March 2013 Rockstar Mamas Thread

[MarineWife]

Welcome to the Rockstar Mamas thread! Our wonderful group of mamas started following each other in the Charting to Avoid thread over in fertility. Eventually we created "The Whatever Ladies!", a safe place for those of us who were not trying to prevent pregnancy, though not actively trying to conceive either. Spread out over a year, we all got pregnant and had our current babes- several whom are over a year old now!

We made the decision to switch to Rockstar Mamas, after a conversation about how each and every one of us was a Rockstar in some way, for living and thriving through the parenting challenges thrown our way every day. Feel free to join us in our thread, but be warned, the conversation moves fast!

Not really rules but something to consider if you join:

1. Need to be chatty

2. Know that we are all vastly different from one another but we've become friends so we respect those differences. We are vaxers and nonvaxers; homeschoolers, unschoolers, public schoolers; run the gamut from vegan to paleo; some of us want more kids, some don't, and some aren't sure...but we all manage to really get along and come together on things we DO agree on.

3. Aren't afraid to ask each other the hard questions or point out the obvious when/if we want advice!

Member List:

Round 1
lyeterae ~ Baby boy born February 2011
annie ~ Baby girl born April 7, 2011
Barefootscientist ~ Baby boy born May 30, 2011
AnnieA (due 7/18) ~ Baby girl born July 17, 2011
MarineWife (due 7/30) ~ Baby boy born July 25, 2011
Baby_Cakes (due 8/16) ~ Baby boy born August 16, 2011
MovingMomma (due 8/9) ~ Baby girl born August 18, 2011
akind1 (due 9/28) ~ Baby girl born October 11, 2011
mom2one (due 10/23) ~ Baby boy born October 21, 2011
jeninejessica (due 12/01) ~ Baby girl born November 29, 2011
Kindermama (due 1/6) ~ Baby boy born January 1, 2012
Euromama

Round 2
akind1 (due 3/6/13) ~ Baby boy born March 11, 2013

Last month's thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1373799/february-2013-rockstar-mamas-thread
Edited by MarineWife - 3/11/13 at 7:42am

[MarineWife]

kat ~ glad you are back home. what happened? your first post looks like it was partly deleted.

we don't kiss much, either. dh is not a good kisser. i've tried to teach him how to kiss better but he doesn't get it, even when i have said, "kiss me like this." he really is so dense sometimes. Maybe if he had said to me, "Hey, I heard this thing about kissing for a whole minute. Want to try it?" I might be up for it. But coming at me while I'm sort of pinned on the couch and setting a timer without explaining anything creeps me out.

I'm ready for menopause so I don't have to worry about babies at all. I had my first day of ewcf this cycle yesterday. I was actually expecting it. I recognized the build up to it. Whenever I'm fertile my mind tries to play tricks on me, like telling me that having one more baby wouldn't be so bad. No way! I am definitely done! (Although, I still wish I could have a girl, but taking a 50/50 risk isn't worth it. )

I've been wondering if part of my increased irritability and moodiness could be the beginnings of menopause. Did I tell you all that the midwife I saw for my annual exam asked if I was having any menopause symptoms yet? When I told her I was breastfeeding she said I probably wasn't and, if I was, I wouldn't be able to tell that from breastfeeding hormones. I've been waking up almost every night sweating to death. I mean so hot that I'm ripping off clothes and wet with sweat. And I even turn down the temperature on the thermostat before going to bed.

[Baby_Cakes]

Oh wow that does sound like, from what I've heard, mw.  That's crazy.  Bf'ing and menopause at the same time!

I was thinking lately how I have no strong urges or feelings to wean Finn.  Nothing.  I'm still really happy to continue nursing on cue with him.  Comparing it to my nursing relationship with Nora is strange b/c when she was this age I was really feeling done.  I wanted to be done by 2, and we were.  Thinking that is only 6 months away is frightening to me!  I can't imagine it.  I'm holding on to nursing Finn with every fiber of my being!!

I'm SO ready for DH to come home tonight.  Tmw I need a break.  I'm not sure what I'll do -- I don't really want to DO anything.  Part of me just wants to go sit at starbucks with a book.  I think that's what I might actually do!

[onetwoten]

Subbing quickly!

Carrie-- Starbucks with a book sounds like HEAVEN right now!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Oh wow that does sound like, from what I've heard, mw.  That's crazy.  Bf'ing and menopause at the same time!

And, it appears my cycles might be getting shorter. Isn't that a menopause symptom? They are becoming more "normal". I'm on cd16 now with three days of ewcf. Hmmmm....

I'm on my own tonight. DH has a function to go to. I knew about the function but what I didn't know was that he is planning to spend the night. It's about an hour or so away and he'll be drinking so he doesn't want to risk a DUI. Very responsible of him, though he barely drinks at all. I don't think I've ever seen him have more than two beers in a night. I'm not upset that he's spending the night. I am a little annoyed that he didn't tell me until just now and only because I asked what time he'd be home. He swears he told me but I'm sure I would have remembered that. Plus, he didn't tell me the name of the hotel. Again, he said he told me when he booked it. Um, no. I would have remembered that, too. I told him to have fun with his date, Kim.

[Baby_Cakes]

Oh geez!!!  Smh seriously!

I think tmw I'm actually going to go to either ruby tues or cheesecake factory and sit and have completely kid free/ baby free time with my bff danielle.  OMG i hope it happens. We are going to have margaritas and TALK.  I can't even describe how much im looking fwd!

[AnnieA]

How did your kid free day go Baby_Cakes?

Ava is making up for all the food she didn't have last week. She ate dinner four times last night and she ate almost a whole bag of frozen carrots that I had cooked in chicken noodle soup. Craziness!

[Baby_Cakes]

Yesterday was amazing.  Just plain wonderful!  Aside from sleeping in and all that, I went shopping at the mall and got new jeans and a few cute tops for summer, met with my gf and we sat over margaritas and burgers and chatted for TWO HOURS!  No interruptions, about serious things, our relationships, our own families growing up, our feelings about things...oh it was great.  Good food too.  We went to the cheesecake factory, I haven't been there in probably 4 years.  After we finished up, she had to go home, so I went to Buy Buy Baby to see if I could get another NoseFrida since ours have gone MIA.  They were sold out!  I was like wtf?  So I putzed around and picked up a few things.  That store.  Omg.  They must have baby fever being forced thru the hot air vents b/c DAMN was I starting to think about another while I was there!  I'm also ovulating so of course I've got the fertile crazies right now and am not thinking straight.  I looked at carseats for a bit and helped a young couple with an infant.  Taught them car seat safety and how to use the convertible seat they were eyeing, and explained why extended rear facing is safest.  They were so responsive!  I think I really helped them out!

I also was looking at potty stuff for Finn.  I'm going to jump in soon, I think.  I got him a flap book for us to read together about using the potty and I'm almost thru/understanding the oh crap guide.  I'm nervous b/c I know how hard the first few months w/a newly potty trained child is and I'm not looking fwd -- but I also know it's never as bad as you picture it to be, and it's really the next logical step right now so, it'll be ok.

So glad Chris is home.  We are like kids in love again.  I hope these romantic feelings linger for a long time.   Today is his birthday, and we are going out to eat later.  It's going to be nice to get out with him alone!

[akind1]

Hooray for a great day! Carrie! You deserved it!
JJ: love when babies flirt!
MW: wondered what the Kim comment on FB was about, get it now!
On Thursday, went to regular appointment and BP spiked to 158/84, with +1 protein in urine. Went down a little on recheck, to 140/70, but sent over to observation for labs, serial BP checks and another urine sample. BP went down, urine was clear, labs good, was sent home.
Next appointment is Monday morning. Working on evicting baby naturally as they won't induce. No luck thus far, but having more random contractions. Well, they are regular for a bit, stall, and start up again later. So ready for baby to be here. But I'm still not desperate yet.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by akind1 

On Thursday, went to regular appointment and BP spiked to 158/84, with +1 protein in urine. Went down a little on recheck, to 140/70, but sent over to observation for labs, serial BP checks and another urine sample. BP went down, urine was clear, labs good, was sent home.
Next appointment is Monday morning. Working on evicting baby naturally as they won't induce. No luck thus far, but having more random contractions. Well, they are regular for a bit, stall, and start up again later. So ready for baby to be here. But I'm still not desperate yet.

Yikes yikes!  Come on baby!  Lets move!  I know it's frustrating especially since you're SO DONE, but he's coming out one way or another SOON!  Do you have any more shopping to do or anything?  Are you and DH going on a date one last time or anything?  

Hopefully the bp stays where it should.  It sucks you still have to work.  Any swelling or any other signs?  Since it's going down, that's excellent news.  Drink lots of water and try not to STRESS!!!  You've got this!

[onetwoten]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Yesterday was amazing.  Just plain wonderful!  Aside from sleeping in and all that, I went shopping at the mall and got new jeans and a few cute tops for summer, met with my gf and we sat over margaritas and burgers and chatted for TWO HOURS!  No interruptions, about serious things, our relationships, our own families growing up, our feelings about things...oh it was great.  Good food too.  We went to the cheesecake factory, I haven't been there in probably 4 years.  After we finished up, she had to go home, so I went to Buy Buy Baby to see if I could get another NoseFrida since ours have gone MIA.  They were sold out!  I was like wtf?  So I putzed around and picked up a few things.  That store.  Omg.  They must have baby fever being forced thru the hot air vents b/c DAMN was I starting to think about another while I was there!  I'm also ovulating so of course I've got the fertile crazies right now and am not thinking straight.  I looked at carseats for a bit and helped a young couple with an infant.  Taught them car seat safety and how to use the convertible seat they were eyeing, and explained why extended rear facing is safest.  They were so responsive!  I think I really helped them out!

I also was looking at potty stuff for Finn.  I'm going to jump in soon, I think.  I got him a flap book for us to read together about using the potty and I'm almost thru/understanding the oh crap guide.  I'm nervous b/c I know how hard the first few months w/a newly potty trained child is and I'm not looking fwd -- but I also know it's never as bad as you picture it to be, and it's really the next logical step right now so, it'll be ok.

So glad Chris is home.  We are like kids in love again.  I hope these romantic feelings linger for a long time.   Today is his birthday, and we are going out to eat later.  It's going to be nice to get out with him alone!

Oh Carrie!!  That sounds like a dream!  Your whole post honestly just makes me warm and fuzzy inside! It sounds like things are going so well. I hope the weekend (and week) keeps up this way! You deserve it!

A friend from high school just posted her new baby photos. Gorgeous teeny 6lb boy. *swoon*  Between that and my BFF being pregnant, it's constantly on my mind. But thankfully, even with the flood of baby cutes and hormones, I'm still sane enough at least to know that I'm not ready yet for us to be looking at another. Not on purpose anyways. If it happened, we'd figure it out, but not purposely!

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Yikes yikes!  Come on baby!  Lets move!  I know it's frustrating especially since you're SO DONE, but he's coming out one way or another SOON!  Do you have any more shopping to do or anything?  Are you and DH going on a date one last time or anything?  

Hopefully the bp stays where it should.  It sucks you still have to work.  Any swelling or any other signs?  Since it's going down, that's excellent news.  Drink lots of water and try not to STRESS!!!  You've got this!

I did a huge stocking up grocery shop the night I went into labor with Ten, I joked that she was waiting because she knew we'd starve otherwise. lol

[MarineWife]

Carrie ~ Glad you had such a good day and are enjoying Chris being home.

Kat ~ Whew! Glad everything went back to normal, or at least ok for you to go home.

I spent practically the whole day yesterday in bed after dh got home. I don't know what was up with D the night before. He woke up around 1 am and was up until at least 3. I don't think I slept at all from 1 until 8 am or so. I remember tossing around in the bed, D nursing on and off, and looking at the clock every couple of hours thinking, "Why can't I sleep?" Ugh! DH is leaving in a week for the rest of the month. I don't know how we'll make it while he's gone. I told him I didn't think we would. I'm not very good and not sharing things that would make him worry while he's away.

We're getting along a lot better right now. Going to counseling has really helped, I think. Mostly, it has helped dh understand that he is part of the problem and needs to change his attitude. He's been much more fun and upbeat, playing with the boys more instead of just being annoyed with them, being nicer to me in general, not spending all of his time being busy so he has some time for me. He laid down with me for a little bit yesterday while I was resting and we even play wrestled some. Only D came to my rescue but then he got jealous that dh was touching me. We're better able to joke and laugh about things that annoy us rather than being angry. It's good.

We're taking R, his GF and his BFF out to dinner tonight for R's birthday. It's not until the 11th but dh will be gone then so we're doing it tonight. It's pretty much a family tradition now. We decide to take R out to dinner for his birthday, someone gets upset and has a fit and we're all miserable. I've started joking about it early so, hopefully, if it does happen, we can laugh it off. We're going to The Melting Pot in Wilmington. It's fondue, in case you all didn't know or couldn't figure it out by the name. I don't think any of us have ever had fondue so it should be interesting. They prepare the food at the table. R wanted the Cheesecake Factory but he was mistaken about their being one in Wilmington so we're trying this. I've heard good things about it.

I guess that's all. Nothing much else going on.

[akind1]

Well, you prepare the food at the table. It's delicious, cook your own food. I like it, but it's pricey to do often.

We've done everything on my pregnancy bucket list. EVERYTHING. Just waiting on baby. Even Gabe says he's ready LOL. I'm not really stressed, just done, and timing is trickier with more kids- there are certainly days/times that are more convenient forhis arrival than others.

But he'll come when he comes.

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

I did a huge stocking up grocery shop the night I went into labor with Ten, I joked that she was waiting because she knew we'd starve otherwise. lol

So did I the night I went in to labor with Ava! I had been having back pain all afternoon but I thought it was from cleaning all day. I laid down to rest but all I could think was "I need to go to the grocery store. NOW!" So I went and bought a week's worth of groceries and while I was shopping, I noticed I was having contractions. I finished shopping, loaded everything in the car, drove home, unloaded AND PUT AWAY all the groceries and then decided I really was in labor.

Originally Posted by MarineWife 
Only D came to my rescue but then he got jealous that dh was touching me. We're better able to joke and laugh about things that annoy us rather than being angry. It's good.

We're taking R, his GF and his BFF out to dinner tonight for R's birthday. It's not until the 11th but dh will be gone then so we're doing it tonight. It's pretty much a family tradition now. We decide to take R out to dinner for his birthday, someone gets upset and has a fit and we're all miserable. I've started joking about it early so, hopefully, if it does happen, we can laugh it off. We're going to The Melting Pot in Wilmington. It's fondue, in case you all didn't know or couldn't figure it out by the name. I don't think any of us have ever had fondue so it should be interesting. They prepare the food at the table. R wanted the Cheesecake Factory but he was mistaken about their being one in Wilmington so we're trying this. I've heard good things about it.

I guess that's all. Nothing much else going on.

Ava did that last night! I was trying to hug DH while we were sitting on the couch and she came up and got so pissed! It was pretty funny.

We have a Melting Pot here in town but I've never been. I can't justify the cost...I'm such a cheapskate.

So I'll probably regret saying this but during the day while we are home, Ava is pretty much potty-trained. Even if she's wearing a diaper, she still goes and sits on the potty if she needs to go. She hasn't gotten the concept of asking me to help her if she's wearing a diaper or underwear yet but she's working on it. But she'll stop playing, go pee on the potty, come get me to tell me she's peed and asks for her high-five. If other people are home, she wants a high-five from everyone. I need to get one of those travel potty seat things that makes a big toilet have a smaller opening. In a month or so, we'll start working on telling me when she needs to go potty when we're out.

Baby_Cakes, did you like that potty book that you posted? I couldn't quite get a grasp of what info she's providing in the book, or how it's different than everything else floating around out there.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 
We're better able to joke and laugh about things that annoy us rather than being angry. It's good.

That's very good!  That means both your guards are down, and you're letting the other into your heart.  I like reading this!

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

Oh Carrie!!  That sounds like a dream!  Your whole post honestly just makes me warm and fuzzy inside! It sounds like things are going so well. I hope the weekend (and week) keeps up this way! You deserve it!

A friend from high school just posted her new baby photos. Gorgeous teeny 6lb boy. *swoon*  Between that and my BFF being pregnant, it's constantly on my mind. But thankfully, even with the flood of baby cutes and hormones, I'm still sane enough at least to know that I'm not ready yet for us to be looking at another. Not on purpose anyways. If it happened, we'd figure it out, but not purposely!

I did a huge stocking up grocery shop the night I went into labor with Ten, I joked that she was waiting because she knew we'd starve otherwise. lol

Thanks!  We had SUCH a good weekend.  So needed!!

It's hard when everyone around you is pg.  But, it also kind of makes things easier, lol, b/c once they have their babies you can get your baby fix but still go back home to your big kid and all is good.  

I seriously know what you mean tho, b/c I have the fertile crazies.  Even if we WERE planning another, it wouldn't be NOW, for crying out loud.  I love my 3 year age gap, and wouldn't do kids closer together than that on purpose.  Just like you said, if it happens, we'd deal, but we know ourselves and our kids well enough that it wouldn't be planned that way.  Just DON'T go shopping at Buy Buy Baby during ovulation, anyone!  I'm serious!!  It's like to have pheromones or something being pumped thru the ventilation system or subliminal messages urging you to get preggo!  LOL!!  

Originally Posted by akind1 

Well, you prepare the food at the table. It's delicious, cook your own food. I like it, but it's pricey to do often.

We've done everything on my pregnancy bucket list. EVERYTHING. Just waiting on baby. Even Gabe says he's ready LOL. I'm not really stressed, just done, and timing is trickier with more kids- there are certainly days/times that are more convenient forhis arrival than others.

But he'll come when he comes.

Come on baby!!!  I feel like it'll be tomorrow.  We'll see. 

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Baby_Cakes, did you like that potty book that you posted? I couldn't quite get a grasp of what info she's providing in the book, or how it's different than everything else floating around out there.

I liked it but I didn't LOVE it.  I think I'm going to take pieces from it and pieces from the 3 Day Method and combine them.  I like the more easygoing relaxed feel and the Phases of potty training that are in the Oh Crap book, but I don't like the whole Naked Phase part.  I want to go straight to underwears.  And I don't mind using a trainer for errands once the first Phase is complete (when they go from Clueless to Im Peeing or I've Peed).    And of course I won't throw out all the dipes, b/c I'm not ready to night train him just yet.  So.  I still want to use a dipe at night.  Most of those things I did with Nora and they weren't "allowed" in the 3 Day Method and I did them anyway, feeling like a rebel.  LOL.  Now at least seeing the more low key approach from the Oh Crap book makes me feel like those things are not that huge of a deal. 

The Oh Crap book doesn't focus on Days, like it should click by Day 2 or Day 3.  It focuses more on phases like I said.  So it might take 5 days to get to Phase 2 or Phase 3 but that's ok.  Just take it easy and don't pressure anyone, and don't put pressure on yourself.  I like that.  

AFM - last night for DH's bday we went out for Thai which was excellent. (My ILs came over to babysit in our house.) Omg so good, I LOVE curry so much.  Then we went for drinks and sat a bar like normal people.  It felt so freeing!  It has literally been since COLLEGE that we sat at a bar and just drank and talked and laughed.  Sigh.  I really am falling in love with him again.  Really am.  It's fantastic.  
Anyway we got home around 630 and my MIL had made cupcakes so we all sang happy birthday and ate cupcakes, then got the kids off to bed and then stayed up watching Dr Who.  Stayed up too late!  I feel like I "partied hard" this weekend, lol which is a very different feeling than just being tired from not sleeping!  LOL!  He brings out a different side of me, for sure!  Ha!

No plans today really.  Ive decided Nora's emotions are just too big right now so I'm not taking her shopping at all for awhile.  So if it's mild enough outside, we'll probably play out back for a bit, maybe go for a walk?  Not sure.  If that gets ruled out b/c of weather we'll just figure something out indoors.  

[AnnieA]

I like the take it slow approach too but naked time is critical for Ava! Whenever I look at pictures you post, I'm always slightly confused until I remember that your kids stay dressed...hahaha! It will be a while before nighttime dipes are gone.

I'm so glad marriages are coming back to an equilibrium. It's so hard on everyone when that conflict is there, even in the background.

AFM, we are almost back to normal. Up at a respectable 8 am instead of the 11 am mornings Ava had been pulling. So we can actually make it to her storytime at the library this morning!

[Baby_Cakes]

I'm afraid of naked potty training.  I feel like then I'll have to train him to wear pants and it adds an extra step.  The Oh Crap method has you go from naked to commando in phase 1 to phase 2. The 3 day has you go from diaper to underwear.  Idk.  I'm really not into nakedness around the house...but I do think I need to be openminded in case that's where we need to go to have success.  You know?

I need to dig deep today.  Nora is in meltdown mode.  She's pushing so many limits.  She wrote her name on her baby stroller with marker "b/c it's hers and no one else can use it!", which burns me up so much b/c now we can't even donate it when its outgrown.  She suddenly NEEDs this robot snowman thing from christmas time that sings holly jolly christmas, and I had to break the news to her that it broke weeks ago and I threw it out.  Mean mommy!!  Ugh, I feel awful b/c she was BROKEN UP that it's gone.  Sigh.  Her emotions are SO BIG.  I wish I could give her tools to help her deal with how disappointed she gets.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

I wish I could give her tools to help her deal with how disappointed she gets.

isn't there info in that peaceful parenting book? empathy is the best thing you can give her as long as you don't give it with the expectation that she will suddenly stop being upset. her response may initially be to get even more upset but that is actually a good thing. it means she feels safe to express herself with you. if you can't do anything else, just sit with her while she screams and cries. don't take anything personally (so, don't get angry or hurt that she said you were mean). allowing her to express herself in your safe and loving presence is the best "tool" you can give her right now.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

I'm so glad marriages are coming back to an equilibrium. It's so hard on everyone when that conflict is there, even in the background.

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

That's very good! That means both your guards are down, and you're letting the other into your heart. I like reading this!

Yeah, it's been nice. We still get snippy with each other but it doesn't feel like such a big deal. I just hope it sticks since dh is going to be gone for 3 weeks. That's been part of our problem. It seems that as soon as we start to get things better he leaves and we have to start all over again.

Originally Posted by akind1 

I like it, but it's pricey to do often.

Man, you aren't kidding! Our dinner last night was over $300! I had no idea it was going to cost that much. It makes sense, though, considering it was for 7 people, but we even got a 20% military discount. I didn't even like it that much. There's no way I would consider that food worth that much. I would have much rather eaten at Ruth's Chris steakhouse for that price. Oh well, it was a new experience.

E and K brought home one of the empty lobster tail shells. hehe

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

So did I the night I went in to labor with Ava! I had been having back pain all afternoon but I thought it was from cleaning all day. I laid down to rest but all I could think was "I need to go to the grocery store. NOW!" So I went and bought a week's worth of groceries and while I was shopping, I noticed I was having contractions. I finished shopping, loaded everything in the car, drove home, unloaded AND PUT AWAY all the groceries and then decided I really was in labor.

I remember that! You kept saying you didn't think you were really in labor. I kind of did the same thing, although I didn't go anywhere. I sat around my house half the day thinking, "Hm, those feel like real contractions but I can't possibly really be in labor." I finally said to my mom, "What do you think about this?" She said that is my line that signals to her that I'm in labor but she still has to make me call my midwives because I don't believe her.

D is driving me crazy today! He won't leave me alone and he wants to do the same thing over and over and over. I get that he's working on his fine motor skills but how many times can we unplug and plug the Kindle charger? He unplugs it, then cries when he can't get it plugged back in and shoves it in my face over and over and over. Gah! When I get fed up and refuse to do it again, he climbs in my lap and wants to nurse but he doesn't really want to nurse because he only does it for a second and then he's off to something else. I just want a minute!

I finally got one by giving him some yogurt to eat. That's another thing. He seriously needs to start talking or signing more because he constantly seems to want something from the kitchen but can't tell me exactly what it is. I have to go through everything in the cabinet and the fridge trying to figure out what it is that he wants.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 


isn't there info in that peaceful parenting book? empathy is the best thing you can give her as long as you don't give it with the expectation that she will suddenly stop being upset. her response may initially be to get even more upset but that is actually a good thing. it means she feels safe to express herself with you. if you can't do anything else, just sit with her while she screams and cries. don't take anything personally (so, don't get angry or hurt that she said you were mean). allowing her to express herself in your safe and loving presence is the best "tool" you can give her right now.

ok b/c this is what I do.  I wish I could head it off before it gets out of control tho!  I wish I could prevent it by keeping her happy.  I think that's what I mean more.  I don't want her to get SO upset over something.  Like me leaving the room, or having to fold dipes before playing with her.  I wish I could say, "I would LOVE to play dolls with you, right after I'm done here." and have her say, "Ok mom!" and be able to wait.  It's unrealistic I know.  I just wish it were plausible!

i also would love for her to understand and comply the first time I ask her to do something.  Stop jumping on the bed, I'm trying to make it.  Stop jumping.  Please, get down now.  *still jumping* and I have to remove her physically from the bed, and she collapses/melts/screams at me.

I guess one could say, why does the bed need to be made right then?  Why push it?  Why not wait until she is done jumping to make the bed?  But -- I have a routine to my chores and if I don't do them when I plan, they usually don't get done and that frustrates ME b/c things are chaotic.