Weekly Chat ~ Mar 4 - Mar 10 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[CoBabyMaker]

Jacqueline, I hope you move goes well!  Hopefully once you are settled the reduced stress will help calm your RA.  That sounds really rough.

I was all crazy nester last week then yesterday I finished a quilt for baby and suddenly I don't want to do anything anymore.  We've got a blanket, diapers and my boobs so we should be all set, right?  So yes Katie, please send your nesting desires to Bailey and I!  Better yet, just come over and fold my laundry please!

Bailey, hope you are less warn out soon!  Energy sure can be a struggle, especially in this final stretch. 

I took a baby blanket to a friend today who was supposed to be due around the first.  Trouble is that she is not sure of her dates.  She had a lot of bleeding at the beginning and this was a surprise pregnancy so that all adds to the uncertainty of when the baby will come (not that you can really be sure anyway).  She's having a home birth and hasn't had any ultrasounds.  So they still think she is due soon but just not sure.  She's hanging in there but feeling a little weary. 

I went to sign DD1 up for swim lessons this morning.  Geez, is she really that old already?  She's so excited!  I am excited for her too and curious to see how is goes.  She's a lot like me in that she is not super coordinated and I really struggled with learning to swim.  I can do it but not well.  Hopefully she will at least gain something from it and be more comfortable in the water.  

[BaileyB]

Speaking of not sure when you are due, 2 weeks ago at my last prenatal and u/s they moved my EDD up a week. If you average my due dates together I should be turning 32 weeks tomorrow. The last 2 days I have just felt huge and sluggish and everything is just so damn hard to do. Tonight I finally thought, 'damnit I am just going to measure my fundal height again, this is dumb.' Well it is 35 cm! It was 31/32 cm 2 weeks ago! Baby is really active and I don't think I magically got GD in 2 weeks time. On the one hand I am wondering if I could go really early with this one and on the other hand I wonder how I will be able to even move if I don't go early. My first 2 babies were only 5 lbs 10 oz and 7 lbs 14 oz. 

[berrymama]

Originally Posted by BaileyB 

Speaking of not sure when you are due, 2 weeks ago at my last prenatal and u/s they moved my EDD up a week. If you average my due dates together I should be turning 32 weeks tomorrow. The last 2 days I have just felt huge and sluggish and everything is just so damn hard to do. Tonight I finally thought, 'damnit I am just going to measure my fundal height again, this is dumb.' Well it is 35 cm! It was 31/32 cm 2 weeks ago! Baby is really active and I don't think I magically got GD in 2 weeks time. On the one hand I am wondering if I could go really early with this one and on the other hand I wonder how I will be able to even move if I don't go early. My first 2 babies were only 5 lbs 10 oz and 7 lbs 14 oz. 

I saw your question over in the "i'm pregnant" forum too...and the biggest thing that came to my mind is if it is possible you are developing polyhydramnios (excess amniotic fluid)? Symptoms usually come on after 30 weeks, and include feeling/measuring large, feeling breathless. Did they measure your amniotic fluid idex at your last ultrasound? (even though it could have just been getting started or been on the high end of normal then). How is your blood pressure? Do you have swelling elsewhere (face, hands)?

I am sorry you are feeling miserable. I am inclined to think there must be a reason for the sudden change (other than that your dates are off or you are going to go early).

[nstewart]

Wow, busy thread!!  I am really far behind, so sorry for everyone that I miss.

Originally Posted by Quinalla 

Kate&Joey, yeah the dropside cribs are no longer considered safe, I think they were banned in 2010 maybe? 

Yes, they were already banned in Canada when DS was born in July of 2010, but I think it was a brand new thing.  It seems like the suggestion of others to use zip ties or something (you could even screw the side in place) would get rid of the risk if you can find those replacement parts!

adventuregirl, it's hard as a planner to deal with the uncertainty of when the baby will come, isn't it? I totally expected DD to come near or on her due date as my Mom had all her babies near or on, but she surprised me by coming at 38 weeks instead! I find it best to just make sure everything is ready early, but not to expect they will come early so you don't get too antsy waiting. I also plan to just work until I go into labor again as I think I would be in a sad state if I had too much time off before the babies come. 

Yes, it's so hard to plan, even just mentally!  DS was 6 days past my EDD, so I kind of think this babe will be too.  But there are no guarantees, so I'm also trying to mentally prepare for the possibility of babe being early!  Who knows, right?  I am still not ready or anxious for babe to be here, so I am just trying not to think about it too much yet otherwise I'll go crazy before May.  But I feel really strongly that this will be a May baby, not an April baby so even though my EDD is May 2 (and it's actually May 1 based on LMP, but May 2 based on O) I feel like I have until May.

Originally Posted by Quinalla 

I finally had a birth dream last night, so that was interesting. Dreamed I had baby girl first as I would expect and then baby boy turned from breech to vertex on his own and just slipped out. Was at a home (not mine) with random people plus DH & DD, so not too realistic there, but it was a good dream DD decided to wake up at 5am and we let her crawl into bed, I finally got up just after 6am because I wasn't getting sleep anyway. Oh well, I'm sure I would have been tired regardless!

Exciting!  I haven't had any labor dreams (that I remember) yet.  I hope the part about baby boy turning vertex on his own comes true!

Originally Posted by BaileyB 

Speaking of not sure when you are due, 2 weeks ago at my last prenatal and u/s they moved my EDD up a week. If you average my due dates together I should be turning 32 weeks tomorrow. The last 2 days I have just felt huge and sluggish and everything is just so damn hard to do. Tonight I finally thought, 'damnit I am just going to measure my fundal height again, this is dumb.' Well it is 35 cm! It was 31/32 cm 2 weeks ago! Baby is really active and I don't think I magically got GD in 2 weeks time. On the one hand I am wondering if I could go really early with this one and on the other hand I wonder how I will be able to even move if I don't go early. My first 2 babies were only 5 lbs 10 oz and 7 lbs 14 oz. 

Bailey, sorry you are so uncomfortable and I hope everything is ok!!

Jackie, I'm sorry to hear that your RA is making you so uncomfortable.  I hope the move goes smoothly and once you are less stressed the RA settles down too.

Well, we did make it home on Monday!  The roads were ok, but still not great.  Thankfully we all slept better Sunday night, but we were still tired Monday, DS in particular.  Thankfully I'd booked the day off, so I was able to unpack, do some laundry, get some groceries, etc. before going into work today.  We also had to go tour a potential new dayhome.  That's the other stress I've been dealing with the past week.  I was too stressed to even post about it, but can now that it's resolved.  We knew for a while DS wasn't happy at his current dayhome, but kind of chalked it up to missing his nanny, wanting to be home, etc.  Well, it became evident last week and the week before that it was more than that.  He's scared of our dayhome provider's husband.  DS told us that he yells at the kids, and DS has started saying things we certainly haven't taught him at home (ex. "Don't do it ever again!!") Anyway, with only 6 weeks left I didn't want to move him to yet a new situation, but last week we finally realized what was really going on and DH and I started talking about it seriously.  Then, Tuesday last week he came home and was just sitting there and said "I'm a stupid boy". A word we have never spoken in front of him.  He told us that Craig (dayhome provider's DH) said that to him when he had an accident (another thing that never happens at home and has started happening there).  That was the final straw, and we knew he couldn't go back.  Trouble is, childcare for kids under 3 in particular is very hard to come by.  Anyway, long story short we did manage to find a place with an accredited dayhome agency, and I was able to register DS today and he starts tomorrow. The provider used to be a teacher, there are monthly inspections, she obviously really cares about the kids, has daily programs, lives right by a playground, and DS had fun playing with the other children when we went to visit.  A friend took DS today so he wouldn't have to go to his other dayhome again.  I just hope and pray that he has a good transition.  I feel so guilty for what he's been dealing with, thankful that he told us, and sad that he was treated that way.  Also I feel so bad for all the changes and transitions he is having to go through.  Mommy guilt, ugh.

Anyway, tonight I feel like I am finally coming down from the stress of the last week and a half/two weeks.  

Tonight, at least, I'm with you other mamas that don't want to do anything. lol.  I hope nesting kicks in some time by late March, early April, but tonight I had to force myself to even clean the bathroom! 

[amlikam]

Nstewart- ohhh poor little soul. I hope the transition is easy. :-( </3

[eepeepee]

Anybody noticing any changes in movements?  I'm trying not to get too anxious, but I feel like the baby's been moving a lot less in the last 12 hours or so.  Usually when I go to bed and wake up, she's pretty active, but she wasn't really last night.  I'm trying to do the count-ten-movements-in-two-hours thing right now, but I'm only at 2.  

I'm trying not to panic - anybody have any soothing words of advice?

[BaileyB]

I would say go in if you have any worries eepeepee. I know my OB said that at this stage they can have busy days and slow days still but I also had a stillborn that starting moving less later towards my due date that I didn't go in for and maybe something could've been done.

[BaileyB]

Berry - I asked about fluid at my u/s because I have not measured ahead in my other pregnancies and the doctor said it was right on track. I think I will measure again later this morning and then make an appt if it is still high.

Oh, and no swelling.

[berrymama]

Originally Posted by eepeepee 

Anybody noticing any changes in movements?  I'm trying not to get too anxious, but I feel like the baby's been moving a lot less in the last 12 hours or so.  Usually when I go to bed and wake up, she's pretty active, but she wasn't really last night.  I'm trying to do the count-ten-movements-in-two-hours thing right now, but I'm only at 2.  

I'm trying not to panic - anybody have any soothing words of advice?

Try drinking some juice to wake her up. She could have changed position to where it is less noticable. But definitely go in if you are feeling less. No triage ever takes it lightly when a Mom reports decreased movement, though often once you get there they are crazy active on the monitor. It is worth it to go in for peace of mind.

[Quinalla]

CoBaby, I'll try to send some vibes I did a load of laundry last night as I was feeling antsy, so if you can bring the laundry to me, I'd be happy to fold it! I was just thinking the other day that I want to sign DD up for swim lessons when she is a little older, but not quite yet.

BaileyB, is it possible your baby just changed position? I know mine did (confirmed today) and while I didn't measure, it made everything look and feel much different. And sometimes you just have a growth spurt too of either the baby or the uterus or both. I'd be pretty skeptical of moving due dates this late in the game though TBH, they are pretty accurate at the early U/S, but not really on the later ones. Either way, I hope the sluggishness eases for you, I've been feeling more that way too and if you do think something is off, nothing wrong with a quick call to your careprovider.

nstewart, glad you made it home! Sorry to hear about your DS's dayhome, but I'm glad you figured it out and were able to get him in somewhere else! Try not to feel guilty, it's definitely a good change and kids are pretty darn adaptable. As far as when my babies are coming, I am really hoping they wait until May at least so I have all of April to be ready, but as soon as the renovations are done, everything is going together ASAP, so we'll probably be ready early/mid April anyway.

EPP, try drinking something cold & maybe with some sugar and then laying down and doing it again and then I would probably call your doctor if movements are still less. It is most likely just a slower day, but it is always good to get it checked out as you already know your baby best! Don't feel bad about going in, if it turns out to be nothing it isn't a waste of their time.

MFM appointment went really well this morning, the doctor said she wished all the twins they saw were this well behaved I'm 28w5d and Baby our girl is 3lb2oz and Baby B our boy is 3lb4oz, A is breech and B is vertex and they are facing each other right now which was cute, so that is good progress from both being transverse most of the time, hopefully A will flip and B will stay put! Cervix still looks great and they said they won't even check it next time as they don't usually check it after 32 weeks unless I'm having lots of pressure or whatever, they'll just check sizes and whatnot again in 4 weeks. So hopefully they keep growing well, they are still ~1-2 weeks ahead which is good. I'm feeling very motivated to keep eating well and lots of protein as so far it has been keeping them growing well.

[adventuregirl]

n, glad you made it back and so sorry about the situation with ds's dayhome. I'm curious how you handled talking to the provider about the reason you took him out. That is the part I would hate doing the most, but it is important.

jaq - hugs to you, mama! Pain, stress, moving, all while in your 3rd tri... so hard. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you will be in your home soon and hopefully on the way down to level ground. 

mw appt went well, up 5 pounds in a month and measuring 31 cm (29wks - was 25cm at 25wks), so my growth observation was confirmed. Just hoping this rate doesn't continue!

DH has been arguing against cds lately as he is concerned that it is going to be 1. a lot of extra work, 2. gross, doesn't want to touch poop, and 3. a dramatic increase on resources (water/electricity). I not only have some strong environmental and health convictions about disposables, but have done cds before and don't think its too much work, gross, and we have a HE washer which uses very little resources. What blows me away is that he is very frugal and doesn't like to spend a lot, and I really think cds are more economical, especially because I refuse to use chemical/gel forming cheap disposables and cds get tremendous resale. But I can't convince him. So I am thinking of meeting him half way and using both...he can use disposables when he is changing diapers and I can use cloth. Soooo, anyway, has anyone done or planning to do a hybrid cd/disposable diaper option? Thoughts, experiences? Also, how do I find which sposies are "clean"? Meaning non-chemical, gel forming, etc... My experience is nil, all I know is 7th Generation, but I am sure there are others. Here I thought this was all decided and done, but that's what happens.

[amlikam]

Originally Posted by adventuregirl 

mw appt went well, up 5 pounds in a month and measuring 31 cm (29wks - was 25cm at 25wks), so my growth observation was confirmed. Just hoping this rate doesn't continue!

DH has been arguing against cds lately as he is concerned that it is going to be 1. a lot of extra work, 2. gross, doesn't want to touch poop, and 3. a dramatic increase on resources (water/electricity). I not only have some strong environmental and health convictions about disposables, but have done cds before and don't think its too much work, gross, and we have a HE washer which uses very little resources. What blows me away is that he is very frugal and doesn't like to spend a lot, and I really think cds are more economical, especially because I refuse to use chemical/gel forming cheap disposables and cds get tremendous resale. But I can't convince him. So I am thinking of meeting him half way and using both...he can use disposables when he is changing diapers and I can use cloth. Soooo, anyway, has anyone done or planning to do a hybrid cd/disposable diaper option? Thoughts, experiences? Also, how do I find which sposies are "clean"? Meaning non-chemical, gel forming, etc... My experience is nil, all I know is 7th Generation, but I am sure there are others. Here I thought this was all decided and done, but that's what happens.

ahhhh nice growing mama!!! My friend said to me the other night "can you believe we are going to start "really" gaining weight?" I looked at her and said "I might need a fork lift."

As for CD, we did Bumgenius with DD but we are strongly considering sposies for this little one. DH was on board wth the more snazzy AIO CD but wouldn't use the others. With both of us working out of the house and 2 kids, really I just don't know I want to fuss with it. PLUS our daycare provider always put the soiled dipes in plastic store bags which seemed worse than sposies. (even when we gave her a wet bag!!!) Not to mention how many were thrown out by mistake by our providers  . PLUS we found our HE washer for some reason just didn't do a good job cleaning our dipes!

However we had a few hybrid dipers we won and liked those so we might go that route some. For newborn we'll do the CD, my friend is loaning us hers. BUT CD are soooo much fun too LOL so we will see!

[nstewart]

Thanks everyone.  I just keep trying to remind myself that kids are adaptable and that DS will be fine.  I still just feel so hurt for him though, and guilty still.  He was at his new dayhome this am and was happy to say a quick goodbye when we dropped him off, so that's good.  My mom picked him up at lunch time so he can transition in with just a half day.  Hopefully he did well all morning.

Sheryl, to answer your question...I confronted our dayhome provider last Wednesday night about my concerns over the phone, since DH had picked DS up.  This was after he said "I'm a stupid boy".  I just essentially told her all the things I was concerned about (that DS told us Craig yells, about the accidents which never happen at home, about the fact that he's scared of her DH, about the stupid boy thing....)  She essentially said that Craig is rarely around the kids and that she's always there when he is. That when he works from home, he is in the home office. I essentially said that he was obviously around DS enough to be making a real impression, because DS is scared of him and talks about him a lot.  I tried to be reasonable and acknowledge that Craig may just be raising his voice (ex. shouting across the house for his DD to turn down her music, which he did once when I was there) but that it was still a concern to us because DS was scared.  Essentially, I felt like there was no answer, and no resolution to be had because she denied any problem and didn't seem keen on changing anything.  So I thanked her for listening to my concerns and hung up.  It was what I expected.  She's nice, but married to a guy who seems like a dick from what I've seen (he does not speak respectfully to her or his children).  I never would have sent DS there in the first place if I'd met her DH or known he is around as much as he is.  I was given the distinct impression he rarely worked from home, etc. and was at least given comfort by the fact that he had a high level police clearance up to date because he needed it for his job.  More than many care providers spouses would have.  I didn't tell her at the time we were pulling DS because DS did have to go there the next day because we couldn't find anyone to take DS on last minute notice and I had to travel for work, DH had meetings he couldn't miss.  Thankfully her DH wasn't home or I don't think we could have left him there.  Anyway, I copped out and made DH call her on Monday to say DS wuoldn't be back.  I just couldn't handle the stress of another confrontation and I felt like DH would handle it better than me.  She already knew all the reasons why when DH called, anyway, from our previous conversation.  That's the long answer. lol.

About the CDs...we did use both sposies and cloth.  Cloth at home, during the day.  Sposies for long outings (like if we planned to be out all day) and for over night.  Maybe your DH will come around once babes is here.  I don't think I ever had to touch poop except through the wipes clean DSs bum, but you have to do that with sposies!  I put soiled dipes right into the dry bag, then just turned the dry bag inside out into the washer and threw the dry bag in to.  Mind you, since we did EC DS was pooping on the potty exclusively by 6 months (when we started some solids) so I only ever dealt with breastmilk poops, not "real" poop or formula poop.  That might make a difference...

Epeepee, I hope everything is ok!  I agree with others, try to eat something and if you don't notice movement go in.  The peace of mind is worth it.

[amlikam]

Originally Posted by eepeepee 

Anybody noticing any changes in movements?  I'm trying not to get too anxious, but I feel like the baby's been moving a lot less in the last 12 hours or so.  Usually when I go to bed and wake up, she's pretty active, but she wasn't really last night.  I'm trying to do the count-ten-movements-in-two-hours thing right now, but I'm only at 2.  

I'm trying not to panic - anybody have any soothing words of advice?

I just saw this too- argy, this thread has been hard to keep up with for some reason today.

How many weeks are you?

I agree with the eating something (or drink juice) and trying to see if it changes. Do you have any updates on how it is going for you? If you are really concerned call your provider. yesss 

[eepeepee]

Okay!  I took your collective advice and called, and they asked me to come in, which of course set me off crying.  My boss was really great about it, though - she even gave me a cab voucher to get me there quickly (public transportation would've taken forever).  Of course as soon as I get into triage in my cute little hospital gown, baby starts kicking away.  They monitored me for 20 minutes and said the heartrate was fine (I was so happy to hear it!), and that I had an "irritable uterus" (?) because I was probably dehydrated, so they made me drink a bunch of water before they sent me on my way with a clean bill of health.  Husband met me there and was equally teary as soon as we found out all was well.

So, phew.  Thanks for all your advice.  Everyone at the hospital was really wonderful (I hadn't actually been there since I'm planning on birthing at their affiliated birth center) and told me that I'd done the right thing by coming in.  It's nice to have peace of mind!

[amlikam]

Sorry for all the posts, I am having a heck of a time on this thread today. I wanted to check in, I had such a nice weekend with my DH at our retreat and feel all blissed out - like I am in love all over again. It is kind of hard to stay focused          To be honest I didn't have high hopes for the weekend, I thought it might help some, but really I think it was a good balance for both of us. Both of us are happy we did it. I've been feeling so HUGE HUGE HUGE.... this might be TMI, but I am finding wiping is becoming harder to do (I still can, it just isn't as easy).... also super ummmm "damp" down there... I don't remember that part with DD. Nor do I remember am much facial hair (though I did have a bit more with her)- I'm pulling out like 20 chin hairs a week it seems!!!!  

I am prepping at work trying to get my replacement trained but I keep freaking out because she isn't picking up very quicky... I am worried I will get back from my leave and the who place will be a disaster!!! I work in finance/bookkeeping... systems matter some!!! LOL

Anyway, I am loving the 2 DDC, there is such a different feel to each. I am so curious which one I will land it, though my hope is babe comes May 24.....

I was enjoying the nice weather but today it was windy and snowy - I was kind of scared to go for my walk!!!!!

[amlikam]

Originally Posted by eepeepee 

Okay!  I took your collective advice and called, and they asked me to come in, which of course set me off crying.  My boss was really great about it, though - she even gave me a cab voucher to get me there quickly (public transportation would've taken forever).  Of course as soon as I get into triage in my cute little hospital gown, baby starts kicking away.  They monitored me for 20 minutes and said the heartrate was fine (I was so happy to hear it!), and that I had an "irritable uterus" (?) because I was probably dehydrated, so they made me drink a bunch of water before they sent me on my way with a clean bill of health.  Husband met me there and was equally teary as soon as we found out all was well.

So, phew.  Thanks for all your advice.  Everyone at the hospital was really wonderful (I hadn't actually been there since I'm planning on birthing at their affiliated birth center) and told me that I'd done the right thing by coming in.  It's nice to have peace of mind!

Ohhhh gooooood!!!!! YAY!!! In the future I found a sugar snack and water to really peak my little guy up when I start to worry if he is moving enough. So happy all seems well eepeepee!!!

[Quinalla]

EPP, so glad to hear that everything was ok I'm glad they made you feel good about coming in, they should as lessening movements can be a sign of problems and should not be ignored! I think irritable uterus just means you are having some contractions, but that they aren't making you dilate, and dehydration can definitely cause that.

amlikam, so glad your retreat with DH went well! As far as damp down there, yes me too, though I had that with DD too. Some of it is pee (yes gross!) and some is just fertile-like vaginal discharge. And yes, I have more hair everywhere, I'm so glad it's blond so I can mostly ignore it. I'm really noticing it on my tummy! Sorry about your replacement being slow to catch on, I can't imagine! It's hard enough to pass off work, but especially hard when it is to someone you aren't confident in.

nstewart, glad you brought up your concerns with the previous care provider for DS, sounds like she can't or won't listen, but at least you tried and if someone else complains, maybe the combo will get through.

Ugh, this day needs to end, I'm ready to go home.

[adventuregirl]

n, no fun! I'm glad DS did well at drop off in the new place, hope the day is great for him. Sounds like the old provider probably couldn't do much anyway to change the situation, I'm glad you are out of it now. Poor kiddo!

Thanks n & amilkam for the cd thoughts, I am going to run some ideas past dh tonight, I looked into g diapers today and that seems like a good middle ground possibility. We need to figure this out tho as we are starting to accumulate cds and if we change our minds, I'd like to update my registry!

amilkam, so glad the retreat was good! That is really awesome!

EPP, glad you got some reassurance, and all is well!

[CoBabyMaker]

EPP, So glad that everything worked out and that they were kind were kind and respectful! 

NS, That sounds like a tough experience for you and DS.  I hope his new dayhome is awesome! 

Sheryl, We are planning on using both CDs and disposables this time.  We will use sposies overnight as I just find them to work better for that.  Also, I know keeping up with everything can be hard for me so I want to have the cushion of having some sposies around for that.  On the other hand I don't like all the chemicals and expense!  So my plan is to try my best to keep up but if we need to use a sposie hear and there so be it.  I am hoping to use mostly CDs so that I can afford to get the 7th gen diapers when I do use disposables.  I really don't feel like I had to mess with poop and more with cloth.  They typically contain it better.  Poop is part of having a baby.  Even once they are on solids it's not like I have to clean it off with my fingers.  I feel like it's a middle ground that will work for us.

Amikam, SO glad the retreat was good!  That's awesome!  Was it just a weekend away or conference type of setting?

And wiping, yes, getting tough.  It's sort of ridiculous.  Peeing in the cup next week at the doctors office?  Totally dreading it.  I know I'm going to end up with pee on my hands cause I can't see a darn thing down there!  Ick. 

Katie, your vibes worked!  I folded the laundry!  It's still all stacked on the window seat but that's progress! 

This morning I went to help a friend whose morning sickness is making her unable to deal with her kitchen at all.  Her husband will cook some but I guess doesn't clean up-at least he and their daughter are fed though!  So their kitchen looks pretty good now but I am looking at mine (which also needs to be cleaned up) and I am out of energy for the moment.  Oh well, maybe later.  I'm glad I had the energy to help her. 

I'm starting to feel a little anxious/excited about going to see my grandparents this weekend.  On the one hand I am looking forward to alone time with DH in the car.  I'm excited to see my aunt and uncle and grandparents.  It's a really lovely area that they live in (northern Califorinia, wine country area).  On the other hand we have never left the kids this long before and it will be nearly 3 days. (We've only left them overnight once.)  I'm also a little nervous about the emotions I will feel around seeing my grandparents in their declining state.  I am also afraid of how my body will do on a 5 hour car ride.  I think it will be a good and necessary trip overall though.  Just some big steps!  Deep breaths.