for 15 minutes.......?
As a sahm I find it really challenging that my 2 year old needs me by his side every second. Sometimes I'd like him to play or entertain himself for 10-15 minutes so I can prep dinner or have my cup of coffee in the morning*sigh*. We do all kinds of activities during the day but he always wants me near.
Is 10 minutes or so asking too much of a small toddler?
Any mini activity ideas?
Thanks all
I have a 3.5 year old, and 10 minutes is way too much time to ask of him. I think it really varies depending on the child. I try to engage fully with my child, and when I see that he naturally starts doing something on his own, I use that time to get something done. Of course meal times just have to happen at certain times, so I bought a Learning Tower so he can be right at counter level and see everything I'm doing and even be a part of it. It saved us. So now I tell him I need to make lunch, and if he resists, I invite him to come and watch or I suggest that we find something fun for him to do instead. There are some parts of meal preps he likes to be involved in but mostly he just watches, wants to feel like he's part of the action. He loves doing play at the sink while I do dishes, and I keep a measuring cup and a few sink toys there so he can busy himself while I am scrubbing. Lately, he has started washing dishes and giving them to me, cleaned, to put in the dish rack! So I'd say if you have a child that really really needs your attention, find a way to include him and it might make all the difference.
I totally understand the frustration, too--it can be exhausting, emotionally, to be with someone all the time with no breaks and to give and give and give and not have a few minutes to just get something done. I struggle with that myself all the time, and the more I surrender, and recognize that this is really a short period in my life, (when he's a teenager he probably wont want to be anywhere near me!), then I can just flow with it and find creative ways to get stuff done.
My DD is 13 months, and I do think that independent play varies a lot from child to child. I can tell you what works for us ATM. I do often get a much needed 15 minutes in the morning to read and enjoy coffee because our family bed is on the floor and the room is rather child proof. Mommy and daddy's things are out (purse, wallet, phones, etc), and DD can and does entertain herself for awhile taking out everything out of my purse (super bonus if there are lots of crinkly receipts, keys, etc) then moves on to take out everything from daddy's wallet. At her age I do have to keep an eye on her to make sure she's not mouthing something she shouldn't be, but the purse/wallet toys do a pretty good job. Does your LO have a favorite book? DD can entertain herself for a little while looking at Goodnight Moon. Meal times for me can be a real challenge as DD tends to get cranky/sleepy at those times so I do sometimes have to resort to giving her a snack in her highchair while I cook, or even wear her. Hooray for the Ergo! I'm keeping an eye out for a Learning Tower right now too, I think as she gets older she will need to be involved in the kitchen to keep the peace. Some way for your DS to "help" while you cook may be helpful for you. Maybe he can wash a potato or something like that?
When my little guy was 1.5-2 years old, if I put a music cd on to 'keep him company' he was much more likely to play by himself.
I have my kids' room totally baby proofed, and when I just need a break to myself, I put her (2.5) and her 13 month old brother in there to play together with their toys, and just have the baby monitor on so I can hear them. They play great by themselves! She also played by herself this way before he was born.
i feel like i have tried everything. i am looking into getting a learning tower..been avoiding it but i think it is a good idea..he likes playing in the sink. we almost do it everyday but i am standing guard around the chair. i listen to internet radio all the time.........
yes, this is just a short period in his life and it will pass soon enough ..........*sigh*
don't give up on me still would like some ideas and what you do to get 10 minutes!!
thanks
Definitely varies from child to child. My 15mo, while SUPER attached/dependant on me in her younger days (I wore her almost 24/7 til she was about 6 mos and mobile enough to follow me around) up and decided around 10mos that she really liked having her space. Sometimes it was pre-nap where I knew she needed to rest, but she wasn't ready to sleepn so I'd put her in her crib fully awake with a few safe toys or books and she would happily play for up to 40mins before falling asleep. I'd put the video monitor on so I didn't have to run in to check on her (which would totally make her want to come out and play with me instead) and she was fine. Now at 15 going on 16mos I can leave her in her room or in the living room with some toys and grab a load of laundry or clean up and just check in on her. Sometimes she wants to be there to help so I let her. Other times I need her away but she doesn't want to so I put a big ole bowl on the floor with some water in it, strip her down to a diaper and let her go to town with spoons, cups and toys in the water filled bowl, all of which I place on a oversized towel on the tile floor. Water easily keeps her occupied for upwards of an hour!
My baby is only 11mos old, so maybe things change when they get older, but he plays by himself almost all day. I just have the living room/dining room/kitchen area all blocked off and baby proofed and he walks around all day and does his thing. I'm always in the room with him but he doesn't really need me unless he's hungry or tired. When he's hungry or thirsty he starts stumbling and rolling on the floor (I call it "giving up on life" lol) or when he's tired he comes and put his head in my lap and wants me to hold him. He spends most of his time taking apart the rooms, when he naps I reassemble everything so he can start over when he wakes up LOL
yep, i think from all the responses that every baby is different.
my little guy will be 2 in one month and i wore him in the ergo and gemini and he's the love of my life and maybe i missed a point in development......did i spend too much time with him?? maybe at 16 months i should have demanded that he play all by himself...humm. i'm probably going to have to be resolved soon. i just put him down for a nap and have to take a shower,chop vegetables for dinner and respond to another post.....all in an hour ;(
My 2 yr old does play by himself and not always with prompting. Many times it gets super quiet and I go to find him, and he's reading books by himself in his room. He likes to play with his super hero action figures a lot too. But there are obviously times he just won't leave my side either - he's a big mama's boy. So then I have to involve him in what I'm doing. If I'm cleaning I give him a kid size broom to sweep or a spray bottle of water and a towel to wipe things down. If I'm trying to prep dinner I may put a movie on so I can get it done quickly, or I give him his own bowl / spoon / prep stuff so he feels like he's doing something too. He loves helping with laundry & switching the clothes out.
Sometimes if I just need a break, we make a "pile" in my bed where we can rest and snuggle, even if he doesn't sleep. At least I still get some time to rest myself. Now showers - ha, that's for me to do when hubby is home.
yep, i think from all the responses that every baby is different.
my little guy will be 2 in one month and i wore him in the ergo and gemini and he's the love of my life and maybe i missed a point in development......did i spend too much time with him?? maybe at 16 months i should have demanded that he play all by himself...humm. i'm probably going to have to be resolved soon. i just put him down for a nap and have to take a shower,chop vegetables for dinner and respond to another post.....all in an hour ;(
I can definitely relate. My DS is a few months shy of 3 years, and only recently (as in the past few weeks) has he started playing on his own. It can be so draining to try to get something done and also interact/entertain/keep an eye on your little one! Like the other mamas have said, I think each child is different-- I don't really believe that it's something you can teach your child or something you can demand of him/her.
A few activities/toys that work for us (they may still be too "old" for your LO):
Play-doh- my DS will play with play-doh or modeling clay for longer than any other toy. I give him a butter knife and some other "tools" and let him go at it.
Bucket of water and measuring cups/spoons of various sizes- It means you have a very wet kitchen floor afterwards, but I just dry it up with a towel (and then I can even say I mopped :)
Bathtime- I can't get much done, but it gives me a chance just to chill. I have a cup of tea and sometimes even leaf through a magazine.
Ok, that's not a very long list-- sorry! I'm still pretty much in the same boat-- trying desperately to encourage some solo-play. I'm going to look into books on CD or sing along CDs for my DS, so I don't resort to letting him watch videos-- again, probably too old for a 2 year old, but maybe worth a try!
Good luck mama!
yes i do get to slip away sometimes...lol and omg i am looking for train tables now.....he loves to play and really and sometimes if i am just planted in the same room with him(he just wants me to look) he can play all himself...except if i am on the computer. so i have decided to take my coffee into the bedroom and he'll just cover himself with pillows and blankets for at least 10 minutes.
we do have toys in every room and........and at this point if i give him bowls of water with scoopers he just dumps the whole bowl of water and wants it refilled. he loves to lift and pour/dump. we spend a lot of time outside....even during light rain but i have had a cold and it has been a very cold rain here in oregon. when we are outside he just enjoys nature and the dirt and can throw rocks into the river or stream for hours and basically leaves me behind..lol. so i do know that as the weather gets better we will be spending mornings and afternoons outside and i can garden.
I meant a CD of kid's music, not just the radio. I was always surprised by how he would play by himself happily if I put on a Laurie Berkner or other kid's music CD for him.
I meant a CD of kid's music, not just the radio. I was always surprised by how he would play by himself happily if I put on a Laurie Berkner or other kid's music CD for him.
yes i meant internet kids music.....
i appreciate your advice thank you!
I have to throw in another recommendation for Sparkle Stories - we love it! My girls love Martin and Sylvia.
My older girls are a lot older than yours, and my 14 month old is still a little bit young for total independent play yet but I have noticed that it varies greatly from child to child. dd1 could play alone for quite awhile, whereas dd2 always needed someone else with her (she still prefers to play with others at age 6)
I like to set up "invitations to play" in various areas of the house. Not necessarily in the bedroom, or wherever they normally play. That way there are places for them to play in whichever room you're in, so you can get things done. I have a cabinet in the kitchen that's full of things to play with, wooden utensils, pots and pans, spray bottles, etc. A low shelf in the living room has a few baskets of things that keep a little one's attention. I rotate the things so there are always new, exciting things for them to discover.
It isn't unusual for my 2.25 year old to play by himself for 10-15 minutes, but I can't request that he play by himself and have him actually do it. It just happens when he's in the mood.
However, I keep a few activities up on a shelf and pull them down when I need a few minutes alone. I got the ideas from Pinterest, searching for "busy bags." His favorite is an old Pringles can with holes 5 holes punched in the lid. I put those round page hole reinforcers around the holes in the lid, and colored them different colors, and he puts pipe cleaners (corresponding colors) into the holes. He has to concentrate but doesn't need my help. He also loves stringing beads onto pipe cleaners, but that can get messy if he's unsupervised. We do the same color sorting game with pom-poms and an old Folger's can (I cut larger holes with an exacto knife).
Another totally random thing I do is set a basket by my feet, and then ask him to bring me random objects and put them in the basket. It's like a treasure hunt for him; he loves it. I've been known to do this when I'm not ready to get out of bed in the morning :) Of course, then you end up with a pile of stuff you have to put back, but we make a game out of that and do it together by finding each object's "home."
learning tower in the mail.
i like the treasure basket hunt.......
hard hard day.................................words of encouragement please. even when i'd go to the bathroom today he'd run after me in a panic. i feel bad when he does this. so today i peed with company. anyone else?????
please get here learning tower.
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