I am in the process of becoming sure that I will be a mom of an only. Some days I am confident that this is the right choice for all of us (we are well-settled into our life as a family of three, DS has never asked for a sibling, we can comfortably pay for DS's school, we have time to pursue our individual interests). Other days I am fraught with sadness that I will never be pregnant again, that if something tragic happens to DS we would be done parenting, that we have too much love & energy to focus on just one LO, that we are making the decision for financial or selfish reasons above all else.
So I have decided that I need to just grieve that part of me that imagined having another childe. But I don't really know how or what parameters to set up for myself. Do I give myself a month? Do I have one "final" talk with DH? I feel like I need some sense of closure, but I'm not sure what I'm looking for.
Has anyone had a similar experience? What did you do? How do you feel today?
I mean, I am really happy with my life right now. I feel lucky. But the thought of growing our family is always in the back of my head & I just need to come to terms with having an only & get rid of that voice as it is nagging & I feel it is clogging joy & celebration. Not sure if that makes sense.