RE visiting relatives, here is what happened with us - FIL lives far, and DS was born on Nov 10, and FIL wanted to come up for Christmas and to meet the baby. We lived in a 3 room (1br, living room, kitchen) apartment and BIL would only let FIL stay with his family for half the visit. So FIL was camping on our couch 3-4 days at a time, then we went down to visit my family and DH's family for Christmas and stayed the night at my parent's house (we lived about an hour from everyone). DS was 5-6 weeks old during this time, which is exactly when a huuuuge enormous growth spurt happened. FIL has been a bachelor for decades and is on a totally different schedule than we were (staying up until 2 or 3 am watching TV or music channels, then sleeping until 10, 11 am at the earliest....then it took him a few hours to acclimate. He does not live in a different time zone). He also has boundary issues and just wanted to "let me know" that in other cultures women would just drop out babies in the field and then go right back to work, as he grumbled about having to make his own meals (after sleeping through ones that I had prepared myself).
I had to be extremely blunt about what he should and shouldn't be doing, what I expected, if I needed help, etc. Luckily I've known him for many years at this point, so I was comfortable asserting myself. The hardest part was just having to share that small of a space, when we had a colicy baby who was going through a growth spurt, so would literally want to nurse for hours at a time. So I would be in the bedroom with DS for a lot of the time while FIL struggled to entertain himself. He was delighted to be visiting us though, and was actually good with DS. He wasn't a baby hog, and would totally let me do what I wanted to do, when it needed to be done...he just *always* had something to say about it. Good and bad, and mostly in the gooberish "I've been there and therefore know what's best for your family" voice. But he wasn't really around when DH was young, so I don't get where he thinks he knows better.
Staying away from home was just as hard, if not harder. We had to pack a TON of stuff, and DH is the type of guy who is very willing to help...he just needs to be told exactly what to do, and he was pretty distracted having his dad around, and I was still in "new mother" mode, so didn't know what the heck I was doing for overnight stays. And it being the Holidays, DH was MIA a lot and wound up having too much to drink and leaving me to do all of the baby duty myself. (DS cracked my tailbone on the way out, and my butt was still in a lot of pain at this point).
All in all I think I would do it again, because it really was nice to have family around to meet the baby and to be close with everyone for the holidays, and no one was really pushing our boundaries (besides just a lack of space). That being said, it was a pretty miserable, awful experience in a lot of ways. I think that if you have the space to have family visit without being right on top of you, it will work out a little better. And perhaps let them know that they need to plan some activities outside the house (or plan some for them) and say that it might come down to them getting a hotel room if your space gets to cramped. Saying these things now can help you gauge how set they are on coming, and also by setting the boundaries now, it won't be as shocking for them if you need to ask them to go away for a night or two. I agree that a visit around 3 or 4 months would be a LOT more ideal, if it's at all possible. 10 days (was that what you said?) Is a really long time to have someone else in your space that early on, but depending on how close your family is, it might be worth it. And again, set the boundaries up front that their visit would need to revolve more around helping YOU, not the baby.
FIL usually comes up for a visit in May, so I am anticipating this year will be the same. We will try to push that back a bit, but he didn't come up for Christmas this past year, so I know it will be hard. (he's more than a little self centered - he missed xmas because he wanted to get some work done on his house...instead of scheduling the work to be done after the holidays, he chose to do it right before, so he wouldn't be able to make it..it wasn't work that needed to be done "right then" either . But he has no empathy if the timing is inconvenient for us). He will end up staying here for part of his visit. This time I am putting my foot down that BIL has to at least split the time (more if it's too close to DD), since the past few times he's come up he's stayed with us exclusively. Also, we have more space now, so we will be setting up a "grampy area" in the downstairs where he can do his thing and we can do our thing and he can visit when he's feeling like being social and I can escape when I'm not. But it still stresses me out.
There is no easy answer, just try to go with your gut and try to be honest and open about what your expectations are. People forget VERY quickly what it's like to have a newborn and what it's like to be a new parent, and even the best of intentions can be really difficult to handle.