This is pretty long but I could really use a friend and some advice from people who have gone through the same thing. I'm feeling a little lonely and confused.
Hi ladies. I can't talk to any of my friends about this because they don't understand (they're all young, still going out to drink, etc - a BFN is a great thing to them).
A little sad today.
My periods have been like clockwork since my daughter was born. I have PCOS and I used to experience 2-3 periods per year despite being an otherwise healthy 20-something. After four years of no protection or pull-out, hubby and I got pregnant unexpectedly and had our daughter 6 months ago. We decided to start trying again (loosely trying - no charting or temping to keep the stress level low) so our kids were close in age.
So basically, here's what's going on with me lately.
Periods have been coming every 28 days.
I had my period, like expected, on February 1. I "ovulated" on Feb. 14. I say "ovulated" because I know I wouldn't know for sure since I don't temp or chart. I felt hard pinchy stabby pains in my lower abdomen and the intense desire to BD, along with a lot of EWCM. This has been happening to me every month around the 14th so I've been assuming that what I'm experiencing is ovulation pain. We BD'd on 2-11 and 2-12 and I left myself elevated for a long time. We BD'd again on the 18th for fun and then on the 27th again for fun. My period was late on the 28th. I chalked it up to nervousness. I tested with three Dollar Store brand tests and got three negatives.
DPO 14: Three negative Dollar Store brand tests.
On March 1st, one day late, I took two Kroger-brand blue dye tests with night pee. I know blue dye's not very accurate sometimes but I got three positives with blue dye when I found out about DD at 7 weeks pregnant. Anyway, both tests were negative.
DPO 15: Two negative blue-dye Kroger tests.
On March 2rd, two days late, I took one Answer brand pregnancy test at night. It came up negative within the 3-minute window. I left it on the counter and returned 20 minutes later to pee and a second pink line had appeared. I got excited until I researched online about evaporation lines. I got very mixed reviews. Some women said that the second line after the window turned out to be a true positive for them - but this was usually from women testing BEFORE their period was due. Some other women said the line's only an evaporation line if it's clear and/or gray and one with a pink hue may qualify for a positive sometimes. And yet even more said that the test should be thrown away immediately after the time limit and should never be looked at again. So I got really confused. Out of curiousity, I waited a few hours and tested again with an Answer brand. The same thing happened. This time, I watched the test and within 15 minutes, I got a second line. I waited until the morning and did this test again and again, I got the same exact result. My conclusion was that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't likely that I would get THREE pink evaporation lines and maybe I was actually pregnant. I didn't get my hopes up though. The lines remained on the tests and didn't disappear.
DPO 16: Three negative Answer brand pink dye tests that turned up positive shortly after the time limit.
In the meantime, I was experiencing slight nausea, heartburn (which I NEVER get - I only got it when I was early pregnant with DD and near the end of pregnancy), swollen but not very sore breasts, irritability and fatigue. I've had much less "symptoms" this cycle than my last two. This time around, I just feel crappy but not necessarily prego.
On March 3rd, three days late, I bought a pack of three FRER since I had read they were usually the best. I couldn't contain my curiosity so I took one that night with night pee. Much to my surprise, I got a faint second line - ONE MINUTE after testing. I showed it to my husband, who confirmed that the line was there and it was a faint pink. It was hard to see but it was definitely there under the light. I got excited. I went to bed.
DPO 17: One faintly positive FRER!
On March 4th, four days late, I got up and used FMU on a FRER, the first time using first-morning urine this cycle. I'm horribly impatient. Anyway, much to my disappointment, the second line did not appear. I waited three minutes and still didn't see a line. I ran to my other test from the previous night and sadly, the second line had disappeared! What was left in its place was a gray/clear indention where the second line used to be. I can confirm that the line was there for at least three hours after taking it since I was up for hours researching on the internet about what had been going on. So I was so sad to see that the line had disappeared. While I was standing in the kitchen looking at my previously positive test, my husband called to me from the bathroom. I went in there and he pointed at the test I had just taken. There was a second line but it had been about 15 minutes since I took it. Then I got mad. What the heck!? I then waited several hours and took the last FRER with afternoon pee and received a BFN that stayed a BFN.
DPO 17: Previous positive had disappeared, got a BFN on a FRER that turned positive and then another FRER that was negative.
So at this point, I ask you ladies,
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!
I'm so distraught and confused. I have a co-worker who says she didn't get a BFP until she was nearly 2 weeks late. She was 39 at the time so she thought maybe her period was giving her a hard time and kept testing just to make sure she wasn't pregnant and then bam - she was. Her son is now two.
I'm assuming now that I am most likely NOT pregnant. I'm upset and mad at myself for spending so much money on tests. I ask you though, what are your opinions on the matter?
I never got a BFN with my daughter simply because I thought AF was coming (serious cramps!) and I had already skipped three periods. When I tested, I tested three times that day and got BFPs immediately. I was also 7 weeks prego at the time. Could it be that I just don't secrete enough hormones to produce a BFP until later?
In the meantime, I've tried to keep my mind occupied with work. However, a few things are popping up. One, my co-worker was running around yesterday with a new perfume and I could smell everywhere she had been in the restaurant. Even the restroom smelled like her perfume despite it being an hour past the time she was in there. The perfume was lovely and I complimented her on it. She came to me today and said she found it weird that I was the only one who could smell it. We're close and she asked if it worked well on her and I had told her it was a little bit too strong. I told her it smelled great but she should spray less next time. She looked at me funny and said "I sprayed it once." With my first pregnancy, one of my earliest signs was smells. I could smell everything. And now is no different.
My lower abdomen is experiencing an immense amount of pressure. My lower back feels like someone is stabbing it repeatedly. Breasts are still swollen but not hurting. Nipples are kinda tingly. I never really got breast pain when I was pregnant, only swelling. I'm cramping hard but the cramps feel lower and more direct. It's hard to explain. Also, I tried to eat rice two days ago and I got sick. When I was expecting DD, it was a running joke that she wouldn't allow me to eat rice. I love rice. I would always, ALWAYS throw it up, even into my third trimester. I know every pregnancy is different, but I found that odd.
I feel like I am going insane. I know a line is a line. That BFP within the time limit was definitely there. Why did it disappear? All my other tests that were originally BFNs (this cycle and last two) remained negative way past the testing limit, no matter what brand the HPT was. And is it too late to consider the possibility of a chemical pregnancy? Can you have a chemical pregnancy without bleeding? I haven't passed a single drop of blood. And could I have possibly O'd later and gotten pregnant from the 18th or 27th BDing? I feel like, if I am/was pregnant, the line should have been much darker considering my period is so late. It feels like women who experience light FRERs are testing before AF is due. I just wish I had answers. I wish I could get my period already and just be over this crap. With the case of the disappearing positive, my heart is broken.
Any advice is appreciated. I can't get into my doctor's office until the end of the month and the wait is horrible.