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Sleep help: 18 month old triplets

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 

Hello,  I have been an attachment mom since my first son was born 7 years ago.  We also have a 4 year old boy and 18 months ago had spontaneous triplets.  Sleep has gotten so tricky.  Some nights my youngest son cries for 3 hours.  I hold him in my arms and if it is not perfect he cries.  It begins when I am still nursing his sister (I tried everything 8 doctors several LC, herbs and medication and never had enough supply for all three) and he starts to cry so I slide him on top of me.  We co-sleep with two kind beds next to each other.  Then our other daughter starts to cry so I put her between my husband and I.  Our daughter between us thrashes and cries and rolls around and usually takes 45 minutes to sleep.  Once my nurser is asleep (35min) I hold my son who is a lot of times hysterical.  Then often my daughter who sleeps between us wants to be held, but they both cry because they want 2 hands on them not one.  It can get so tough.  A lot of times, just as I get the two to sleep then my nurser wakes up crying to nurse again.  It takes 2+ hours most times.  A sleep specialist has offered to help.  She is lovely and believes in attachment.  But she wants them in co-sleepers and it involves some crying.  It starts out with several days of when they cry I pick them up to console, then for a few days they get touched to console then it moves to verbal consoling only.  These guys are such high energy I fear they are going to cry hysterically for hours.  When the specialist was here and told me the plans I started crying saying I don't think I can do it.  I said my husband will have to because I cannot handle it.  Well that is abandoning the babies, so I cannot let him do it.  What will the babies think if me the person who cares for them is not there during this hard transition.  Now I am questioning if this is the right thing to do.  They cry in my arms so if they cry by themselves, but ultimately learn to sleep is it OK.  I am not the best mommy some days because I am so darn tired, but my little ones security matters more than any of that.  Any ideas?  What have you done?  Do your little ones sleep in a crib?  Any advice?  Thanks so much, Kari

post #2 of 4

It's been a long time since I had infants. at that age, I was still swaddling around the torso-- arms out of they wanted, or in if they wanted. Inursed, and then rocked & sang to sleep most nights, but alternated who went first. we tried any number of things, most which worked some, but not well.

 

I'm going to be honest: sleep is hell for awhile. Just about the time they are willing to go to bed without you, they'll keep each other up all hours of the night jumping and talking and not lying down.

 

But then it will get better. You won't always be responsible for someone else's sleep.

 

Mostly, I wish you well. What ever works, even if it only helps a little bit, go with it.

post #3 of 4
Hi Kari, I hope you've gotten some sleep recently. I also have spontaneous triplets and they'll be two tomorrow, plus a four year old. I will tell you what I've done but it may not work for you. The boys never co-slept with us all at once, we always did one at a time and didn't even start till they were about 6 months since they were so tiny. By the time they were 18 months they could fall asleep in their crib with a bottle of water and one lucky guy got to snuggle. We all sleep great. Hope you can find something that works for you.
post #4 of 4

Is there any way to put the one who needs nursing down first, and have the others up, playing with dad or something? Once he is asleep, lay the other two on either side of you on the bed and rock/pat their backs as they go to sleep. I think there is a way to be firm about it being time to sleep while still be totally loving, gentle and attached to them. They don't need two hands on them, they just need a mama who is there nearby and loving them. I don't feel you need to let them cry it out, or upset your own instincts. Just set a different kind of routine/system in place. Make it really happy and fun, but consistent. If they hop up, smile, gently lay them them down, tell them something in a sweet voice like 'it's sleep time sweetie' or whatever they are used to hearing at bed time. They are old enough now to understand simple words and phrases. Good luck, hope you find something that works either way smile.gif

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