baby party will be the only time anyone but me (and sometimes DD) is any kind of excited about the baby (I'm trying to be excited, even though I'm having such severe negative feelings about this pregnancy/birth/baby.), so I don't want to say don't throw it. I found out about this yesterday, and have been stressing out *so* much about it, it's freaking me out.

I think with it being baby #3, I'd -personally- choose a baby shower OR a welcoming party, I've decided on a welcoming party with Calliope, mostly because I don't want people bugging me while I'm hugely pregnant :P and I rather get the meet and greet out of the way in one day instead of people in and out of my house all the time in the early PP days. 

 

[Oliver's Mama]

bmcneal,

I agree one party is probably going to be more than enough, and at least from my point of view, I'd error on the side of keeping mom happy and going with the shower.  like pp's said, be honest with your friend that the welcome party would be too much, and see if she can coordinate with your mom.  Just leave it to your friend to plan and get invitations out, you shouldn't have to stress over that.  Or what about www.evite.com which is free to do. Even if your mom wanted to mail traditional invites, I think it's common and perfectly acceptable for co-hosts to do their own invites separately and hopefully your friend has email contacts.  You can always take the wait-and-see approach with the baby meeting party; if you're struggling with the emotions now, it could be an uncomfortable and unnecessarily stressful situation to have the party if emotions are high post partum too; or maybe you'll feel so much better once baby IS here, you won't feel you need a party to get you excited about the babe.

[Greenlea]

I've never liked meet-and-greet parties personally as I wouldn't want my NB baby (depending on how old baby would be at the party) passed around to a whole party of people. I'd rather have a few people visit my house where I can control the situation.

[bmcneal]

My friend tried to talk to my mom about co-hosting, and my mom was, I guess kind of rude and said she didn't need help, to just give her the addresses, which... kind of upset me, TBH, because I'm not 100% sure my mom is even *going* to throw the shower. She keeps saying "Oh, I need addresses for the shower invitations." and when I try and talk to her about it, she's like, "Oh, I'm not really planning anything." so I don't know *what's* going on with her, except for she's the kind of person that would assure me she's throwing me a shower, me get all excited about it, just for the day to come and turn out she hadn't planned one at all. She's not very nice, and I *really* wish she hadn't talked to my friend and my friend would have been able to throw it for me, since I *know* she's excited about it, and would actually want to.

The worry about the meet the baby party is less about the bunch of people being around the baby (though that is also a concern), but more (irrational) paranoia about someone finding out about the baby and passing it to ex-boyfriend, and him harassing me more.

[firespiritmelody]

Originally Posted by Kara9080 

Sorry mama. I've been down the last several days as well. Not sure if I'm overly tired, tired of fighting this nasty cold, money stress or what. I've just been blue and not myself. We've had some major snow dumped on us and the sun hasn't shined and given us a nice day in weeks - that very well may be part of it too.

Good news that picked me up for several hours this week - I found out my insurance does pay for a free breast pump! DH bought me a PIS for Christmas but I never opened it so we can take it back. The insurance is going to provide a Ameda Purely Yours. Reviews between the two are comparable but PIS seems to win in a few areas. Still, it's free and I love that. As long as I can get enough milk from the Ameda like I did the PIS then I'll be happy. Any personal experience with the Ameda PY?

I have the ameda and I love it! FWIW, It's a closed system so there is zero chance of any milk particles (or other germs) getting inside the pump and leading to mold or other contamination issues - unlike the medela.