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March 2013 Rockstar Mamas Thread - Page 2

post #21 of 188

Naked works for us - but I don't care if he is naked much. yes, I have to work on the whole clothes thing, and it adds a step. But oh well. whatever works for everyone. Bribery works really well here. He finally went at MIL's house. I think she just doesn't understand bribery. This is how it went down. Gabe wanted Skittles. FIL asked if he could have skittles. It's mid afternoon and he hasn't gone since before church. I said, Gabe, do you need to go potty? Gabe: NO! Me: you can have skittles now if you go pee in potty. Otherwise, you wait until after dinner. (FIL btw looks shocked that I would say no. seriously, you don't have to give in) Gabe: hokay mommy, granddaddy go with me? and he goes with FIL and pees in potty. TaDa. Not hard.

 

I am not a huge fan of bribery, but he seriously has completely refused to use the toilet over there. I have to give them something to work with. I explained to MIL that maybe just needs to that. because they offer and push and yadayada (which I think in turn makes him more obstinate and less likely to go - just his personality). She's like, I guess I need to get something. I said "you have Skittles! chocolate covered oreos! jelly beans!" - a house full of crap to bribe with. pick something.

 

BTW: at home he doesn't need bribes anymore. once we switched to naked vs trainers, and put the potty chair in the living room, he just goes when he needs to, only needs some prompting upon wake up in the morning and from nap.

 

MW: $300 for the melting pot sounds about right. It's alot for food you cook yourself. but you are paying for the experience, I guess.

 

I'm really glad you are at a better place in your marriage.

 

AFM: OB this morning was uneventful. I think he might have tried to do a sweep (seriously uncomfortable cervical check, and normally they don't bother me) and I've had some cramping and lower back pain since, but nothing else exciting. I go back Friday (40+2) for a BP check if he's not arrived yet. I've not decided if I want to spend any more time on the breast pump or not. It's hard to find a good time for that. I believe it does help get contractions in a pattern and stuff, which is why I'm even trying it. But it's kind of a PITA. 

post #22 of 188

Subbing :)

 

 

 

Katrina - Praying he comes soon! Were your others early/late?

post #23 of 188
Thread Starter 
Yeah, I was going to ask if those things need to get done right then. They really don't, regardless of how you feel about it. That means you are creating the situation by insisting on doing things your way. I'm not saying that is wrong. There really is no right or wrong. That is just how it is.

It is impossible to keep your kids happy all the time. Maybe you worry about it too much or think anything that doesn't go sweetly or according to the latest book you just read as a failure on your part. It's not. Just because everything doesn't always go as planned doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You can choose to continue to do things your way and have to deal with the metldowns more often (maybe) or you can try changing what you do to see if that helps.

K tells me every night that I'm mean. Then he asks me every morning why I am mean to him at night. I tell him I'm not trying to, nor do I want to, be mean, but when we go to bed it's late and I'm tired and I want everyone to be quiet and still so that D will go to sleep as quickly as possible so he will stop crawling and clawing and nursing on me. Every day K says he's sorry but every night he jumps and squirms all over the bedroom and is very loud so every night he gets mad at me again and says I'm mean. That's going to happen sometimes. shrug.gif
post #24 of 188
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

MW: $300 for the melting pot sounds about right. It's alot for food you cook yourself. but you are paying for the experience, I guess.

Seriously! We were joking about what a scam it is. We are paying a crap ton to cook our own food. lol.gif

The chocolate desserts were good and the cheese dips were ok but the entrees weren't so great, at least to me. We also paid an extra $24 for some balloons, a photo and some chocolates for R to take home. Kind of silly but it's a special occasion so wth? It sure is a good thing we don't have a mortgage payment this month!
post #25 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

 

I don't want her to get SO upset over something.  Like me leaving the room, or having to fold dipes before playing with her.  I wish I could say, "I would LOVE to play dolls with you, right after I'm done here." and have her say, "Ok mom!" and be able to wait.  It's unrealistic I know.  I just wish it were plausible!

I'm saying this as gently as possible...you've gotta let go of that wish. That may happen when N is like 12 or 13 but honestly, that's just not her. That's not the kid you got in the genetic lottery. Wishing she wasn't so emphatic about getting HER needs met is like wishing she had curly hair instead of straight. N's personality is strong. She's going to make sure she doesn't get overlooked. That's a huge pain in the butt as her caregiver because you have things that you need to get done too. But being strongwilled isn't a character flaw. It's actually a pretty positive thing overall. So don't wish it away. There's always going to be stuff that needs to be done. I'm really working on practicing what I preach. If one of the kids asks me to do something with them or invites me to play, I try my hardest to say yes. Unless I need to like keep food from catching fire and burning the house down or something like that. I'm working on keeping my cleaning and straightening to when people are asleep. Yes, my house is a mess. Yes, I'd feel a lot better if my house weren't a mess. But I'm the grownup and capable of handling my emotions better than the kids are. So I try to deal. Or make a game out of picking stuff up.

post #26 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

 

MW: $300 for the melting pot sounds about right. It's alot for food you cook yourself. but you are paying for the experience, I guess.


AFM: OB this morning was uneventful. I think he might have tried to do a sweep (seriously uncomfortable cervical check, and normally they don't bother me) and I've had some cramping and lower back pain since, but nothing else exciting. I go back Friday (40+2) for a BP check if he's not arrived yet. I've not decided if I want to spend any more time on the breast pump or not. It's hard to find a good time for that. I believe it does help get contractions in a pattern and stuff, which is why I'm even trying it. But it's kind of a PITA. 

 

I'd probably pass out if someone brought a $300 bill to me! No wonder I've avoided that place!

 

If you do breastpump time, I'd probably suggest early in the morning after you've had some rest. Don't want to get ctx going late at night and then be that much more tired through labor.

post #27 of 188
Yeah, I spent some time Friday morning and some Sunday morning on the pump. Norah - I was silly and did it late at night. Water broke at 12:30 am.

Carrie: we don't make beds. They have sheets, of course, but not really "made" - I of course have things that "need" to be done. I WAH. But I work most successfully if the kids are happy first. Maybe a timer? Say, you have 5 minutes to jump/play on bed, but then we need to do X?
post #28 of 188
Oh: lyterae: both my others were rather late. A c section at 41+6 and a VBAC at the same gestation.
post #29 of 188
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

I'm saying this as gently as possible...you've gotta let go of that wish. That may happen when N is like 12 or 13 but honestly, that's just not her. That's not the kid you got in the genetic lottery. Wishing she wasn't so emphatic about getting HER needs met is like wishing she had curly hair instead of straight. N's personality is strong. She's going to make sure she doesn't get overlooked. That's a huge pain in the butt as her caregiver because you have things that you need to get done too. But being strongwilled isn't a character flaw. It's actually a pretty positive thing overall. So don't wish it away. There's always going to be stuff that needs to be done. I'm really working on practicing what I preach. If one of the kids asks me to do something with them or invites me to play, I try my hardest to say yes. Unless I need to like keep food from catching fire and burning the house down or something like that. I'm working on keeping my cleaning and straightening to when people are asleep. Yes, my house is a mess. Yes, I'd feel a lot better if my house weren't a mess. But I'm the grownup and capable of handling my emotions better than the kids are. So I try to deal. Or make a game out of picking stuff up.

So well said! ITA with all of it.
post #30 of 188

So, I've been stewing over this privately for a few days, but I need to wah wah wah vent. Rob got a new job, right? And he called his parents and told them, and they basically did the whole "oh, well, that's nice." -- change subject. They've never been very supportive of his paramedic career, treating like some whim, or like it was something he should not be proud of at all. So, no, he doesn't talk to them about it alot, since he always just ends up hanging up feeling down on himself and like what he chose isn't good enough. Why would he -want- to talk to them about it?  Anywhoooo, his mom apparently kept calling his sister Ashleigh and digging for details about the job and the training etc etc. (but like even stupid stuff like... whether he was going to get paid for the 6 weeks of training, did he know? has he checked??? and why didn't he stay at rona until he knows for sure the job is going to keep him, and just, ridiculous questions, because HELLO, he's an ADULT who runs his own life. He doesn't need her making sure that he thought things through and can still pay the bills.). Anyways, so finally Ash asked why his mom didn't just call HIM and ask HIM about the job that he's so proud of getting, and could use some support about.  Her response? "I don't want to call the house when Jenine is home."

 

W. 

T. 

F. 

 

!!!

 

Rob of course was livid when Ash told hiim that, as was I, when he told me. But the most bewildering part is, is that I had no idea my MIL and I had any issues. Like really, we've got (or I thought we had...) a decent relationship for being MIL/DIL. She's expressed previously, like when he was still in high school, that she thought there were better people for him, but in the past 6-7 years I thought we had a good, though not close or very warm, relationship.  Now I find out that she's avoiding calling the effing house when I'm home??? WTF!

 

 

Ugh. In other bad mama news-- I ran outside to start the car today to warm it up, and when I went to go back into the house, the door was locked. Tenley was still obviously in the house *cue freakout!!* And then I realized what a freaking ghost town our neighborhood is during the day! I went to 6 houses before someone finally answered at the 7th. There wasn't a single car parked on the street. I thought I was going to have to run to the school to get access to a phone to call someone. We're supposed to have a spare key in the BBQ, so I jumped through the snow (it's literally 4+ feet high in the backyard) and dug out the edge of the BBQ, only to find there was no key in there. And we used to be able to get in the basement windows, but we replaced them last year, so I'd have to break them now to get in. *head explode* So I finally got that neighbor to open the door, borrowed his phone and called my in laws, thankfully, my FIL was home, and they have a spare key, but he didn't have a vehicle at home, and he can't walk this far (it's like 3 blocks, which is really close luckily, but too far for him to walk for his health). So I ran back to my car, drove the 3 blocks, grabbed the keys, and then sprinted up the sidewalk to the door, and thank God it was the right key (he wasn't 100% sure it was...)  Scariest moments of my life!! I knew she was safe inside, all the bedroom and bathroom doors were closed, the dog was in his crate already, everything dangerous was out of reach, but you can't guarantee accidents won't happen, her falling, or climbing on the couch and slipping, etc. I kept running to the living room window and making faces at her and talking to her, and then I'd run to the next house, rinse and repeat. LOL. She thought it was so funny-- hey!!!! Mama is outside.. look at her, she's so funny. lol. Me? Not so fun!

 

Blah. SO it was a heck of a day. Once I finally got in the house, we cuddled for several minutes, and then did end up getting in the car and going to Ikea as planned. She had a blast. We ate lunch and she played in the little area in the cafeteria, and then we went and looked in the kids section, she tried out all the toys and kids chairs, and then walked around a bit, and then I put her on my back and she fell asleep in the Boba for about 45 minutes, and woke up just as I was finishing up my shopping. I had a $50 gc to spend, so I picked out a few things.  Then we went to Carters and bought a dress for Easter and a plain white cardigan. It felt SO weird to go buy things new and at full price, because I pretty much never do, but, well, she's 15 months and we've never attended an event with her in a dress that -we- bought her, and I really wanted something finally that was hers and just hers. And the cardigan has been sorely needed for months. I kept wanting one and looking at used stores, and sale racks. The only cardigan she's had was a brown one, which matches with exactly nothing she owns. lol.    And then she picked out new pjs with puppies on them. She was SO proud of them :)

 

ok time for bed. Thanks for letting me vent guys. 

post #31 of 188

OMG. JJ, I would have freaked the EFF out. Gah! Getting locked out of the house, even with Ava, is one of my recurring "bad thoughts". And that crap with your MIL is just stupid. Sorry she's being a pain.

 

 

Ugh, I thought we were getting back to a good sleep rhythm and then DH calls me this evening while I was at work and said "Oh Ava just woke up from a nap"...it's freaking 8:30 PM at night. WTF? So guess it will be another late morning for us tomorrow. Baby_Cakes, I know you'll hate me for saying this but I really hate when she sleeps until 11 AM. Our whole morning is gone and we can't go do anything fun. If she wakes up at 8 AM, then we can go have an adventure before lunch, she gets a decent nap and then I take her wherever she needs to go so I can go to work. I'm trying to rearrange some of my work schedule so I will be home a few afternoons and not have to rely on a sitter as much. Hopefully that will cut down on these "naps" that are starting at 5:30 PM in the car on the way home. irked.gif

post #32 of 188

Seriously. I'm sure I looked like the crazed person  out of a movie, running from house to house frantically with a murderer on their trail. I was hyperventilating and practically crying by the time that guy opened the door. I was two steps away from calling 911. Trying to decide if I was better off to try ot break in the door, or smash the window in her room. 

 

Oh *hugs* Lauri. That sucks :( It's like it gets dangled in front of you, and then snatched away.  Is this a second nap, or just a very late first nap? We're transitioning Ten from two to one naps, but whenever DH is home, he still gives her a second nap, even if it's super late, just because it's easier to have some free time once she's sleeping for a bit. It bugs me. But I think he just doesn't know what else to do. If it's your DH putting her down for a second late nap, maybe he just needs more ideas for ways to occupy her until bedtime? 

post #33 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by onetwoten View Post
Oh *hugs* Lauri. That sucks :( It's like it gets dangled in front of you, and then snatched away.  Is this a second nap, or just a very late first nap? We're transitioning Ten from two to one naps, but whenever DH is home, he still gives her a second nap, even if it's super late, just because it's easier to have some free time once she's sleeping for a bit. It bugs me. But I think he just doesn't know what else to do. If it's your DH putting her down for a second late nap, maybe he just needs more ideas for ways to occupy her until bedtime? 

She's hypnotized by the car which is usually a good thing, one of the only ways I can get her to fall asleep quickly when she's maxed out but when DH is picking her up past 5 PM and then driving 20-30 mins home, she falls asleep. I would just try to wake her back up once home but he lets her sleep. I know it's easier than dealing with a whiny, clingy Ava but geez. She's probably still going to be awake when I get home at 12:30 AM. That happened the other night. I walked in the door and DH was fast asleep in the bed. Ava was sitting next to his head watching Thomas the Train. I didn't get her to sleep until 2 AM. splat.gif

post #34 of 188
greensad.gif ugh. I'd be calling every day at the time you know they get home and instructin him to wake her up. Easier said than done I know though
post #35 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

It is impossible to keep your kids happy all the time. Maybe you worry about it too much or think anything that doesn't go sweetly or according to the latest book you just read as a failure on your part. It's not. Just because everything doesn't always go as planned doesn't mean you did anything wrong. 

 

HUGE YES!  Oh you hit the nail on the head.  I feel like I'm not doing something right and it's my fault.  Thanks for this. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

I'm saying this as gently as possible...you've gotta let go of that wish. That may happen when N is like 12 or 13 but honestly, that's just not her. That's not the kid you got in the genetic lottery. Wishing she wasn't so emphatic about getting HER needs met is like wishing she had curly hair instead of straight. N's personality is strong. She's going to make sure she doesn't get overlooked. That's a huge pain in the butt as her caregiver because you have things that you need to get done too. But being strongwilled isn't a character flaw. It's actually a pretty positive thing overall. So don't wish it away. There's always going to be stuff that needs to be done. I'm really working on practicing what I preach. If one of the kids asks me to do something with them or invites me to play, I try my hardest to say yes. Unless I need to like keep food from catching fire and burning the house down or something like that. I'm working on keeping my cleaning and straightening to when people are asleep. Yes, my house is a mess. Yes, I'd feel a lot better if my house weren't a mess. But I'm the grownup and capable of handling my emotions better than the kids are. So I try to deal. Or make a game out of picking stuff up.

 

I love you for this.  Thanks.  I needed to hear it!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post
Maybe a timer? Say, you have 5 minutes to jump/play on bed, but then we need to do X?

 

Love it.  Going to try it!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post
 Baby_Cakes, I know you'll hate me for saying this but I really hate when she sleeps until 11 AM. Our whole morning is gone and we can't go do anything fun. If she wakes up at 8 AM, then we can go have an adventure before lunch, she gets a decent nap and then I take her wherever she needs to go so I can go to work. I'm trying to rearrange some of my work schedule so I will be home a few afternoons and not have to rely on a sitter as much. Hopefully that will cut down on these "naps" that are starting at 5:30 PM in the car on the way home. irked.gif

 

No no no!  I agree with you 110%!  Even when Nora sleeps until 9 I'm frazzled and feel like we won't accomplish anything that day.  So -- I feel you.  You've got to get him to wake her up when he brings her inside!  Ugh.  Sorry mama. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by onetwoten View Post

greensad.gif ugh. I'd be calling every day at the time you know they get home and instructin him to wake her up. Easier said than done I know though

 

Same!

 

OmG JJ about locking yourself out!  A huge fear of mine, as well.  

You don't have a house key on your car keys?  I think that's an important and easy fix to do PRONTO so it doesn't happen again!  A house key is so easy to copy.  Do it!!

 

AFUs - Last night was rough.  Idk if you guys saw but I took Finn to get his stitches out.  They weren't overly rough or anything, but .. he got so worked up and upset (it was literally 30 seconds of holding him still) he threw up all over everyone and everything.  I mean...he was soaked, he got the nurses, he got me.  His shoes, socks.  I felt AWFUL for him.  They didn't even have them all out but I scooped him up and just hugged my poor puke covered boy, he was in hysterics.  I just felt so awful for him!  Ugh.  No words.  We cleaned everything up and then tried again.  One snip later and we were done and I held him tight, and b/c I'm awesome, I had thrown a lollipop in my bag ahead of time.  I first asked him if he wanted milk and he shook his head no.  So I said, "Lollipop?" and held it up and he smiled and clapped!  So while they cleaned his jeans for me, he sat on my lap like a rockstar sucking a lolli.  Such a big boy.  I couldn't believe he said no to nursing!  What a shock for me!  I offered 2 more times before we left and he shook his head no each time.  First time that's EVER happened.  Ever.  

 

They couldn't really get his jeans dry (I was SO grateful and thankful and just overwhelmed w/how helpful and nonchalant they were about being puked on) so I put his jacket on and he sauntered out with his light up Lightning McQueen sneakers, no pants, and hoodie, lollipop in his mouth, waving to all the nurses at the nurses station.  Oh mamas he was such a ham!  It was a sight!  He was rocking that look, for real.  winky.gif

post #36 of 188
Thread Starter 
Poor Finn! I'm sure those people are used to being puked on, though. At least it's all over now.

Annie ~ We got onto a strange schedule like that recently. D didn't nap at all on Sunday even on the hour drive to Wilmington for dinner or back at 9 pm and it still took a while to get him to settle down to sleep for the night. Yesterday, he didn't fall asleep for a nap until around 5:30. I woke him up at 7 in the hopes that he wouldn't be up past midnight. I think he did manage to fall asleep by 11:30 so not too bad. I forced myself to get up earlier than usual this morning and to get him up in the hopes he'll take an earlier nap and get back to his regular schedule.

JJ ~ That is strange about your MIL. Do you feel comfortable enough to ask her about it? On the other hand, your SIL probably shouldn't have told Rob so you saying something to your MIL might cause a bunch a problems between them. That's unfortunate that they don't seem to take his paramedic career seriously. That's a very noble and important job. I'm impressed by it. smile.gif

I was just reading that NoVA is supposed to get 4-6 inches of snow tomorrow. I'm thinking maybe I'll take the boys to visit my mother since dh will be gone. We haven't had a good snow here this year and K has been asking to go to his Gma's.
post #37 of 188

You should go!

 

What kind of car do you all drive?  I want a small SUV type thing but I can't decide what I want.  Chris basically told me today to sign up for my doula/bf courses and pick out a new car.  I feel a bit spoiled!  I like the Nissan Rogue but...he's not a huge fan of it.  Ford Edge?  Idk.  Ideas?

post #38 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

You should go!

 

What kind of car do you all drive?  I want a small SUV type thing but I can't decide what I want.  Chris basically told me today to sign up for my doula/bf courses and pick out a new car.  I feel a bit spoiled!  I like the Nissan Rogue but...he's not a huge fan of it.  Ford Edge?  Idk.  Ideas?


Wow! That's so awesome! I love minivans. I like our Volvo wagon but getting kids in and out of carseats in anything other than a minivan stinks. I drove an SUV for the weekend when I was nannying a few weeks ago and getting Ava in and out of that thing just about killed me. I'd look at an Odyssey or Sienna if I had the option. My favorite is the 06-08 Siennas with the optional 8th seat. Love those!

post #39 of 188

Oh no.  I'm not a minivan person.  Sorry!  I def want either an SUV/crossover or a wagon.  Not feeling the minivan love at all!  Ha!

post #40 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

Oh no.  I'm not a minivan person.  Sorry!  I def want either an SUV/crossover or a wagon.  Not feeling the minivan love at all!  Ha!


Put the carseats in one and drive it for an afternoon. Trust me. Sliding power doors, ability to carry the kids' friends when they get a bit older. Life changing!

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