No joke. Really. Please? Can we do this?
Totally! We should start our own village, I too, will be there in a heartbeat!
SO insightful, Jaimee. I was thinking about this same thing earlier today and felt very sad... I know for certain that if I had the kind of supportive "village" of my dreams, then I would be able to parent the real way I want to. I've always felt like an old soul, and I rather dislike what our modern society has become. I mean, I'm pretty much the only person I know (besides my tech-illiterate mother) who doesn't get excited about new technology. I lean towards resistance. I like the way things used to be... Sure, many things are easier now, but at what cost? Maybe I'm just too nostalgiac and life has become really complicated. I like simple living. I'd give anything to have a homestead how you're talking about. Practically speaking, though, I don't know how I'd find the time or energy for it. My whole life, I thought my dream was to be a SAHM.... We figured out how to make it happen, and I was overjoyed! Then the dream turned sour with a lack of IRL social support... and I had to quickly give up the SAHM gig for my immediate sanity. I always knew the adage "it takes a village to raise a child," but it didn't mean anything to me until that very time last year when I was so lost, distraught, and alone in my motherhood journey... I don't know how I would've gotten through everything without our DDC. Several of my friends started having children recently, and I thought I'd finally find more playdates and social support in my future! Yay! *sigh* Nope, it doesn't appear to be the case (yet?)... They are too tired and don't seem to care to reach out for support themselves. They always cancel playdates. I know for certain that one of them is battling PPD and anxiety, and her husband is gone a lot for work, yet she just won't reach out (and I don't want to pressure her). I'm frustrated. I actually offer to bring other mother friends food and suggest get-togethers, but they could care less! I'm kind of rambling. I guess I'm just saying all of this because I worry that I'll be endlessly disappointed by a lack of mother friends IRL... All of the mothers I've truly connected with are the ones I've met online who end up living far away. It just sucks. The one time I met up with a few local moms from Mothering.com, we really didn't click at all and haven't talked since.
I just feel lonely. A lot. I want to be bonding with friends over our having babies! I waited for this my whole life! I love my alone time when I can get it, but when I'm parenting, it's like I have this instinctual urge to be around other people as much as I can. My body is like, "Where is your village?!" I have to remind myself constantly not to take it personally when friends and/or mothering acquaintances aren't initiating contact with me. Maybe I know too many self-involved people. It sure feels like that a lot.
This is so true. I am just as lonely. I am often at the park with Eli because we live in an apartment, and I know he needs time to run around outside and play. But I am there ALONE. It sucks. I always thought I would have some mommy friends by now. We have lived here in Victoria for 4 years now, and I don't really have any friends. My one good friend moved up the island after her husband left her. My aunt who is very sweet, is very busy because she homeschools her 4 kids, they are always off somewhere and I get it ... I love hanging out with her because she is so wise when it comes to 'alternative' ways to raise your kids - I leaned on her a lot during my pregnancy and since having Eli. But it is hard to get together with her because of all she has going on, which I totally understand. But I too am looking for a village... it is a lonely place to be ...
Aaaahhhh... I finally had a haircut yesterday :) I cut it two days before Eli was born, and haven't cut it since. I needed some change and it was a good thing to do. Eli was super sweet the entire time, he has some snacks and a drink while I had my hair cut. I feel so much lighter, ready for spring ... :)
I don't know much about minecraft, but what I have seen (my aunt lets her boys play) it isn't very violent. I found it rather interesting watching my cousins play (the boys are 12 and 10).
I too need some lunch/dinner ideas - I am stuck in a rut with cooking and Eli is getting bored with it ...
Mama friends are ESSENTIAL. You don't need a ton of them, either! I have two dear mama friends in town and that is all I need. They both have kids very close to KJ's age, and one of them I see very, very frequently (our new house is just a mile from hers so we will be seeing MUCH more of her and her family!). I'm with Sara - mama friends must be like-minded (to a degree, obviously I'm not looking for a bunch of clones) to provide that deeply fulfilling, nurturing relationship that is integral to our vitality. I miss my family terribly, and struggle deeply with the fact that we moved away from them, but they aren't *terribly* far away (Bay Area) and we are in touch constantly. But it also means it's that much more important for me to build my own community that feels like family - my BFF mama friend (who lives near our new house) feels like family, our kids love each-other and we love each-other's kids, and I can call on her at a moment's notice for any favor, big or small. I don't know how my emotional health would fare if I felt isolated as a parent.
Sara - one of my staples is coconut curry, I simmer a bunch of lentils (I soak for 8-12 hours first but obviously you don't have to) and diced sweet potatoes, plus whatever else I have on hand (green beans, peas, any veggie in the world really) in coconut milk and water (I'm pretty heavy-handed w/the coconut milk, it's usually like 50% water and 50% coconut milk for me, haha) and I even add a can of coconut cream sometimes (did I mention I love coconut). I add either indian curry powder and seasonings or, my favorite, thai curry paste (we have a brand called "Thai and True" that's made in Oregon - maybe you can find it online? It's the BEST). Oh, and it really brings it up a notch to add a few diced tomatoes AFTER it's done so that the tomatoes get warm but don't cook. I often top with diced avocado, too. Trust me on this one. KJ loves it, and if you're just using yellow curry paste or mild indian spices it's easy to control the heat. You can serve with rice or just on it's own (I usually just devour bowl after bowl of it without any extras). Also, big salads with miso or hemp dressing (hemp seeds or hemp seed butter, lemon juice, garlic, olive oil, cilantro, salt) are awesome, I top with sauerkraut (a big hit in this house) and lentils or baked veggies, etc.
Joanie - I soak all my grains and legumes in water and a little lemon juice or ACV because it makes them infinitely more digestible (and many say more nutritious... maybe just because they are more digestible? IDK) and they cook faster, too! My favorite is soaked quinoa cause it sprouts those adorable little tails... I know you don't do grains, though! The acid in the lemon juice/ACV helps break them down, which is why I add it. They are soooo good aren't they!
Katie, that sounds like something my dh would love. I'll have to suggest it to him! Food here... balsamic marinated portabella mushroom sandwiches with onions, and red peppers with swiss cheese and avocado; slow cooker chili where you just soak a bunch of beans then add diced tomatoes and tomato sauce with chili powder and let sit all day; marinated tofu with "big salad" which is basically a salad with a bunch of stuff in it like cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, onions, avocado, oranges, apples, seeds, etc.; vegetable pasta... steamed veggies like brussel sprouts, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower, potatoes, chard, etc. with marinated and browned tofu over pasta with a red wine/rice wine/garlic vinaigrette topped with parm cheese; bean burritos; hummus and tofu wraps; sweet potato and kale black bean enchiladas; vegetable lasagna; ricotta a pesto pasta with spinach and tomatoes....
I'm cooking chicken soup tonight. Just a simple recipe with half a chicken, carrots, celery, and onions. I love when my home is filled with the smell of homemade soup! Mmm!
I'll have to try soaking legumes and grains. I fell off the grain-free bandwagon when my detox ended in early January... I have barely been cooking lately... We've been eating way more processed foods than usual. Not good. This upcoming week is spring break, so that'll give me some more time to dedicate to food prep. The semester is over in 4 weeks thank goodness. I swear I barely even connect with DH these days between FT work, PT school, and parenting. I actually worked 5 hours on Thursday with Sora home with me. Pretty sure I'll never see that kind of productivity again in the presence of my child.
I'll go on over to the GAPS thread and post an update.
Abra, I'd love to get together when you're back in Wisconsin! Are you going to have any puppies still or selling them all off?
We soak and sprout our beans. Soaking activates the enzymes in the seed, which start the sprouting process and make the bean easier to digest/more nutritious. We soak over night and then let sit in a sprouter for another day to actually sprout.