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[Starfish11]

Originally Posted by Sleepymama 

starfish that is so hard.  What a difficult situation.  I have a special needs son and we had thought about adopting a special needs baby, since we were pretty sure we didn't want another bio kid.  We weren't really ready financially to do that, but it was definitely on my mind.  So many kids with heart defects who need medical treatment and loving homes and we know how to deal with that.  Our PG was a surprise too, and I'm totally in shock.  I just peed on another stick just to be sure, and the HCG line is darker than the control line, so it really must be real.

Thanks, Mama.  I'm still stumbling through the myriad emotions today.  And you are so right about the kids with heart conditions.  Such treatable issues when a family has access to healthcare, you know?  Right now the guilt is just overwhelming although that's being unfair to myself because this was not planned and we have been using birth control.  It took a few months to convince DH that this was in the plan for our lives.  I don't know that he will be willing to do it when it means a fourth kid.  And I get that.  And respect that.  But when I looked at our future I saw this child joining our family and being a part of our lives.  I keep joking to DH that the local parochial school doesn't charge tuition for any kids past 3 so what's one more? ;)

And the poas is so funny.  DH could not figure out why I kept testing last night and then again this morning.  I mean, the tests are glaringly positive.  As soon as I pee on it the test line turns as dark as the control line. 

[Sleepymama]

Oh gosh yes, the one thing that is the hardest about being a parent is realizing how little control you have over everything.  There were so many things I thought I would be able to control and I was SO WRONG.  It's going to be really hard, and yes your life will never be the same, but you were bored anyway, right? :)  That's partly why DH and I had our first.  We were in a rut, and wanted something new and exciting.  Well, we got it!  

And you'll learn a lot about yourself that you don't even realize right now.  It's in there.  One step at a time!  Not thinking TOO far ahead is the key, I think.  If you do, it's overwhelming. I'll be maintaining this philosophy until one day I notice they are ready to go to college.

[SparkleMaman]

Oh, and Ultrafighter, you'll hear lots of people tell you stories. I get so mad when I see parents of infants or toddlers telling soon to be parents about all the stresses of life with a little one, "sleep while you can" and "have lots of date nights now," as though your life is ending all together!!  It feels so unfair to frighten people with stories of an unknown as the 'expert.' DO NOT LISTEN to nonsense like that. Nod. Smile. And ignore. While I admit, the first three years of my DD's life were very, very challenging times, they were also filled with amazing wonder that I never expected. It is my opinion that (whatever your spiritual/religious beliefs might be) that whatever higher being(s) you believe in, he/she/they have a sense of humor and the child/children you have will challenge you in ways you never thought imaginable. Giving up control (in all senses of that statement) is and has been the hardest part of becoming a mama for me. I am still learning. But you can do things for yourself and with your partner when you have a child. It becomes more complicated to plan and perhaps there are not the same spontaneous moments you had before, but you find ways. Your priorities change (big time!) and you will discover new ways to connect with each other and yourself and new, exciting spontaneous moments (that you probably took for granted before). I am very sure the US Army stole the tag line for motherhood, its the toughest job you'll ever love. It is truly a roller coaster of amazing experiences. Relax. Lean into discomfort. Accept you cannot do everything perfectly nor plan or plan for everything. Enjoy the ride :o) You can do this. And it will be more awesome, more amazing, more magical than anyone could ever describe. And you will discover what a truly powerful woman you are!!

Starfish I know it must be easy to feel guilty, especially when I know how much you did want to become pregnant a few months ago. But you didn't plan for things to work this way. Clearly, however, this was the plan! There must be a reason. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself. And enjoy this time, Mama!!

[katiecornflakes]

Hugs, Starfish. I can totally understand how that would be so hard.

Ultra, you are completely normal! Everyone feels that way. You wil adjust. You will still be scared at times about what you've done up until the baby is born. And for quite a while afterwards, to be honest! But it is the most wonderful change you can imagine. 

I am out of HPTs so I peed on an OPK today, just to make myself feel better. LOL. I've never seen one so dark! A little nausea here and there and suuuuper hungry so I feel like things are kicking in. It's so weird that I feel better when I feel worse! Ah the joys of pregnancy. Ha!

[jjh5351]

Ultra- I am having the same feelings! I am glad to have another first time mama here too because I love the wise thoughts of everyone else but having someone else feeling as bewildered as me makes me feel better too lol!

Starfish- that is SO difficult :/ I know you'll find peace about it somehow!

Sparkle- you're so eloquent, always!

Katie- you make me laugh! I'm glad I am not the only one POAS every day. Granted my period isn't technically late but I like seeing the lines!

So I am having cramps, not menstrual grade, but just every now and then and it is really freaking me out.... It just makes me so nervous because I feel like I am so far from being in the clear for high m/c chance... Ugh! My doctors office said to drink water if I am cramping and it's so strange that it helps almost instantly! I feel like I am drinking SO much water though!

[Starfish11]

Thanks, mamas, for th support. I can't see the emoticons on my iPad but know that I am finishing this sentence with a hug.

And parenting really is super humbling. But in the most wonderful way imaginable.

Katie! I forgot about the opks!!! So exciting to realize that I have dozens of those. Yay!

[katiecornflakes]

Originally Posted by Starfish11 

Katie! I forgot about the opks!!! So exciting to realize that I have dozens of those. Yay!

LOL! I know! I hope I'll never need them again and I have a whole bunch so I think I'll use them just so I can sleep better. The things we do, huh?? 

[SparkleMaman]

Jjh I realized I responded to your cramping comments on another thread. Totally common and normal!! I had really uncomfortable cramping from 7-14 DPO this time. It worried me too but did go away. Fluids helped some. Some mamas experience cramping for several weeks in early pregnancy.

Katie I used the digi yesterday, mid afternoon without holding pee for more than an hour. Very cool!! Nice to see "pregnant" pop up on the screen. I too have an awful lot of OPKs. Hmmmm... And my nausea has really kicked in. I recall that from last time too, 5 weeks was filled with nausea. Then it magically disappeared. But yes, it is amazing how the more yucky I feel, the more reassuring it is

[SparkleMaman]

Jjh And at the risk of TMI, I also found that when I had an orgasm that week (between 7-14 DPO) that I experienced pretty intense cramping after. I share this because it kinda freaked me out! But again, seems like all is good.

I saw you mentioned about having less sex since becoming pregnant (I think on the TWW thread). I found last time that the increased blood flow made me more interested and made things more intensely amazing once the crazy tired began to wane. Something to look forward to

[jjh5351]

Haha thanks sparkle, I appreciate it! This extreme fatigue really needs to be gone because I DO still have a sex drive but I am waaaay too tired to do anything about it lol

[katiecornflakes]

Originally Posted by SparkleMaman 

Jjh I realized I responded to your cramping comments on another thread. Totally common and normal!! I had really uncomfortable cramping from 7-14 DPO this time. It worried me too but did go away. Fluids helped some. Some mamas experience cramping for several weeks in early pregnancy.

Katie I used the digi yesterday, mid afternoon without holding pee for more than an hour. Very cool!! Nice to see "pregnant" pop up on the screen. I too have an awful lot of OPKs. Hmmmm... And my nausea has really kicked in. I recall that from last time too, 5 weeks was filled with nausea. Then it magically disappeared. But yes, it is amazing how the more yucky I feel, the more reassuring it is

I definitely had cramping from about 8-13 DPO as well. It had gone away, although it came back on my run this morning. Worried me a bit but I know that's normal. So fun to use the digi, huh? I had never used one before so I splurged this time and it was definitely fun. It was a 3 pack, though, so trying to sort out what to do with the other two! I might pee on one other to take a pic since I'm planning to make a little card for an announcement to give to my mom when she comes to visit next weekend. Sorry about your nausea. I hope it goes soon! I've only had mild waves so far. I can't remember when I started feeling bad before. You'd think I would! I feel amazingly normal. If things keep up this way (and all is well with bean, of course), I'll be pretty happy!

Are there any other runners in here? I had been planning to do a half marathon at the end of April, which would be 12 weeks. That's my longest race distance lately. I did one last fall so it hasn't been too long. I think it will be ok as long as I don't do it to race but rather just to finish. I'm ok walking some times if I need to. But of course I am pretty nervous so even though I think it would be ok, Im not totally sure, yk?

[jjh5351]

Katie I am not a runner so I am no help lol

I just needed to confess... So I am a total diet coke aholic but I've totally stopped since I got my BFP... Well I am just dragging today and I remembered we bought a new kind of diet soda for our soda stream... Well it doesn't have artificial sweeteners, but it does have caffeine... Anyway it was so delicious and I just want more now but I know I can't have the caffeine... Ahh the woes...

[SparkleMaman]

Katie As long as the running intensity isn't new or too intense, it's totally fine! I ran through 20 weeks with DD. After that my uterus was so big, it was too much pressure and rather painful. I walked after that. I have a close friend who delivered last April and she ran through the week she delivered.

Jjh Be sure to watch out for artificial sweeteners too, mama. I miss my coffee also! I'm not really sure the caffeine would really help though

[jjh5351]

I

Originally Posted by SparkleMaman 

Katie As long as the running intensity isn't new or too intense, it's totally fine! I ran through 20 weeks with DD. After that my uterus was so big, it was too much pressure and rather painful. I walked after that. I have a close friend who delivered last April and she ran through the week she delivered.

Jjh Be sure to watch out for artificial sweeteners too, mama. I miss my coffee also! I'm not really sure the caffeine would really help though

it was artificial sweetener free since it is a soda stream drink!

[katiecornflakes]

Jocie, I am obsessed with my soda stream! We have been out of CO2 for a while and it's so sad. I basically just do flavored water but man can I drink a lot of it! Haha. I had a half a mug of coffee this morning. With DD being sick and not sleeping well this week, I'm tired!  Up to 300mcg of caffeine is ok, though. That's not even a small Starbucks coffee but for regular homemade coffee it's about a mug or 2 depending on how you make it. I am trying to stay off it but I'm ok with it once in a while. Way to go breaking the diet coke madness! 

Sparkle, thanks mama. I guess it's the distance that's making me feel nervous. But I've always wanted to do some distance running while pregnant. I'll just walk when I need to and not care about the time and I think it'll be ok. We'll see the super fatigue kicks in and I can't but I think I'll plan on it for now.

[SparkleMaman]

Katie I know lots of mamas who have run half marathon distances. I didn't run quite that far on my long runs and never ran in a any races when pregnant but as long as you're used to similar distances (and not pushing yourself for speed) I think you're all good!!

Jocie I wasn't sure with the Soda Stream solutions. I do know they have some natural sodas. Good to know! Giving up caffeine is so tough. I usually have 1-2 cups of coffee per day.  I tapered off during my TWW and then stopped all together after my BFP. I miss it but do notice that I am waking up easier in the mornings, despite the major fatigue. It's the afternoons where I think it would be really helpful But it's decaf green tea for me!! Mostly I just want water, like gallons!! I do remember that from before. I am always a big water drinker but when I'm preggo I cannot get enough!!

[maggiemay81]

Originally Posted by SparkleMaman 

Katie I know lots of mamas who have run half marathon distances. I didn't run quite that far on my long runs and never ran in a any races when pregnant but as long as you're used to similar distances (and not pushing yourself for speed) I think you're all good!!

Jocie I wasn't sure with the Soda Stream solutions. I do know they have some natural sodas. Good to know! Giving up caffeine is so tough. I usually have 1-2 cups of coffee per day.  I tapered off during my TWW and then stopped all together after my BFP. I miss it but do notice that I am waking up easier in the mornings, despite the major fatigue. It's the afternoons where I think it would be really helpful But it's decaf green tea for me!! Mostly I just want water, like gallons!! I do remember that from before. I am always a big water drinker but when I'm preggo I cannot get enough!!

I cut out caffeine as well, but in reading found out that the process of decaffeinating can be not so healthy. Is decaf green tea considered safe? I was under the impression that green tea blocks folates? Do I have it all backwards?

[SparkleMaman]

No, you're not mixed up I drink a naturally decaffeinated green tea, just 1 cup per day and actually not every day, or even close. I think I had 1 cup twice last week. Some decaf methods do use chemicals. Green tea can block iron absorption and shouldn't be consumed in large quantities for issues with inhibition of folate absorption as well. After you mentioned this, I am thinking perhaps I'll stop drinking it at all. Sigh. I seem to read conflicting things about the safety of virtually every tea!!

[maggiemay81]

Thanks for clarifying!! Can you buy the naturally decaffeinated in health food stores?

[SparkleMaman]

MaggieMay Yes, I purchased mine at a natural foods store but have also seen it in larger grocery stores and on Amazon. I like the Zhenas Gypsy Teas. But as I said above, not sure now what I'll continue sipping It's so hard to know what's for sure safe. But before being pregnant, I liked the decaf green tea.