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March 2013 Rockstar Mamas Thread - Page 5

post #81 of 188
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lyterae View Post

 I understand what you're saying, but if you are uncomfortable why would taking something herbal (Vitex, etc) be a bad thing? There are some months I have terrible mood swings and yes I could just live with it because it's normal and natural, or I could take supplements (B-Complex, Vitamin D, Vitex) to help calm things down again. 

It's just not something that I believe in doing. Taking vitamins that my body needs that I might not be getting enough of from the foods I eat is fine. Taking herbal supplements to alter the natural functioning of the body is not something that I want to do, especially something that is going to mess with my hormones. There's a reason why reproductive hormone levels change and drop as people age. I don't want to mess with that.
post #82 of 188

Thanks for sharing MW :)

post #83 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post


It's just not something that I believe in doing. Taking vitamins that my body needs that I might not be getting enough of from the foods I eat is fine. Taking herbal supplements to alter the natural functioning of the body is not something that I want to do, especially something that is going to mess with my hormones. There's a reason why reproductive hormone levels change and drop as people age. I don't want to mess with that.


I totally get that but I also don't like being uncomfortable! I don't know how I'm going to handle things when I get to that point because I don't like hormones. Ugh. Sorry you're already there MW.

 

AFM, Ava has an appointment tomorrow morning with her geneticist. One of the genetic counselors called the other day to talk to me before the appointment because they have a new program that will let us do the genetic testing they are recommending and only cost us $100 out of pocket. We haven't moved forward with it so far because our insurance has been denying it. I told him that I feel like we need to discuss it further with her geneticist because I want a better read on HOW this information would change Ava's day to day life. If it won't make a big difference, then I'm inclined to wait until the next time she has an interventional cath and just piggyback the bloodwork on to that bloodwork. The only thing there is we don't know WHEN she will have her next interventional cath. It could be in six months or it could be in two years. So is it ok to wait that long?

 

When I got off the phone with him, I just started bawling. Ava's heart stuff is one thing but this other genetic stuff, it's really hard for me to handle. As she's getting older, it's starting to become more apparent to me that she looks different. And I hate that there's the possibility that she's going to struggle throughout her life because of this. She's also not on the same level as some other toddlers her age. In my July MDC DDC on FB, the other mamas recently posted stuff that their babies are doing. And Ava is so not there. Their babies are counting, saying colors and shapes, speaking 3 word sentences, etc. Ava is NOT there. And so we're back to the question of early intervention. From all I've seen and read, speech intervention at this age is mostly fun and helpful. And a lot of the work is done at home with the parents. I've been working with her at home but it may be good to have some more "formal" instruction for me to help her since I'm not a speech/path. The genetic counselor said we can talk to the geneticist about having Ava seen by a developmental pedi to see if she does in fact need intervention at this stage.

 

Please send good thoughts for us tomorrow mamas. This crap is stressing me out. 

post #84 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post


I totally get that but I also don't like being uncomfortable! I don't know how I'm going to handle things when I get to that point because I don't like hormones. Ugh. Sorry you're already there MW.

 

AFM, Ava has an appointment tomorrow morning with her geneticist. One of the genetic counselors called the other day to talk to me before the appointment because they have a new program that will let us do the genetic testing they are recommending and only cost us $100 out of pocket. We haven't moved forward with it so far because our insurance has been denying it. I told him that I feel like we need to discuss it further with her geneticist because I want a better read on HOW this information would change Ava's day to day life. If it won't make a big difference, then I'm inclined to wait until the next time she has an interventional cath and just piggyback the bloodwork on to that bloodwork. The only thing there is we don't know WHEN she will have her next interventional cath. It could be in six months or it could be in two years. So is it ok to wait that long?

 

When I got off the phone with him, I just started bawling. Ava's heart stuff is one thing but this other genetic stuff, it's really hard for me to handle. As she's getting older, it's starting to become more apparent to me that she looks different. And I hate that there's the possibility that she's going to struggle throughout her life because of this. She's also not on the same level as some other toddlers her age. In my July MDC DDC on FB, the other mamas recently posted stuff that their babies are doing. And Ava is so not there. Their babies are counting, saying colors and shapes, speaking 3 word sentences, etc. Ava is NOT there. And so we're back to the question of early intervention. From all I've seen and read, speech intervention at this age is mostly fun and helpful. And a lot of the work is done at home with the parents. I've been working with her at home but it may be good to have some more "formal" instruction for me to help her since I'm not a speech/path. The genetic counselor said we can talk to the geneticist about having Ava seen by a developmental pedi to see if she does in fact need intervention at this stage.

 

Please send good thoughts for us tomorrow mamas. This crap is stressing me out. 

Oh mama *hugs*  It doesn't seem to me like she's 'different' or delayed, but trust your instincts. I agree that if you're worried, it's worth getting a consult and seeing what the intervention would be like. I know a few kids who have gone through early intervention, and yeah, they did seem to treat it more like playtime than a rigorous teaching time. 

 

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this! You're a strong mama, don't ever forget that. God has given you Ava because YOU are strong enough and loving enough and perfectly fitted to be Ava's mama. 

 

 

 

I don't have anything terribly interesting over here. We went for Ten's last "catchup" needle on Tuesday, and decided to get the men C at the same time as her third round of adacel. She'd done well with the first two rounds, and the Men C has a low side effect rate, so i felt fairly confident doing that. Which... would have been fine. Except that as the ped was pulling the first needle out, Tenley turned, and so the needle basically jerked sideways under her skin :/ She's got a massive welt thrre, exactly where the needle was dragged. I'm confident it has nothing to do with the meds, just the needle, but I still feel horrible. She doesn't seem to notice, but it looks so bad. :(

 

My best friend finally went public with her pregnancy. I feel like I'm running such a thin line between trying to give her info about natural birth and AP and be supportive, but also not pressure her too much and seem judgemental. This is the same friend that her and her mother commented in favor of spanking on one of my FB posts. :/

 

One of my other friends from high school got induced this morning. She's not even due til the 19th. It sounds like she's coping alright, but blah. She was saying she was so worried about it, since she hadn't been induced with her first. And I just wanted to scream THEN DON'T DO IT!! Bah. 

 

Day completely off tomorrow with no commitments, and then a babywearers meeting on Friday morning, and then no commitments again until next week, maybe. I don't have my schedule yet. It's been really nice to have this whole week off. DH starts his official shift rotation on Good Friday, and from then on he'll be working 7am-7pm, 7am-7pm and then 7pm-7am, 7pm-7am, and then four days off, rinse and repeat. I don't think it's really sunken in yet!

 

Got my hair done today. Haven't finished processing yet. That makes it sound worse than it is, really, but just bah. I'm disappointed. 

post #85 of 188
Thread Starter 
Annie ~ I know I only see photos of Ava but she doesn't look different to me and I'm actually quite shocked that people have 1.5 year olds doing all of those things. Based on what you described, D would be delayed as well, which I don't think he is at all. He barely speaks single words, much less multiple word sentences. I wouldn't expect him to know any colors or numbers or letters or anything like that. Granted, I don't "work" with him to try to force him to learn that stuff. We just live life as normal and I trust that he will learn what he needs to know as he needs to know it. I have never worked with any of my kids like that.

I agree to a certain extent with trusting your heart and instincts on stuff like that. However, as I've said before, I think we need to be very careful that we don't get so caught up in comparing our children to others and expecting them to be a certain way that we see problems that aren't really there or aren't really problems.

WRT the premenopause stuff, it's not like I feel like I'm dying or I'm in pain or anything. I just get really hot sometimes. The other night I was sitting in the living room and got so hot I actually had to rip my shirt off. lol.gif But, even with that, it's not that bad. Plus, I don't know for sure that it's menopause yet, especially since I'm still breastfeeding.
post #86 of 188

I know that Norah is among the younger in our group of whatever babies, but seriously, colors, numbers, and sentences? Gabe is 3 years old and I'm thrilled how well he's doing with colors, numbers and shapes! and he just started with multi word sentences like a year ago. Norah has one word things. the only two words she's put together are "pop" and "tart" LOL

 

Go with your gut, but also take a deep breath - I only know Ava in pics, to me, she seems tiny and animated, but neither of those things is that much different than the typical 18  month old.

 

MW: re: menopause, I think it's certainly possible to be going through while breastfeeding. While you may not be bothered by the hot flashes and not want to do any thing there, maybe some natural things that might help with the mood stuff that comes with menopause might be helpful, as that affects everybody? Just a thought. And if it in turns helps the hot flashes, all the better. But if the things are all things you can tolerate that don't bother anyone, then rock on mama!

 

AFU: home, other kids should be home this afternoon. I miss them, the house is too quiet. We had a great first night at home last night. I nursed him down at 12, we slept 4 hours, nursed, changed diaper, nursed more, back in bed at 5, and I was up at 8:30, and Theo at 9. I really can't complain. If we keep this up, it will be great. I hope the other kids can sleep through the middle of the night squawking though. I over did it a little yesterday and am a bit sore  today. But I have pain pills!

post #87 of 188
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

While you may not be bothered by the hot flashes and not want to do any thing there, maybe some natural things that might help with the mood stuff that comes with menopause might be helpful, as that affects everybody?

My family has been dealing with my PMS mood swings forever so they can deal with this, too. winky.gif

Glad things are going so well with baby Theo. Enjoy that babymoon! love.gif

We finally got out of the house today. Chik-Fil-A to meet up with the other homeschoolers and play a little. We were there for 3 hours! I've gotten through the first week of dh being gone and it's starting to wear on me. Poor D wants to be on me all the time but by the end of the day I am so cuddled out. greensad.gif

Talking about growth and development and whatnot, K is finally growing out of his 4T clothes. He'll be 6 in less than 3 months. lol.gif
post #88 of 188

akind1, I'm so happy to hear that things are going well with Theo being home! And he's sleeping well for you, that's so great! Do you love having a new nursling? love.gif

 

Ava's appointment went relatively well. They let her stand against the wall for the first time to get her height and she did great with that. She did get upset when I put her on the scale for her weight but I think she was anticipating what normally comes next which is BP and pulse/ox. She HATES those. So she was fine after she realized we were not doing that today. She did get upset while I was talking with the genetic fellow. Her verbal comprehension has always been high and she understands when I'm talking about "negative" things concerning her. So she kept getting her feelings hurt when we were discussing things that she can't do or milestones that she hasn't met yet. That's been one of my big concerns with going down this path because labels and words mean something. And people internalize them. But there are some medical sides of Noonan's that we need to be aware of/watch out for down the road and I just can't in good faith ignore, or not pursue, the diagnosis. I kept repeating to her that I wasn't being critical of her but the doctors needed to know the things that she wasn't doing yet so they could help her if we need them to. After much discussion with her geneticist, we decided to go ahead with the bloodwork today. One of the big issues with Noonan's, besides the heart defect, is risk of hemorrhaging. The way her geneticist explained it was that even though it hasn't been a problem for her yet, if she does have Noonan's, it could pop up in the future. And knowing to be on the lookout for it, especially knowing that she WILL have more invasive procedures down the road, is valuable. The testing takes time and if they decide at her June cardiology appt that she needs her interventional cath soon, we want to already know if we are dealing with Noonan's or not. She said that there may be value in having her examined by a developmental pedi but it's a long appointment and not imperative to pursue. She did say that based on her experience and dealings with other kids that have Noonan's, Ava does present physically as having Noonan's. But she said it's mild and it may not ever be to the point that someone could look at her and tell that something was different. She is small. On the regular growth chart, she's at the 3rd percentile for height. On the Noonan's growth chart, she's at the 50th percentile. So still not even that tall on the adjusted scale. 

 

The blood draw went as well as could be expected. The nurse held her and the tech was able to get in with the first stick. She was angry and hurt but she recovered pretty quickly. I had planned to get pizza in the hospital cafeteria afterward but Ava was still so worked up that she didn't want to eat. She kept pointing to my bag and saying "Out! Out!" biglaugh.gifGirlfriend was ready to be DONE with the hospital for the day! So we'll find out in a couple of months what the result of the testing is.

post #89 of 188

HUGS Lauri!!

I want to say first of all I HEAR you b/c it's so tough to hear that other kids the same age are doing this or that.  It's hard not to compare.  And you have extra concerns most parents DONT have. I'm inclined as well to say don't worry, she'll get there in her own time, but I also respect the concern you have that something is up/not quite right.  

Even so she is amazing.  She does things other kids her age DON'T.  Are they all potty trained?  Are they all asking why?  I really feel for everything they DON'T do the same, there is something else they do instead.  it's all a game of catch up until maybe 3?   4?  Then it balances out.  So.  Have concern, but don't WORRY.  Worry is no good.

 

I'm so happy I have a computer!!!

 

MW I hear you on the mood swings, lol.  PMS around here is a freaking warzone.

post #90 of 188
Thread Starter 
It's always a catch up game regardless of age if you fall into that trap. There are always going to be some people who do this instead of that. It only balances out when we let go of the comparisons.

I, too, get that none of us wants any one of our children to be disadvantaged in any way. I really do get that. But unless it's a life or death situation, disadvantaged is really only in the eye of the beholder. Some people end up being fiercely independent. Some end up needing others just to survive. There are so many variables that effect that that none of us have any control over. And now I'm babbling. smile.gif

E is off to Boy Scouts again tonight with his friend. I can't go with him while dh is gone. He really loved it and is so excited.
post #91 of 188

I must have missed this!  You let him join!  Wow!  I'll be interested to see how this plays out.  smile.gif

 

That's also a good point.  I forget that not everyone does XYZ.  Not every kid goes to pre-k, watches TV, goes on educational outings, speaks two languages.  It's all just part and parcel.  You just have to do what you can, expose them to what you want to, and try not to get bogged down by the details.

 

question for y'all who aren't religious.  I don't really enlighten the kids to ANY religions b/c I don't feel the need.   A lot of my friends do.  They are agnostic or just secular christian, and teach about christianity, judaism, etc, saying it'll make them know all about the diff religions so they can choose as they get older.

We focus on science.  On facts not faith.  I feel teaching them about religions is confusing right now so I'm not doing any.  What do you do?

 

And...religious mamas, chime in.  If you do teach about god and faith, do you also explain that some ppl don't believe?  How do you explain that?

post #92 of 188
Thread Starter 
He hasn't joined yet. He's just going to another meeting. I expect he will join once dh comes home and one of us can go with him to check it out.

I don't go out of my way to teach my children about religion (but then I don't go out of my way to teach my children anything winky.gif). However, we do end up talking about religion because it comes up in our daily lives when I read news articles or watch TV shows. Even me watching the fictional TV show, Supernatural, has led to some discussions on religion for us. I do try to express to my children that it's important to respect other people's beliefs as long as they don't infringe on ours.

IDK. It's just a part of our lives, I guess, but I am always into that stuff. I forget that not everyone is. Like dh seems to be oblivious but he didn't grow up in a family that had open discussions about things. It's just strange to me.
post #93 of 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

HUGS Lauri!!

I want to say first of all I HEAR you b/c it's so tough to hear that other kids the same age are doing this or that.  It's hard not to compare.  And you have extra concerns most parents DONT have. I'm inclined as well to say don't worry, she'll get there in her own time, but I also respect the concern you have that something is up/not quite right.  

Even so she is amazing.  She does things other kids her age DON'T.  Are they all potty trained?  Are they all asking why?  I really feel for everything they DON'T do the same, there is something else they do instead.  it's all a game of catch up until maybe 3?   4?  Then it balances out.  So.  Have concern, but don't WORRY.  Worry is no good.

 

I really try hard not to compare Ava. And when I observe how other toddlers are, I don't feel bad that Ava can't do that stuff. It's kind of  hard to explain. I notice it because it's another piece of the puzzle, especially since we've been trying to figure out if she has NS without doing the bloodwork. The bloodwork will provide more answers so that's helpful. She does do things that some other toddlers aren't doing. Her verbal comprehension is very high. And I agree with being concerned vs worrying. Worrying doesn't accomplish anything.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

It's always a catch up game regardless of age if you fall into that trap. There are always going to be some people who do this instead of that. It only balances out when we let go of the comparisons.

I, too, get that none of us wants any one of our children to be disadvantaged in any way. I really do get that. But unless it's a life or death situation, disadvantaged is really only in the eye of the beholder. Some people end up being fiercely independent. Some end up needing others just to survive. There are so many variables that effect that that none of us have any control over. And now I'm babbling. smile.gif

I think it's such a balancing act. Having grown up with my older brother, who is differently abled, and having seen how early intervention speech therapy would have helped him throughout his life, I'm hesitant to not be aggressive with regard to her speech delay. My brother didn't get intervention until he was 7 and by that point, he was aware that the therapy he was getting was "different" than what other kids were doing and he didn't want to participate. But his inability to effectively communicate without a helper has been a HUGE source of frustration in his life. Ava is nowhere close to that point but if I can help her now as opposed to waiting until she's 7 or 8, I would prefer to do that.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

question for y'all who aren't religious.  I don't really enlighten the kids to ANY religions b/c I don't feel the need.   A lot of my friends do.  They are agnostic or just secular christian, and teach about christianity, judaism, etc, saying it'll make them know all about the diff religions so they can choose as they get older.

We focus on science.  On facts not faith.  I feel teaching them about religions is confusing right now so I'm not doing any.  What do you do?

 

And...religious mamas, chime in.  If you do teach about god and faith, do you also explain that some ppl don't believe?  How do you explain that?

We talk a lot about different religions in  our house. It's kind of unavoidable. We're Roman Catholic and the big kids' mom is Baptist. And DH likes to go to this non-denominational church so even more religion! DH likes to say that different forms of Christianity is pretty much the same at the wholesale level, it's just different at the retail level. ROTFLMAO.gif And we talk about the fact that Jesus was a jew.

 

I've had interesting interactions with my old nanny family. The parents are pretty much agnostic but they send the boys to a private, christian prep school. So they do chapel every Friday, etc. One of the boys, now 12, has really gotten in to religion and asked the mom to go to church with him over spring break. And he wants a bible. So even though they have never done the religious thing at home, the exposure they've had at school has prompted one of the boys to look further.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

He hasn't joined yet. He's just going to another meeting. I expect he will join once dh comes home and one of us can go with him to check it out.
 

If he joins, is DH going to go to the meetings and do the camping and stuff with him?

post #94 of 188
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

If he joins, is DH going to go to the meetings and do the camping and stuff with him?

I'm hoping that Sean will do as much with him as he can. E will not do camping or any other sleep over without one of us. Yes, I'm paranoid in that way. When dh goes to Quantico I don't know what will happen.
post #95 of 188

Annie - As the others have already said trust your instincts but Ben is almost 25 months and just started talking. Colors, numbers, and letters aren't even on the radar right now. :)

 

Carrie - So glad you have a computer again!

 

Katrina - I'm happy you are at home with your family :)

 

I got a positive test today, slightly terrified! We haven't decided when to tell Becca/make it public.

post #96 of 188
Lyterae, congrats! I was terrified through most of my pregnancy with Ava because of my miscarriage. We didn't tell anyone IRL until 15 weeks including the kids.
post #97 of 188
Lyterae! Hooray! Sending healthy, sticky vibes your way.

We are home, older kids came back yesterday afternoon, Gabe has been great with Theo. much better than I anticipated. Norah hasn't paid him much attention, except when he cries.

Religion. We haven't discussed it really. But we ourselves are Protestant, have several Catholic friends, and a few Jewish ones, most of which are at least nominally observant if not strictly so. Religion is part of the world we live in, especially around the holidays. I'd like to expose the kids to what I can, I find it fascinating. As far as non believers . . . I would explain that like any other religion. Almost like explaining why some people choose to eat meat. It's not entirely the same, but for people like yourself that hold vegan ism as a strongly held belief, maybe that works as an analogy.

Theo is back at birthweight and I am back in pre pregnancy jeans! Woot!
post #98 of 188
Thread Starter 
lyterae ~ Congratulations! Do you know how far along you are? I know that terrified feeling. Sticky vibes your way.
post #99 of 188

Oh exciting lyterae!  Sending sticky vibes!!  Idk if you do u/s, but we waited until the first u/s with N (so around 8 weeks?) to tell family.  With Finn we waited until 6 weeks only (and I had only heard the hb once) b/c I was outed on thanksgiving for not drinking wine.  It's such a personal decision.  You know Becca best.  You know yourself best.  You can just feel it out and make that decision when it feels right for you.  There is no right answer.

 

re:religion I just don't know it's necessary to explain much other than the basics to the kids since we aren't religious at all.  N and I have been having good talks lately about it.  She was asking why ppl go to church and what they do there, and after i explained it she said she wanted to go someday.  I said that's totally fine if she chooses to do that.  She asked if I would go with her, and I said I might, but I don't think I'd enjoy it much b/c it's just not what I personally believe.  That I've already been many times and it didn't feel right to me.  But she's open to make that choice and see.  

Just lots of really good talks with her lately.  She's really having some deep thoughts, especially about life and death.  

 

I suppose I just feel odd b/c ppl are starting to do easter things and then ask why I'm not explaining the holiday, and passover, and all that.  Do I feel I should?  No.  But I just wanted opinions b/c I wonder if it's something I'm ...idk....obligated to explain?  Does that make sense?

post #100 of 188
Thread Starter 
Well, I don't think you are obligated to do anything. I have explained to my kids why other people celebrate certain holidays like Easter and Christmas, mainly because it's the type of thing that we've always had discussions about in my family.

Why is Nora asking about this stuff now? Is she being influenced by someone at her school or has just come up because it is being discussed in school? I would be concerned about that. Looking back to my elementary school days, I now see how wrong it was to have Christian holiday celebrations and special events. Even something that appears very innocent, like coloring pictures of the Easter bunny can have a strong influence on young children. I don't think it's the place of schools and teachers to expose our young children to personal beliefs like that.
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