or Connect
Mothering › Groups › April 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › What NOT to say...

What NOT to say...

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 

Just as a little background; I wear suspenders once I get to the point in pregnancy that all my pants start slipping no matter what I do. I've found them to be WAY more comfortable than belts or belly-paneled maternity pants, AND I think they're cute! So there! :P

 

Anyway, last night my Mother-in-Law took one look at me and busted up laughing as she exclaimed "You look like one of those pot-bellied old men!!"

 

She went on to say that I also looked really cute, while she was still laughing uncontrollably. eyesroll.gif

 

All I could think was she is SO LUCKY that I'm not ultra-sensitive about my looks even under normal circumstances, LOL. Still, come on. Really, woman? I kind of expected dorky comments of that nature from my FIL (his sense of humor is just sort of dreadful in general, lol), but REALLY? Has it really been so long since she birthed her four children that she would think saying something like that to a pregnant woman is a good idea??? duh.gif

 

SO. I thought maybe we could have a thread for all of the completely useless things people like to say to us pregnant ladies, whether they be hilarious or just plain irritating, OR send us into a homicidal rage in which we hurl projectiles at the commentators' heads. Anybody else feel the need to share??

post #2 of 25

UGH!

 

I hate it when anyone comments on how I look...my grandma always makes comments starting about 30 weeks about how "I sure look ready to have that baby!"  It's her way of saying I look big and fat and puffy.

post #3 of 25

I know it's a relatively minor thing but I can't help but want to roll my eyes when people exclaim "You look bigger since the last time I saw you!"  It's just like YES, that is what happens people!  I am growing AN ENTIRE FRICKING HUMAN in my body, and that body will go from the size of a seed to somewhere between 6-10lb in that time!  OF COURSE I AM GOING TO GET BIGGER!
 

post #4 of 25

Last time I was 39 weeks pregnant and went to a sporting event one of my kids was competing in.  The bathroom was at the top of a big ole hill and a man yelled at me "You'd have an easier time rolling down that!"

 

I was not amused. Honestly, it's the first negative comment I've received while pregnant.

post #5 of 25

at a large family gathering at a restaurant, my grandmother-in-law asked me nice and loud for all to hear, "so how much weight have you gained so far?" it was strictly curiosity, she wasn't trying to imply anything bad about my size big or small.  but coming from someone who has struggled with their own weight you'd think she'd know better than to ask someone that!

post #6 of 25

My comments at work have gone in the past 2 weeks from "you're hardly showing" and "still in your regular clothes!" to " I think you could go early!" and "are you sure you're going to make it to mid-April?"

post #7 of 25

With DS2 my aunt told me I didn't look pregnant at all...just fat.  And one day I was wearing a sun dress and my brother told me I looked like a fat Mexican.

I haven't had anything negative this pregnancy yet.

post #8 of 25

With DD I had one friend who kept telling me that I didn't look pregnant up until about a month before I was due.  angry.gif  WTH!  I must really like beer!  eyesroll.gif  Oh and I'm small about 5'4" and about 116 before I was pregnant last time, so it isn't like the baby had anywhere to hide.  Looked like I was smuggling a basketball under my shirt.  

 

Also with DD my MIL told me that "the Jones babies have big heads."  She wanted me to warn my mw!  blush.gif  Who says that?!?!  Perhaps she wishes that she had been warned... DH does have a large head.  lol.gif  I think I half jokingly told her that it would have been more helpful to know that before I married her son!  lol.gif

 

This time, instead of being too small, I'm apparently looking too big.  (well yeah, my stomach muscles are what they used to be!)  At christmas, one of DH's Aunts actually ask if I was sure there was only one in there.  When I grumbled about it to DH later, he said he had wondered the same thing!  (pre 20 wk ultra sound) blush.gif  Ok so DH has a learning curve, but his Aunt had more than one baby,  come on folks!

 

Also this time, there was still some question of the slightly off measurements of the ventricles in baby's brain.  When I asked the MFM ob what she thought might cause this, as I am not at all convinced that it is something like Downs (too close to normal and variable... plus only one soft marker and everything else seems fine...) she said that it was probably just because DH has a big round head!!!!  (He was at the first 1/2 of the appointment and so she did get to see him.)  ROTFLMAO.gif  So this baby (even though measuring smaller that DD) may have the Jones head that I have heard so much about!  Oi!  On one hand it would be great if baby was just taking after dad- he is really smart after all.  On the other hand, I have to birth this baby people!  Now on top of heart issues I have to worry about birthing a big round head.  duh.gif  I just hope that this lo doesn't insist on being born in a superman pose with his/her hand up by his/her head, like DD!

 

It seems I just can't win! lol.gif

post #9 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by brooklyn_warbler View Post

I know it's a relatively minor thing but I can't help but want to roll my eyes when people exclaim "You look bigger since the last time I saw you!"  It's just like YES, that is what happens people!  I am growing AN ENTIRE FRICKING HUMAN in my body, and that body will go from the size of a seed to somewhere between 6-10lb in that time!  OF COURSE I AM GOING TO GET BIGGER!
 

yeahthat.gif  LOL!  I've gotten this one too!  My thoughts are along the same line as yours but I usually only muster an "um...thanks." 

post #10 of 25
I'm pretty small, and hate when people ask "where the baby is". Just because I'm not a beached whale doesn't mean I don't look pregnant -.- oh! And obviously hasn't happened yet, but I hate the "has Megan had the baby yet?", "How dilated is she?" Etc. questions. No, we had the baby and didn't tell you, and there's no time in the world you need to know anything about my vagina. Kinda like the after baby questions and people ask if you tore or anything...um, why is that your business?!?!
post #11 of 25
I am a teacher, so I would pretty much get comments daily. I do get big and so there were many twins comments even after my first and second ultra sound. It doesn't bother me, though, since I pretty much just carry in front and don't get large anywhere else. However, I haven't heard much since being on bed rest the last 4 1/2 weeks. Weird, but I almost miss hearing what others have to say because mostly it was all out of happiness for me, and i know they all meant well. Though my daughters old babysitter visited the other day. I haven't seen her in several months and she seemed so shocked that I was carrying it all out front. "That isn't natural!" Came flying out of her mouth. I just laughed that she thought I should be carrying it all around and not just out front. She even thought that it might be why I was needing bed rest for preterm labor!! Really?
post #12 of 25

My mom told me either I was going to have twins, or "that is one big baby" because I'm so big.

 

Not really to me, but one of the neighbor kids has been telling DD that I don't look pregnant, and he doesn't think I am. So now, she's kind of worried that I'm *not* pregnant, and hasn't said much about my being pregnant, or the baby anymore. That makes me kind of sad, because she was/is so excited about having a new brother/sister.

post #13 of 25

People telling me I look big or have a huge belly doesn't bother me...because honestly I DO! I get huge bellies when pregnant and even I can't believe there's only 1 in there. I have a little less than 7 weeks to go and I really don't know how I'm going to fit into shirts by the end.

post #14 of 25

Is it weird that I feel annoyed when people tell me I look tiny for being 34 weeks?  I look the same as most of you all judging by your pictures but some people are like oh you're so small still!  A couple women at my baby shower were insistent that my baby would only be like 6 pounds, 7 tops..  Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to have a 10 pound baby or anything but it makes me feel like they're saying my baby isn't big enough (which to me equates to not being healthy enough).  And that they took better care of their babies when they were pregnant since they were "so" much bigger at 34 weeks.
 

post #15 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by KateHNM View Post

Is it weird that I feel annoyed when people tell me I look tiny for being 34 weeks?  I look the same as most of you all judging by your pictures but some people are like oh you're so small still!  A couple women at my baby shower were insistent that my baby would only be like 6 pounds, 7 tops..  Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to have a 10 pound baby or anything but it makes me feel like they're saying my baby isn't big enough (which to me equates to not being healthy enough).  And that they took better care of their babies when they were pregnant since they were "so" much bigger at 34 weeks.

 
It annoys me too! I'm sure it would annoy me just as much if I was told I was big though lol. I think all you should say is "you look great!" And move on. Btw, I literally had a flat stomach still when I delivered my daughter, and she was 8 lb. 11 oz. my friend had one of those "are you sure you're not having twins?" belly and her daughter was 5lb. wink1.gif
post #16 of 25
What not to say....

Texts and phone calls EVERYDAY from 10/15 people asking if I've had the baby yet! "Why yes, I had her last week and just decided not to tell you..." eyesroll.gif

My mil texting/calling multiple times a day asking if I've had any "twinges" yet, then when I say no asking when I think she'll come cuz they really need to buy their plane tickets for the UK in April! OMG! (They have a home their btw. And will be spending the entire summer there... So why they MUST go for all of April as well I have no idea.)

And lastly, everyone who sees me asking when "I'm being induced?' WHAT? I'm not 38 weeks til Monday! Something is wrong with these people! And then when I say I'm not. They look at me like I'm some sort of cosmic alien.

I just want to crawl under a rock and hide til she's born! But since I spent 6+ months on bed rest, I just can't, it's just too awesome to be up and about lol

Ahhhhhhhhhh! eyesroll.gif
post #17 of 25
Ah BeanBean! No fun!!! I got that a ton with DD1 and it's the reason I just tell people I am due at the end of my due month (or beginning of the next LOL). Thankfully it has worked fairly well the last couple times, because it totally sucks having people on your case all the time.
post #18 of 25

My friend just had her babe on Thurs and when I saw her on Tuesday night I made sure to make a conscience effort not to say anything about 'haha feeling done yet?' or make ANY comments on her symptoms or anything other than 'you look great' and 'see you in a few days'. I know I get really bugged by comments in general let alone towards the end of pregnancy or in the first few months PP. Everybody just HAS to tell you their opinions on somethings. shrug.gif Ironically, now that I think of it, DH's grandma has had 11 pregnancies, 7 were losses, and you would think she of all people would know what not to say but last weekend when we saw her at dinner at a nice restaurant she leaned waaaaaayyy over the table to say (not quietly) that I was getting big. Usually I can just smile and ignore but I just picked up the menu and said, "YEP! That is what happens!"

post #19 of 25

my MIL, who knows very, very well I am NOT a touchy feely person bypassed asking me when I was right there, and asked DH if she could touch my belly. Before he could say anything I told her I'd karate chop her hand if her hand came near me lol. I'm a violent pregnant lady :-x

post #20 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskanmomma View Post

my MIL, who knows very, very well I am NOT a touchy feely person bypassed asking me when I was right there, and asked DH if she could touch my belly. Before he could say anything I told her I'd karate chop her hand if her hand came near me lol. I'm a violent pregnant lady :-x


ahahahaha! you rock!

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: April 2013 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › April 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › What NOT to say...