Not in an english speaking country, that's for sure, and I am really confused about what the medical terms even are here (I barely scrape by with the language in regular day to day conversation, so technical terms are waaaay out of my comfort zone).
Anyhoo, I'll try to ask around about it here and find out more. There's a separate thread for this that someone started, so we should swerve this convo back to general chit chat.
Did I tell you guys I didn't get the job? I was so sad, but I saw dulce de leche cheesecake advertised at the premium bakery in an ad and I sent my man out to fetch some for me. He bought me THREE slices, and these were very expensive per slice, so by the first mouthful I didn't care so much about losing out on my dream job anymore. :) I am simple to cheer. BUt seriously I think that was it on being able to hide a pregnancy at interviews. Go check out my photos in the belly pics thread and tell me if you think I can hide it any longer.
So no job and my kids are a lot at their dads. SO what do I do with my free time??? I like to write, I was thinking about writing a blog about an American trying to find her way, make a home/life/family life that feels her own, living permanently abroad in a country with culture dramatically different to hers. Not sure if I have what it takes to appeal to many people on that topic, but perhaps. Or then, I could expand a ten page (single space/small font, would probably easily be more like 25 pages with more normal type/spacing) essay I wrote a year ago about my dramatic personal experiences that led to my being stuck far from home, and see if I can't stretch that out into something more substantial. Or then use it as the basis of a novel, coming up with something similar that allows me to be more creative with the story arc and provide some sort of ending (since my story clearly isn't over, I'm only 33). I don't know if it would ever get published, but I could self publish it, and even if very few ever saw it, it would be on record for my children and grandchildren to read, as part of the family heritage.
I love to read as well, and although I am drawn into tense or suspenseful plotlines that go to dark places, I am so very susceptible to nightmares that I have to really censor what I feed into my brain, so I am feeding myself the happiest stuff I know: Alexander McCall Smith novels. That Scotsman writes novels that make me feel so positive and happy and warm and fuzzy, but they are clever and full of wit. Anyone familiar with the Ladies No. 1 Detective Agency series? They are like going on a holiday into innocence and everything that is good about humanity. And laugh out loud funny. Since stress causes contractions for me after 16 weeks, I need to get into the habit now of reading/watching media that makes me feel happy and relaxed, rather than clenched up or nightmare-inducing stressed out.
To those of you who have shared my feelings of ambivalence about the pregnancy (at times), how are you doing now?
I still feel no connection to the fetus and I just find myself thinking of worst case or pessimistic thought scenarios. I hope the psychiatrist I meet after my next 'prescreening' on friday at the mental health center will lead to some talk therapy that will help me think more positively, let go of undue worrying and bitterness about the negative side of my life circumstances, and push my thought patterns into healthy loops. Science shows that laughter and smiling truly does instigate fantastic chemical reactions in your brain, so I am trying to convince my partner to watch more comedies with me, less violence, in the name of boosting my mood.
Do any of you utilize talk therapy as part of your health regimen?