First of all, Hugs! You've gotten some good advice already but I thought I'd chime in anyhow.
Before I forget I do want to say that the pill certainly made me feel more stressed, overwhelmed and out of balance. So while I understand that you are on it to bring some other things under control it certainly might be contributing. I remember when I went off the pill and realizing that I felt SO much more balanced within a couple weeks. (Again, it might not be the same for you, but it might be contributing.) I also find that 5-HTP helps during times like you are describing.
It sounds like maybe sitting down and sort of laying it all out for your DH might be helpful. Like other mentioned, letting him know that you are missing that time to breath. I think PPs idea of having a weekend time where you can go and he can have time with the kids is a great idea! I recently had to talk to my DH and tell him that I NEEDED to have some time out for me each week and he has been great (most of the time) about making sure I get that. I get edgy with everyone if I don't. ;/
DH and I often struggle with making conversation in the evenings too. It can be hard when DH is not a talker and you are both tired! Sometimes I just have to tell him, nicely, "I am feeling disconnected right now, can we work on that." That's his cue to work a little harder at talking with me and sharing his life. I think he's learned by now that he is usually rewarded for his "work" in that area. Most women need to feel an emotional connection before sex! Sometimes I have to remind myself that just like sex can at first seem like work for me, so can opening up for him.
Maybe talk about some at-home "date nights" too. There are lots of ideas for them on pinterest.
As far as the kids fighting while you are trying to make dinner: Can you have them help you? My kids fight like that too and it drives me nuts. If I can give them each some part in the meal prep they do better. Maybe they can trade off nights where one sets the table and the other helps cook.