March 2013 Rockstar Mamas Thread - Page 3

[onetwoten]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

OmG JJ about locking yourself out!  A huge fear of mine, as well.  

You don't have a house key on your car keys?  I think that's an important and easy fix to do PRONTO so it doesn't happen again!  A house key is so easy to copy.  Do it!!

Normally yes! Our car key and my house keys are on the same ring and never come off. BUT-- I'm driving my fathers car right now, which doesn't have our house keys! lol. And like i said there's normally a spare key outside, but I think last time we used it, we didn't take it back outside!

And what an ordeal with Finn! Such a big boy though! I can just picture him marching out of there pants-less!

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

JJ ~ That is strange about your MIL. Do you feel comfortable enough to ask her about it? On the other hand, your SIL probably shouldn't have told Rob so you saying something to your MIL might cause a bunch a problems between them. That's unfortunate that they don't seem to take his paramedic career seriously. That's a very noble and important job. I'm impressed by it.
 

I think that hits the nail on the head-- I can't really approach her about it, without admitting the SIL told us when she obviously wasn't supposed to. Regardless, I definitely don't feel confident enough to confront her baout it. She's such a proper "appearances are everything" type woman, and she doesn't -do- conflict- at all. It would be THE MOST awkward thing in the world. 

His mother has been disappointed ever since he dropped out of university and didn't go to business school (like he's you know, NEVER wanted to do... it's not like it was a shock!)

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

What kind of car do you all drive?  I want a small SUV type thing but I can't decide what I want.  Chris basically told me today to sign up for my doula/bf courses and pick out a new car.  I feel a bit spoiled!  I like the Nissan Rogue but...he's not a huge fan of it.  Ford Edge?  Idk.  Ideas?

We're totally doing this right now. We're trying to decide on a second car, but we can't even decide whether we want newish (2011 or 2012, with a warranty, bought from  dealership), or used, something around $5000 with no warranty (but 1/3 of the original price).  Anyways... based on our price range, and insane need to have something with great gas mileage-- my top picks are boring-- a Honda Civic, Toyota Corolla, Ford Focus. Maybe A Chevy Cruze. 

I had a focus wagon previously (old, it was in 2004/05 and it was a 2000 Focus, and I -loved- it. The way it felt, the way it drove. It just... felt good, if that makes sense. So there's a good chance we'll buy one again, but not quite sure yet. 

If price wasn't as much a factor, I'd go with a Ford Escape Hybrid I think. Although I will admit I haven't done all the research- that's more of a gut and looks decision. 

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Put the carseats in one and drive it for an afternoon. Trust me. Sliding power doors, ability to carry the kids' friends when they get a bit older. Life changing!

Hahaha. I'm totally with you. I would -love- a minivan, but I can't justify the gas mileage right now, when we could easily fit in a car. Also, because most vans, the driver's seat isn't height adjustable, Rob tends to have trouble with them- he ends up almost looking into the headliner, so it's not much fun for him to drive!! But I love the idea of the cargo space, and the room inside for getting ready etc (ie to take Tebley out of her seat and get her in the carrier or put a thick jacket on, etc, without having to do it standing outside the car. And the cargo space! And just extra room for transporting people as Lauri said. And vans have a lot of features now!  But I do get that it takes a lot to get over the OMG it's a soccer mom van aspect. lol

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

Put the carseats in one and drive it for an afternoon. Trust me. Sliding power doors, ability to carry the kids' friends when they get a bit older. Life changing!

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Oh no.  I'm not a minivan person.  Sorry!  I def want either an SUV/crossover or a wagon.  Not feeling the minivan love at all!  Ha!

I was not a minivan person, either. I had a Subaru Tribeca, a midsized SUV with optional seating for 7. I thought it would be perfect for 5 of us but it was awful! Once I got the carseats in there wasn't room for anyone or anything else in the back. I broke down and got a Toyota Sienna when I got pg between D and K. It is so much easier, roomier and just works better for a family. I love the power sliding doors (that is before someone lost my remote control). It is so nice to have the doors open so you can get everyone and everything in without fumbling with door handles. The fold down split third row is great when I need lots of room in the back. Gas mileage is comparable to my Tribeca but that was better than other SUVs at the time I bought it.

I don't even know what new vehicles are out. I like the Volvo wagon but it doesn't work well with child safety seats.

[akind1]

MW: totally go see some snow! I'd love to!

AFM: 40 weeks today, happy due date - I'm not really surprised to see this day and still be pregnant. I wish I had some more signs of imminent labor, but I'm stuck in prodromal purgatory. As usual. *sigh* I go back to the OB friday for a BP check - not even seeing a doctor that day, I don't think, and then, if I'm still pregnant next week, I imagine it'll be a BPP scheduled and possibly induction - they'll only induce a VBAC with AROM. I so hope we don't get to that. I'm ready. My house is a wreck, but I. do. not. care.

I never wanted a minivan. But after looking at our options, it just made the most sense. We now have a 2006 Honda Odessy, and I LOVE it. Except for filling up at the gas pump and parking downtown.

I am pretty brand loyal, I'd go with Honda or Toyota - I love every car I've had made by either. They cost more up front perhaps, but great gas milage, low maintance, and they hold value really, really, well. My mom has Toyota Venza, and it's very comfortable and roomy, but the milage isn't fantastic. (they seriously are that older couple in the venza commercials. it cracks me up). I like the Honda CR-V. The only vehicle I'd totally steer you away from is the Element. Carseats in that are AWFUL.

JJ - locking yourself out/Tenly in must have been horrifying -so glad everything worked out!

[Baby_Cakes]

Wow I can't believe how gung ho y'all are about minivans!  LOL!  They aren't even on my radar.  Nope, just not going to happen.    Plus it's going to be a lease, so it's not like we'll have it forever for when the kids are older and have more friends.  So I can always reevaluate if things are really not working out.  Hopefully we'll have it for 3 years, just about when Finn would be hitting booster age/size.

I agree with 3 littles it makes sense, Kat.  I really do!

Does anyone know why someone would drive a minivan still when their kids are all grown and out of the house practically?  chris's aunt just bought a new one and her kids are 26, 23, and 18.  LOL.  We kind of had a chuckle, Chris and I, when she announced she got a new van.  haha.

Chris went into NYC today, he'll be home late.  

What else...

Come on baby Theo!!  Happy Due Date to you, Kat!  I'm so sorry about the prodromal.  Sigh.  Just shit or get off the pot, body.  I hear you.  Hugs!!!  Have some extra ice cream while you're stuck waiting. 

[onetwoten]

They're nice to have for hauling stuff etc too. ANd they actually drive fairly well, smooth ride. My in laws bought one, but theirs is primarily because they transport the grandkids around. I can't see myself getting one with grown kids that wouldn't be riding in it very often!

Feeling so tired today. Our babysitter called us yesterday at 730am and told us she had a massive puking-every-10-minutes-flu, but it was ok, we could still bring Tenley, she just wanted us to know. Thankfully, we had a massive snow dump, so I texted my sister, and she was actually planning on staying home from work anyways, so she came over and watched Ten. Which was a huge lifesaver, but also stressful because the house was =not= in a shape I would have wanted to invite people over, and she's never spent that much time with Tenley before, so I was worried about them all day long! 

Anyways, Today is my Friday, and then I'm off Thurs-Sun at least, so I can clean and then relax. 

*hugs* Kat. We're all thinking of you!

[MarineWife]

Kat ~ 40 weeks! Yay! Start sleeping as much as you can.

My counselor asked me yesterday what I would do if I had no responsibilities (i.e. kids and a dh) and could do anything I wanted. I said I'd do nothing.

My uncle loves his minivans even though his two kids are grown and out of the house. He even rents minivans when he goes on vacation. I wouldn't want a minivan if I didn't have kids, although I'd probably still keep one if I was driving grandkids around regularly. I think like JJ said they are nice for hauling stuff but get better gas mileage than SUVs (which really are a waste of space, gas and money). I think if you are going to stick with only two kids and don't need a lot of room for hauling anything, a crossover like a CR-V would probably work. I would go with the smallest thing I could get away with. 3+ kids and a minivan is really the only practical vehicle to have, especially with child safety seats.

I dream of the day when I can drive something other than a minivan. I have no idea what, though. I'll probably have a minivan until I'm too old to drive at this point. Once the kids are out of child safety seats, I'll still need seating for at least 7 carting them and their friends around. A minivan may not even be enough. That Tribeca I had was a major pita when R wanted me to take him and his friends somewhere. The teenagers had to climb in through the back hatch and sit with their knees in their ears. Then when they are grown and going off to college or moving out, I'll need space for helping them move their stuff and drive them and their friends to and from school or whatever. Then it will be time for grandkids and child safety seats again. When I'm 50 I'll have my minivan and my Harley. hehe

JJ ~ Family shouldn't care about a messy house. They are company. They are family. You can always tell her she's welcome to pick up/clean if it makes her uncomfortable.

I'm running out of motivation to go to my mom's. The idea of doing all the packing and driving does not seem like fun. I'm tired. Maybe if I write out a list of what we need, it won't seem so bad.

[onetwoten]

haha she did actually start cleaning up. The dishwasher was pull but hadn't been run yet, so the kitchen counter was filled with dirty dishes too. She washed and dried them all. 

I moreso was worried about general 'our' stuff. She had a bad habit of being a snoop when she was little, so I like to have anything she shouldn't see put away, and we didn't get that chance. And then yeah, stuff like dirty underwear, and diapers lying around, and the fact that Tenley's high chair tray was ridiculous gross and coated with food. I was like ummm... she can just eat at her little table... lol. 

Anyways, it worked out nicely though, and Ten had a great time apparently. She loves "new" people. 

MW-- I find lists like that make me more productive. It takes some of the pressure stress out of it. 

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

 When I'm 50 I'll have my minivan and my Harley. hehe
 

  hahaha I lol'ed for real!

You guys are really making me think about this minivan deal.  Damn you all!  hahaha!  

I need a shower.  I haven't taken one since Sunday.  Sigh.

Go to VA, MW!

[akind1]

I sleep as much as the other 2 let me, LOL. Norah woke up once, but she falls back asleep easily, as does Gabe (who also woke once). Once Theo is born, DH is back on night time parenting duty. He'd do it now, but I wake and respond faster (and have to get up to pee anyway).

I'll be ok . . I may try the pump again Friday morning, if nothing has happened by then.

If I didn't have 3 kids, I'd not drive a minivan. I LOVE my small cars. LOVE. I really miss my Scion XB, which can hold a crap ton of stuff if you are needing to go to IKEA, and also has plenty of people space, it just doesn't have room for both. And fabulous milage. But, it looks like minvans are my reality at the moment. The thing I really like about it, is that not only do I have room for 3 car seats, I have OPTIONS about how they go in. Right now, I have Norah in the 3rd row (Gabe didn't like it back there by himself) and Gabe and Theo in the front bucket seats. But if Theo won't be soothed by a paci - which Gabe could totally put in his mouth - and needs to be boobed, then I can move Gabe to the way back with Norah, and have an empty seat next to Theo for an adult to sit an soothe him. depends on what kind of car baby he is.

JJ: your poor normal sitter - I am glad you have other options!

minivan once kids are grown - if all the kids still visit alot, it may be handy just to have the extra seating.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by akind1 

The thing I really like about it, is that not only do I have room for 3 car seats, I have OPTIONS about how they go in.

That's a good point. My Sienna only seats 7 (I think I could get the optional 8th seat but haven't bothered to look into it). I can put all 3 kids in the 3rd row or split them up. E is even big enough now that I can put him in the front passenger if I have to.

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

  hahaha I lol'ed for real!

Well, dh has his obnoxious redneck truck and a Harley so it's my turn for something purely fun. I finally figured out why we are so broke. DH convinced me we could afford that truck because he was supposed to get promoted by last November. That didn't happen and we really can't afford the payment on it. Now he says he'll get promoted in June or July. That was before sequestration, though. Who knows when it will happen now.

[AnnieA]

MW, since you aren't already up here, I'd be hesitant to head up here now. It's supposed to be in the upper50s by the end of the week so I don't know howlong iit's going to last.

Baby_Cakes, if you are doing a lease, I don't know that I would do a minivan. Maybe. I just know how much easier life is when I have the kids in a minivan. I really loved my Golf when I had it years ago. The seats folded flat and I could fit a ton of stuff in there. I really like the Nissan Versa hatchback for the same reason.

akind1, sending baby vibes!

JJ, I know how you feel. My house is like that most of the time!

[onetwoten]

Oh yeah, I mean this is normal for us. I just normally pickup a bit when I know someone is coming over. Like not dusting or anything, but like wiping the dried milk and spaghetti off the high chair. Lol

I fit a full size deep freezer into the back of my ford focus wagon once lol I was mighty proud!

But yes on the versatility. If/when we get a can, one of the things I've seen done and am looking forward to, is taking one of the middle row captains chairs out for easy easy access and somewhere extra to drop bags, but then still having seating for three in te back and one more (the youngest) in the middle row seat.

[Baby_Cakes]

Oh chris used to drive a golf!  It was nice.

Idk. I want something bigger.  FIL has a CRV and they all complain about it (not comfy).

Haha porsche cayenne.  $811/month.  HAHAHAHA.

Any baby yet kat!?

[onetwoten]

EFFING &$&*$@ !!!!

Ok, so this is ridiculous and I'm ready to cut ties with my in laws right now.  So over the past two days, DH has "talked to" them a handful of times, which consists of bullshit like the following "oh yeah at work today--" (gets cut off) "Oh work? or do you mean your 'training'?" "uhh well yes we're training right now, but it's work... and I'm getting paid for it, so yes, I'm calling it work." "Oh ok, well it's not really work yet though, right..."  ummm ok. 

Also-- his younger sister (22, who still lives at home), calling one night to say "Mom wanted me to tell you we bought the bolts for the snowblower. ok. i don't know." and then hung up on him. Like... his mother wouldn't even call the house herself. 

Rob tried to call over there today to ask if they would watch Ten for a few hours tomorrow sometime so we could go car shopping and to ask if he could borrow their roof rake-- got ranted at about his career again, and then basically hung up on... again. 

Anyways, so the day I locked myself out of the house, I borrowed OUR spare key that we gave to them, right? That was on Monday, and I haven't had a chance to return it. Yes, I realize I should have, but we've been busy, and oh yeah, it's our spare key... 

So DH got a text just a few minutes ago from his sister.   "Can we have our key back. rake is out front against the fence."

I'm sorry, what? I -know- that you can't tell tone from a written text, but trust me, there was snark intended. WTF? It's OUR key technically. To OUR house. It's not like you've been asking for this thing back for days and weeks on end. Today if the first time they mentioned it. And it's only been three days since we got it.  And the whole "rake is out front". Rob said that we'd stop in tomorrow sometime and pick it up, since we were both off. This whole thing reeks of "No, don't stop in, we don't want to see you. We'll leave it out front so you don't have to come in or talk to us at all."  Like I'm sorry, you can't even be bothered to talk to us for 5 minutes? Or to see Tenley for a few minutes? 

Seriously, they live THREE blocks away, and the only time they see Tenley is at family birthday parties or events. We try to offer for them to come over, or us to bring her over for visits, and they always make up excused why they can't. I kept shrugging it off as just their weird personalities, but now I'm like ok, is seeing us/me really that horrible that you're not seeing your granddaughter because of it? Is that really the pathetic reason? 

Ugh. I'm just so angry at their twistedness. They've never been supportive of practically anything any of their children have done. They are toxic in so many ways I can't even get into, but we always make excused for them about how they're having trouble too, and it's hard to rework a lifetime of thought patterns etc etc. But it just seems like there's got to be a point where you freaking man up and stop being so toxic to those you love! 

la la la la. In other news-- my doula from tenley's birth messaged me today, just needed a quick vent-- her due date was Wednesday, and has had pretty much no signs of labor thusfar. Then she started prodromal labor last night, throughout today and tonight, as much as 4 minutes apart and hard, but then will totally back off to nothing, and she's only made it to 3cm and thinned. Baby is posterior and not engaged. I feel for her so much. This is her fifth labor, and she was like I don't understand!! They should FALL OUT by now! lol.  Anyways, the hardest part, is that her oldest son, who was 17 and had fairly profound mental and physical developmental problems and has been in care since he was a baby, passed away just under a month ago. So she's had to deal with the pain of that over the past month at the same time as trying to reconcile her thoughts of joy with this new baby. I can't even imagine it. And I know she was really hoping for just a very straight forward, easy labor and birth so she could avoid anything hospital/medical related and just keeping making it through one day to the next and piecing her life together again. A long drawn out and emotionally draining birth is just so not fair for her right now :(  I can't even imagine what she's really going through, but my heart just aches for her. 

[akind1]

JJ: your in laws definitely sound like cutting -ties-with worthy. How is your DH feeling about the situation?  All that would drive me bonkers.

Also: thank you for the reminder aboout your friend - it helps me to stay humble when I'm feeling a bit down to see people who need more zen than I do. She and I have the same due date :) And yes, to the prodromal hell. It comes and goes. Next time I get a good spate of time, I'm doing the breast pump again. I need him OUT. I hope she gets the birth she needs. and such hugs on the loss of her oldest. A birth and death this close together is both difficult and (can be) healing.

So obviously, nothing exciting to report here. I'm still pregnant, and should not be surprised that I am, but I had so HOPED this one would be different. *sigh*

[MarineWife]

JJ ~ Sounds like it's pretty obvious why your dh had the problems he had when he was younger. I don't know that I'd cut all ties with them. Since they are your ILs I think it's up to your dh to make that decision. However, I would distance myself from them. Don't ask them for anything anymore. Be available if/when they ever want to start acting like decent people but don't put yourself out there for them. KWIM?

Not much going on here. Day 2 with dh gone and I'm busy, busy, busy. I feel like cleaning the entire house. When he's home all I want to do is sit on the couch and knit. I guess I'd better take advantage of it.

By the way, does anyone know how clean pink mold off a refrigerator without using bleach?

[akind1]

MW: sounds like plain vinegar should do the trick: http://www.ehow.com/how_6389251_clean-pink-mold.html

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by akind1 

MW: sounds like plain vinegar should do the trick: http://www.ehow.com/how_6389251_clean-pink-mold.html

Ha! That's what I was thinking of using. I can clean anything with vinegar and baking soda.

I finally made toothpaste with coconut oil, baking soda and peppermint oil today.

I almost had D down for a nap until E whacked K and he screamed.

[akind1]

One thing I'm really grateful for is that Gabe is respectful of Norah's sleep. Loves to say "shhhhh baby sleeping" he likes to watch her sleep, which is a mixed blessing. Norah, OTOH, likes to climb all over Gabe while he sleeps.

I really wanted a nap today, but Norah woke before I could get one.

I need to do more cleaning with DIY products.

[onetwoten]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

JJ ~ Sounds like it's pretty obvious why your dh had the problems he had when he was younger. I don't know that I'd cut all ties with them. Since they are your ILs I think it's up to your dh to make that decision. However, I would distance myself from them. Don't ask them for anything anymore. Be available if/when they ever want to start acting like decent people but don't put yourself out there for them. KWIM?

Not much going on here. Day 2 with dh gone and I'm busy, busy, busy. I feel like cleaning the entire house. When he's home all I want to do is sit on the couch and knit. I guess I'd better take advantage of it.

By the way, does anyone know how clean pink mold off a refrigerator without using bleach?

Oh totally. Almost all of his issues including the prescription drug addiction, stem from his childhood/teenage years living in that house. Toxic just really is the best way to describe it. And the funny thing is that from the outside, they are a totally normal picket fence family. 

I guess I don't really mean cut ties-- I mean I have no intention of -never- seeing them or avoiding family events because they'll be there. More like you said where I'm just done attempting to get anything from them or attempting to have a relationship. I'm just so done with being judged (Did I tell you guys she told my SIL that she feels bad for Tenley and that next time she comes over to babysit she'll have to bring new toys over so they'll have something to actually play with because there's not enough here...), and trying to tiptoe around them only to be treated so poorly, and behind my back at that.  And a lot of it is the SIL that live at home there too. She's 22, but still very much acts like a child. Or like a hormonal pregnant child. She doesn't drive, but also pretty much refuses to take the bus. She works part time, and is in university part time- like 2 classes I think this term, last class she only took one- (5 is FT). But she has like the most insane needs-- she'll get off work at 4pm, and then demand to be taken to go get sushi-- like a 35 minutes drive the other direction from home-- and her mother will take her. She doesn't do -any- chores at all, and has a laundry list of food restrictions (diet imposed, not allergy) that they MUST cook for her. She'll wake up randomly on a Saturday morning and demand to be driven to the mall RIGHT NOW.  Anyways... so basically half their lives revolve around her needs. And she's just... whiny, especially when things don't go exactly her way. Like you'd expect from an 8 year old, not an adult. So dealing with MIL and FIL means dealing with her. 

I think sometimes I like being more productive when DH isn't home for two reasons-- A-- then he doesn't know how long it takes, and thinks I slaved all day. ie if Tenley is playing no her own, I can clean the whole fairly fairly well within 1.5 hours or so, but in the same amount of time, he could barely get the living room clean. So when he sees the house clean, he assumes I must have worked all day long. So I get more praise and acknowledgement than if he's home. 

And second, when he's not home, he's not interfering, and I can do things my way. 

Originally Posted by akind1 

JJ: your in laws definitely sound like cutting -ties-with worthy. How is your DH feeling about the situation?  All that would drive me bonkers.

Also: thank you for the reminder aboout your friend - it helps me to stay humble when I'm feeling a bit down to see people who need more zen than I do. She and I have the same due date :) And yes, to the prodromal hell. It comes and goes. Next time I get a good spate of time, I'm doing the breast pump again. I need him OUT. I hope she gets the birth she needs. and such hugs on the loss of her oldest. A birth and death this close together is both difficult and (can be) healing.

So obviously, nothing exciting to report here. I'm still pregnant, and should not be surprised that I am, but I had so HOPED this one would be different. *sigh*

He's angry too, but of course it's his own parents so it feels odd. But he did say that yeah, we're done making an effort. I'm glad he's mostly on the same page. 

Yeah, I just really can't imagine what she's going through. And I didn't even have to deal with prodomal labor at all. I was telling DH about how you've been goingt hrough bits of it off and on for weeks, and how I think my head would explode if I had to go through that. You're a strong mama, I admire you. DH was like but... I don't understand, aren't you in labor then? How... how... he couldn't wrap his head around the idea of having to basically be in labor for days and weeks on end!

Someone said to her, and I thought it was a really nice thought, that perhaps Ezra passed away before the baby was born so that their souls could meet over there before the baby was born, where they were both whole and present. I think she got a lot of comfort from that idea.  Ezra's been sick for the past year, and there's a good chance that had he gotten sick and passed after the new baby came, she wouldn't have been able to be with him at the end and/or get to have him met the baby because of infection concerns. 

Anyways--- She did end up having the baby today! Baby girl, 12:40pm like 6lb 5oz I think and 19inches long, which seems sooo tiny to me. To realize that Tenley was over two whole pounds and almost 3 inches bigger is crazzzzzy!  I'm hoping she got a chance to sleep overnight a bit. When I stopped talking to her she said they'd spaced out to every twenty minutes, so that was her plan anyways. She said all in all it was her easiest labor yet, and they were all home by 5pm too (birth centre birth). So jealous of her right now. lol

Originally Posted by akind1 

One thing I'm really grateful for is that Gabe is respectful of Norah's sleep. Loves to say "shhhhh baby sleeping" he likes to watch her sleep, which is a mixed blessing. Norah, OTOH, likes to climb all over Gabe while he sleeps.

I really wanted a nap today, but Norah woke before I could get one.

I need to do more cleaning with DIY products.

Oh that is the worst when you get to that point of "ok, I think I'll lay down and nap with her now..." and then 2 minutes later she wakes up. blargh. Hope you get some rest tonight. 

I don't clean with a lot of truly natural stuff. We keep trying and finding that it's just not doing the trick. Our bathroom cleaner is dawn/vinegar and it works fantastic. For the kitchen and general dusting we use Mrs. Meyers, which I call "mock green". It's not as bad as most grocery store brands, but I'm not fooled into thinking it's truly natural. And we use all out mainstream crap for our dishes. We had green stuff but they weren't getting clean at all. 

Random thought of the day-- For the first time since before Tenley was born (ie before my husband was off work really...) we have a few thousand dollars in our savings account. As long as we keep going as we are, it should finally get a chance to slowly build itself back up again. *phew* It felt like we kept finding one thing after another that we were spending money on. It's nice to even be putting a little bit into savings now, and it should go up with DH's new job.