March 2013 Rockstar Mamas Thread - Page 6

[lyterae]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Lyterae, congrats! I was terrified through most of my pregnancy with Ava because of my miscarriage. We didn't tell anyone IRL until 15 weeks including the kids.

Thanks Annie! Between the excitement and the nervousness my poor stomach is in knots.

Originally Posted by akind1 

Theo is back at birthweight and I am back in pre pregnancy jeans! Woot!

 Congratulations on both accounts! :)

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

lyterae ~ Congratulations! Do you know how far along you are? I know that terrified feeling. Sticky vibes your way.

Not even 4 weeks yet (downside to charting maybe?)

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Oh exciting lyterae!  Sending sticky vibes!!  Idk if you do u/s, but we waited until the first u/s with N (so around 8 weeks?) to tell family.  With Finn we waited until 6 weeks only (and I had only heard the hb once) b/c I was outed on thanksgiving for not drinking wine.  It's such a personal decision.  You know Becca best.  You know yourself best.  You can just feel it out and make that decision when it feels right for you.  There is no right answer.

re:religion I just don't know it's necessary to explain much other than the basics to the kids since we aren't religious at all.  N and I have been having good talks lately about it.  She was asking why ppl go to church and what they do there, and after i explained it she said she wanted to go someday.  I said that's totally fine if she chooses to do that.  She asked if I would go with her, and I said I might, but I don't think I'd enjoy it much b/c it's just not what I personally believe.  That I've already been many times and it didn't feel right to me.  But she's open to make that choice and see.  

Just lots of really good talks with her lately.  She's really having some deep thoughts, especially about life and death.  

I suppose I just feel odd b/c ppl are starting to do easter things and then ask why I'm not explaining the holiday, and passover, and all that.  Do I feel I should?  No.  But I just wanted opinions b/c I wonder if it's something I'm ...idk....obligated to explain?  Does that make sense?

 We opted to go ahead and tell Becca though we aren't making it public yet. We've decided we'd like to celebrate it and be excited with our friends and family regardless of how long the baby  will be with us. Though obviously we are hoping for a sticky baby! We won't see the midwife until 12 weeks and based on previous experiences I will be showing well before then.

With Nora and holidays/celebrations I would tell her what they are celebrating and why and explain why your family does or does not. So I don't think you're obligated to explain to her, but at the same time if she's asking quesitons why wouldn't you? Becca and I still have similiar conversations and for a long time it was very straightforward, we don't do x because of y. She'd say okay and wander off to play again. It was never a big deal to her, except Halloween beecause she wanted candy.

[Baby_Cakes]

good point Lyterae.  When she brings it up we do talk.  Maybe I wasn't clear.  I meant bring it up on my own as a lesson or something, not just discuss as matter of factly.  

MW - well, we have a church at the end of our street that we pass often, and we play in the field.  So she sees ppl come and go all the time so that's where that came from.  

And we do secular easter so I'm ok with her doing easter at school.  We do the bunny and the baskets.  

I hear you on the subtle messages in schools.  But that's part of the deal when you go to school.  I don't think it's wrong or bad to be exposed to other people's beliefs, nor do I think it's wrong for her to have diff beliefs than I do/we do.  

Also not too long ago she mentioned to me she was going to buy me a plus necklace.  I was so confused, plus necklace?  And she said, yeah, like grandma has and uncle scott has.  I said OH a cross!?  So that became a discussion on oh man, everything. jesus, what people believe, how people show what they believe, what I don't believe, etc...

They're just conversations.  Idk.  But these are the moments that are forming her beliefs.  So.  It's a lot to figure out!

[lyterae]

Sorry Carrie I misunderstood, I don't think it needs to be something that is "taught" more of something that is explained along the way? When Becca was in school though we would make it a point to try to explain the holidays/events as they were coming up so that we were the first ones to give her the ideas/concepts to absorb. During a teaching years ago a man explained children's brains as sponges and if we fill them up with knowledge when they are thrown other information it can't absorb because the sponge is already full with good information. Not a perfect reiteration but that's the basic idea.

[Baby_Cakes]

No I get it.  You're right.  The 1st explanation is the one that sticks with them.  Which is why I'm tryng to choose my words and criticisms carefully right now with these talks. 

[AnnieA]

Aaaaaannnnnd the stomach bug is back. My poor sick duck!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

I hear you on the subtle messages in schools.  But that's part of the deal when you go to school.  I don't think it's wrong or bad to be exposed to other people's beliefs, nor do I think it's wrong for her to have diff beliefs than I do/we do.

No, it's not wrong or bad to be exposed to other people's beliefs. If/when my children show an interest or ask questions, I answer them. I don't have issues with them wanting to go to church or synagog to see what it's like. My dh is Catholic and goes to mass. The boys can go whenever they want. But, a public school shouldn't be celebrating a religious holiday in any way. It's unconstitutional.

It occurred to me after I posted that Nora is in a private preschool. In that case, they can teach whatever they want as long as they aren't receiving taxpayer dollars. Some people choose to send their children to private schools because they do teach specific religious doctrine that public schools don't and that's fine. I was talking about things like my public elementary school putting on a Christmas play/pageant or having special Easter decorations. Back in those days, we had Easter and Christmas break, not spring and winter break. Totally unconstitutional.

I guess it just kind of surprises me that Nora is wanting to have these serious conversations already. I don't think anything like that has come up with E, much less K, yet. I would expect more like what lyterae described. The child asks a quick question, you give a simple answer, and she runs off to play. It surprises me that a 4 year old would be so serious or philosophical but maybe I'm reading more into it than what is really happening.

Annie ~ What the heck?! I hope everyone gets well quickly.

DH is hitting on me on the phone. I hate when he does that! He doesn't have the guts to talk to me directly and in person. He waits until he is away and then sends me stupid texts. Then he comes home and acts like nothing was ever brought up. It's creepy.

[onetwoten]

Originally Posted by lyterae 

Annie - As the others have already said trust your instincts but Ben is almost 25 months and just started talking. Colors, numbers, and letters aren't even on the radar right now. :)

I got a positive test today, slightly terrified! We haven't decided when to tell Becca/make it public.

Yes, I wanted to chime in on that. I know Tenley is the young end of the babies here, but even at her age, I hear about other babies who are making appropriate animal noises, or pointing to the right colors, or counting, and know what their names look like, etc etc. And I read that and scrunch up my face and go Really?!?!  But I can honestly say I have put NO effort into -teaching- her any of those things either. She knows that puppies are fun. She knows that her dress is pretty. She knows crackers taste good, and she can lay her head back in the bath. The rest of it? Meh... eventually she'll start picking those things up, but I'm not worried if she can't say her alphabet and count to 20 by the time she hits 3, you know? Obviously, I totally see your concern, and why getting the information is a good thing, even a really good thing, and why it would be on your radar more, because you're watching for Noonans, but honestly it doesn't sound like she's really off the development chart. She's just developing in other ways, and eventually those will slow down, and the other things will take over. A balancing act, I suppose. 

YAYYYY Lyterae! We will certainly celebrate with you!

Originally Posted by akind1 

Almost like explaining why some people choose to eat meat. It's not entirely the same, but for people like yourself that hold vegan ism as a strongly held belief, maybe that works as an analogy.

Theo is back at birthweight and I am back in pre pregnancy jeans! Woot!

I like that way of describing things, especially since it's something she'll be familiar with. This is how mama does things, but there are going to be other people out there who believe and/or do differently, and that's ok, as long as we're all respectful of one another. 

Whoot indeed!!  I'm still not really back in prepregnancy jeans. lol

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

re:religion I just don't know it's necessary to explain much other than the basics to the kids since we aren't religious at all.  N and I have been having good talks lately about it.  She was asking why ppl go to church and what they do there, and after i explained it she said she wanted to go someday.  I said that's totally fine if she chooses to do that.  She asked if I would go with her, and I said I might, but I don't think I'd enjoy it much b/c it's just not what I personally believe.  That I've already been many times and it didn't feel right to me.  But she's open to make that choice and see.  

Just lots of really good talks with her lately.  She's really having some deep thoughts, especially about life and death.  

I suppose I just feel odd b/c ppl are starting to do easter things and then ask why I'm not explaining the holiday, and passover, and all that.  Do I feel I should?  No.  But I just wanted opinions b/c I wonder if it's something I'm ...idk....obligated to explain?  Does that make sense?

I don't think it's something you're 'obligated' to explain at all. That said, it might be helpful for her to see it from an 'outside' view almost. Like- this is what we celebrate. Some people believe this story that .... etc etc. We don't believe that, but that's why some people celebrate this holiday. Here in our house we do --- eggs, and a bunny etc.  You could also go over some of the Pagan traditions too, which might help explain more about how some of the symbolism ties together, but I'd take your cue from her and see what she's interested in hearing. For her, it might be ok to just say "Some people  who are christians celebrate Easter as the day when they believe Jesus (died/rose from the dead/etc however you think you can explain it without freaking her out). We don't believe that, but it's a really fun day to celebrate spring and new life, and have the easter bunny bring us treats!" And that might be all she needs, end of story, for another year, or two years or so. You're not withholding information if you do that, you're just waiting for her to come to you with the questions before you confuse her with information she's not ready for yet. 

bah, feel like I'm talking in circles. Long day! lol

Originally Posted by lyterae 

With Nora and holidays/celebrations I would tell her what they are celebrating and why and explain why your family does or does not. So I don't think you're obligated to explain to her, but at the same time if she's asking quesitons why wouldn't you? Becca and I still have similiar conversations and for a long time it was very straightforward, we don't do x because of y. She'd say okay and wander off to play again. It was never a big deal to her, except Halloween beecause she wanted candy.

Yeah, that.  lol

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Aaaaaannnnnd the stomach bug is back. My poor sick duck!

Oh no!!  Poor Ava :(   

There's been a really really nasty bug going around here. Knock on wood we haven't gotten it yet, but so many families from my parenting group have, and it seems to be lasting an avergae of like 4-5 days of heavy puking, diahrrea, keeping almost nothing down to the point of listlessness. One of the mamas is at the point of going in to get an IV for her two year old. And it's just spreading like wildfire. I've never known this many people -this- sick at the same time!

Long day today. The leader of the babywearing meeting couldn't come because her son was one of the sickies. So another mama and I "led" the meeting, which then breaks off really quickly into basically everyone being like 'Heelp heeelp help me helppppp!" lol. I helped people with Bobas/Ergos/Becos for three hours barely stopping to take a breath. At one point I looked over and Tenley was gone, and I found her AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS! Kind of like "oops, I climbed up here, but now I don't know how to get back down to mama..." She was wlaking around the landing basically talking to herself. SMH!! 

Oh, but she's SUCH a big girl now! She was the oldest of the 'babies' there, at 15 months, and oldest after her was 2 years old, and next was 3.5 and then a couple 4 and 5 year olds. She wanted to play with them, but then kept walking over to the babies and getting smiles on her face, and reaching out to pet them, and then squealing with delight and being so happy with herself for being gentle. There were about a dozen babies ranging from 3 weeks to 5 months, and then a few between 6-9 months. She was in love! lol I told her if she starts sleeping through the night, she can have a baby. lol

[onetwoten]

^^Oh and I got sidetracked. Long day, but the point of that, was that it was SO NICE to feel like I'd helped so many people be able to carry their babies more. Several people that were trying SSCs that had only used a snugli, or most of them had only used a stretchy wrap, and they were like OH! ohhh! It feels SO good! I could wear this for hours!   <3  *heart swells*  People were leaving there SO excited to go home and buy their own carriers. Love it! Very fulfilling. 

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

I guess it just kind of surprises me that Nora is wanting to have these serious conversations already. I don't think anything like that has come up with E, much less K, yet. I would expect more like what lyterae described. The child asks a quick question, you give a simple answer, and she runs off to play. It surprises me that a 4 year old would be so serious or philosophical but maybe I'm reading more into it than what is really happening.

No you really aren't.  She's seriously having these deep thoughts and wanting to discuss them.  It's like little adult conversations.  She keeps digging and wanting more info and then gives me her own opinions on things.  

You're right she's in private school.  I see what you're saying about public doing anything holiday related.  I never thought about it that way IRT secular celebrations.  Hmm.  Food for thought.

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

I don't think it's something you're 'obligated' to explain at all. That said, it might be helpful for her to see it from an 'outside' view almost. Like- this is what we celebrate. Some people believe this story that .... etc etc. We don't believe that, but that's why some people celebrate this holiday. Here in our house we do --- eggs, and a bunny etc.  You could also go over some of the Pagan traditions too, which might help explain more about how some of the symbolism ties together, but I'd take your cue from her and see what she's interested in hearing. For her, it might be ok to just say "Some people  who are christians celebrate Easter as the day when they believe Jesus (died/rose from the dead/etc however you think you can explain it without freaking her out). We don't believe that, but it's a really fun day to celebrate spring and new life, and have the easter bunny bring us treats!" And that might be all she needs, end of story, for another year, or two years or so. You're not withholding information if you do that, you're just waiting for her to come to you with the questions before you confuse her with information she's not ready for yet. 

 She was in love! lol I told her if she starts sleeping through the night, she can have a baby. lol

I understand what you're saying.  I think I agree. I'm going to stew on it.

and hahah!  True that!!  ;-)

Originally Posted by onetwoten 

^^Oh and I got sidetracked. Long day, but the point of that, was that it was SO NICE to feel like I'd helped so many people be able to carry their babies more. Several people that were trying SSCs that had only used a snugli, or most of them had only used a stretchy wrap, and they were like OH! ohhh! It feels SO good! I could wear this for hours!   <3  *heart swells*  People were leaving there SO excited to go home and buy their own carriers. Love it! Very fulfilling. 

It's so nice to spread the SCC love isn't it?!?

AFM- I'm still not used to Finn's haircut!  He looks like such  a little boy now, and he's even acting differently which is prob just coincidence but MAN.  Just in the past week or so he's started having real tantrums and talking more than he was even last week.  It's like a switch flipped.  When he's in the throes of being pissed he WON'T SIGN.  Idk what to make of it but wasn't that part of the point of teaching sign?!   It's like he just starts screaming and demanding something but idk what (at this point I don't even know if he's hungry, tired, wants the blue car not the green one) so I start asking him with signs, "eat?"  "drink?"  "milk?" and he just gets madder and madder!  UGH.  

Also within the past week and a half/two weeks N started using the potty entirely by herself, no company, no help (tho we did stop letting her lock the door behind her, lol).  Then suddenly she had symptoms of a uti.  Sigh.  I wanted to see if her body could fight it, but after almost a week (and a call from her concerned teacher) she's on abx.  She's feeling better already and we've had more talks about correct bathroom use.  She's also, ahem, exploring her body more in private so we are having to talk about clean hands, etc.

When did she grow up?  Sigh.  Def wasn't ready for all this heavy stuff!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

No you really aren't.  She's seriously having these deep thoughts and wanting to discuss them.  It's like little adult conversations.  She keeps digging and wanting more info and then gives me her own opinions on things.

Wow! such a seriously deep thinker. i don't think i've ever had conversations like that with my young kids. death isn't even on their radar, really.

D is driving me crazy! E woke him up early from his nap and he hasn't gotten off me since. that was 4 hours ago. virtually non-stop nursing. i am not exaggerating.

[Baby_Cakes]

Oh no I hope today has been better!

I'm kind of tired of this hormone ride.  I'm thinking about trying that pill that gives you 4 periods a year.  I can always stop taking it if I feel off.  But b/w the PMS mood swings, AF, and O,  I'm not a good mom or wife right now.  Sigh.  I talked to chris about it and I'm going to stew on it a bit and see how I feel.  I never thought I would consider hormone bc again.  

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

suddenly she had symptoms of a uti.  Sigh.  I wanted to see if her body could fight it, but after almost a week (and a call from her concerned teacher) she's on abx.  She's feeling better already and we've had more talks about correct bathroom use.

What were her symptoms? I've only ever had one and that was as an adult so I'm not sure what that would look like in a child.

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

D is driving me crazy! E woke him up early from his nap and he hasn't gotten off me since. that was 4 hours ago. virtually non-stop nursing. i am not exaggerating.

Ava has been wanting more milk the past couple of days since she hasn't been feeling well. But I don't have enough to give it to her whenever she asks. And she says it in the most pitiful voice "Bottle. Bottle!" I just remind her that bottles are for sleeping times. I'm trying to increase my pumping times again to hopefully get some more milk for her. She must need it and she won't drink cow's milk. Do you think Dylan is just comfort nursing or he's actually getting/needs milk?

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

I'm kind of tired of this hormone ride.  I'm thinking about trying that pill that gives you 4 periods a year.  I can always stop taking it if I feel off.  But b/w the PMS mood swings, AF, and O,  I'm not a good mom or wife right now.  Sigh.  I talked to chris about it and I'm going to stew on it a bit and see how I feel.  I never thought I would consider hormone bc again.  

Have you considered taking a mild anti-depressant instead of hormones?

[Baby_Cakes]

Oh poor Ava. 

Actually I want it for the pregnancy prevention, too.  But you're right.  I will def think about that option - I didn't know that an antidepressant could help with pms and all that.  I don't feel depressed/anxious.  Just really bitchy/moody/angry!

So.  I have 2 good friends nursing older (2.5 and 3.5) kids.  They are making me nervous.  One in particular is practically warning me that it's awful.  But both these mamas are tandem nursing.  I know there is something else at play but she won't admit to that.  She keep saying it's his age, it's the age.  It's awful don't do it.  Sigh.  So I'm getting a little nervous.  I keep telling her that I won't have new baby milk so I just think it'll be different, and I want to see how it goes.  Idk.  I don't know anyone else besides mamas on MDC who are nothing but encouraging and say the complete opposite.  I think nursing will naturally get less and less, not ramp back up right when he's 2.5 b/c there's a new baby.  Does that make sense?  Am I being naive?

[AnnieA]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Oh poor Ava. 

Actually I want it for the pregnancy prevention, too.  But you're right.  I will def think about that option - I didn't know that an antidepressant could help with pms and all that.  I don't feel depressed/anxious.  Just really bitchy/moody/angry!

So.  I have 2 good friends nursing older (2.5 and 3.5) kids.  They are making me nervous.  One in particular is practically warning me that it's awful.  But both these mamas are tandem nursing.  I know there is something else at play but she won't admit to that.  She keep saying it's his age, it's the age.  It's awful don't do it.  Sigh.  So I'm getting a little nervous.  I keep telling her that I won't have new baby milk so I just think it'll be different, and I want to see how it goes.  Idk.  I don't know anyone else besides mamas on MDC who are nothing but encouraging and say the complete opposite.  I think nursing will naturally get less and less, not ramp back up right when he's 2.5 b/c there's a new baby.  Does that make sense?  Am I being naive?

I would be hesitant to add hormones to the mix but that's mostly because for me, hormones make my PMS symptoms worse.

I would think that the nursing sessions would decrease as he gets older and the milk goes away. Before Ava got the first round of stomach bug, she had almost completely stopped with bottles. Then she got sick and all she wanted was mama milk and now she asks for it a lot. But definitely doesn't want cow's milk or almond milk.

[Baby_Cakes]

That's what I think too!  I just have no idea what to expect.  I've only heard such good things, tantrum tamer, etc.  She fires back that she can't possibly nurse every tantrum.  It's so often.  I'm like scratching my head!

Oh, I forgot to elaborate on Nora's UTI.  She was running to the potty frequently.  At one point it was every 10 min, and usually nothing but a drip would come out, sometimes nothing at all.  I was worried but she said it didn't burn or hurt, and that's what I associate with an infection.  The next day she seemed fine so I thought maybe it was b/c we'd been stuck home all day and she was bored.  Then the next day her teacher called me concerned b/c she was asking to go often.  So, I did a test strip when she got home and it was blaring positive.  Ran her to the dr and they confirmed it.  Giving her abx and probiotics b/c man, her toots are room clearers, poor girl.  

[Baby_Cakes]

The seasonale/seasonique brand pills are marketed as the no period no pms pill.  

http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/features/new-no-period-no-pms-birth-control-pills

[MarineWife]

You can get home test strips for UTIs? I was worried E had one last week. He started complaining that it tickled when he peed but said it didn't burn or hurt. That when on for 2 or 3 days and then he said it had started to sting. But the next day he said it wasn't bothering him at all anymore. I told him to drink more water and he said he thought that was the problem, he hadn't been drinking enough.

I think D was nursing just for comfort. He was getting some milk, of course, but he didn't need it.

[MarineWife]

I nursed E until he was almost 3 years old and Kellen until he was a little over 3. It wasn't horrible at all. I think by that time they only nursed maybe 3 times a day. I was even able to go away for a weekend when E was 2.5 without incident. DH said he was fine while I was gone and he went right back to nursing when I got back.

I did wean both of them but not because I didn't want to nurse anymore. I weaned E because I was pregnant with K and it hurt when he nursed. I weaned K because I was trying to get pregnant and kept miscarrying. I can imagine tandem nursing would feel overwhelming and like you were doing nothing but nursing. You have the option at any time to wean so I wouldn't worry about it. Do what you want and just wait to see how it feels for you. How long did you nurse Nora?

[Baby_Cakes]

That's kind of how I feel.  If it gets overwhelming I'm perfectly ok reevaluting.  

Nora nursed until she was 25 months.  I did wean her b/c I was having trouble getting pg, idk if you guys remember.  It was a gut wrenching decision, even though it was easy and effortless.  And she was fine.  And I was fine.  But this time I want to go longer if we are both happy.  

And yes you can get the uti strips at walgreens, near the pg tests and yeast infection treatments! 

[AnnieA]

I would definitely research those more before taking them. On the drugs.com site for Seasonale, it says not to use it if you are nursing. http://www.drugs.com/seasonale.html