He's stopped nursing to sleep!!

[April80]

Hi all!

This is my first proper post so I'm sorry if this is something that has already been covered many times. My 10 month old DS has been having his sleep regression for the past 2 months and in that time has been very difficult to get to sleep by breastfeeding. He always used to fall asleep peacefully and quietly, but for that past month or two he's been jumping, squirming, rolling and basically NOT going peacefully to sleep while breastfeeding!!

When I unlatch him, or he unlatches himself, he starts to relax but then all of a sudden freaks out because he doesn't have a mouth full of boob, so I feed him again. Then he squirms again...unlatches...relaxes....freaks out...nurses...squirms etc etc repeat repeat until he finally zones out on the boob. The only way I can get him to fall asleep is to silmutaneously rock him while I'm nursing him too...I feel like this is getting slightly ridiculous

Nothing else has changed, we have a good daily and bedtime routine...has he just outgrown nursing to sleep? Did anyone else's LOs do this? He naps and starts out the night in his cot but we co-sleep after my bed time. He also doesn't join sleep cycles so is awake every 45mins day and night...but I won't get started on that.

I feel like I should just give up on him falling to sleep while nursing and get him used to being rocked etc but also feel like there's some crazy part of me that can't just let nursing to sleep go. It doesn't help that he seems to not be able to get all the way to sleep without it and cries (screams) if I just try to rock him. I fed his older sister to sleep til 15months and feel like he's still so little.

Sorry if this is a rambling post...exhausted today! Thanks to anyone who relplies

[SweetSilver]

Singing to him might help get him down.  Yes, he might suddenly need that, too, but hearing is passive and can accompany him to sleep without having to hang on to anything.  That's how I eased past this particular problem.  It is true, not all children need to nurse to sleep, even at 10 months.  

[dancinganya]

Follow his lead.  It is good to have other associations with sleep, but be sure it is one you will be willing to do in years to come.  It could also be that he is having another issue?  Gas?  Stomach problems?  Or maybe he just needs a longer wind down time before bed.  Like some quiet play time before bedtime rituals?  Or longer time doing one of the things that relaxes him most before nursing?

My daughter now loves when her back is rubbed (skin to skin contact) but she wouldn't really go for that back at 10 months... 3 years old now.

Ooh!  This could also be a good time to get your spouse involved.  Have your spouse give it a go and see what they come up with?  

Good luck!  My daughter has always been a HORRIBLE sleeper, especially the falling asleep part.  She is now old enough to tell me, "I don't like falling asleep...  I don't like closing my eyes."  She likes to say she is nocturnal!

[skycheattraffic]

That was a horrible age for sleep with my DD. in fact she stopped napping until we installed blackout drapes, put on white noise, and I absolutely had to nurse her to sleep in a rocking chair or she'd pull off, get upset, nurse, pull off, etc - much like you described your baby. Getting more consistent naps helped but what really did the trick was time. It was a rough road until she walked at 13.5 months and then became easier to nurse down again. The white noise helped her transition between sleep cycles and eliminated some wakeups (like every 2-3 hours instead of every hour). I wish I had more pointers for you but at least know that you're not alone. At this point I'd simply do what gives everyone the most sleep with the least work and wait for baby to come out of this developmentally busy stage.

[April80]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to me!

SweetSilver:  I forgot to mention but I have music and white noise playing to him and I also hum/sing along to the music.  What you say could be right...not all children need to nurse to sleep...maybe that's what he's telling me? Thanks for the suggestions

dancinganya:  I'm thinking that he might need a longer wind down time.  I put my older DD to bed just before him and her bedtime ritual (books etc) are quite loud!  I think he gets quite excited playing in her room while I put her to bed.  Might try reading more to him quietly in his room first.  I would love to have my DH involved but he works late at night...after they're already asleep.  Maybe might recruit him for some help on the weekend though :)  So cute that your DD tell you she doesn't like to close her eyes!  I'm sure that's what DS would be saying to me too :)

skycheattraffic:  Thanks for making me feel more normal!  He's standing and cruising so I'm sure his little brain is preoccupied with learning to walk...hence why he's always trying to stand while nursing.    

Thanks again everyone  

[MichelleZB]

So it works if you nurse and rock? Then nurse and rock! Do whatever works.

[April80]

Hi, I thought I would update what's happened since I posted.  Last week on Friday morning at his nap time he just didn't fall asleep after 30 minutes of nursing AND rocking at the same time.  He actually unlatched, looked at me and started laughing!   So I took him off and rocked him to sleep.  He fussed (but didn't cry) for about 5 minutes and then went to sleep...and slept...2 and a half hours!!!!  This is completely unheard of, he has always woken after 45 mins and either resettled for another 45 or just gets up.  

Anyway, since then I've changed our nap and bedtime routine.  We breastfeed, then read books and then close the curtains, put on his sleepy music and I rock him to sleep (rather than breastfeed last).  This way he usually falls asleep within 10 minutes of rocking...it's heaven.  And his long naps have continued which has been wonderful.

A part of me is sad he doesn't nurse to sleep anymore, but I still resettle him overnight with a feed and he snuggles in bed with us from midnight onwards so I get my milky baby cuddles then.  Thanks for the advice to follow his lead...I feel like that is what I'm doing now rather than sticking to something that I was emotionally more attached to than he was!  I think posting here gave me the courage to change something that wasn't working for either of us and now we're both in a much better (and well rested) place :)

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by April80 

 .... and now we're both in a much better (and well rested) place :)

Motherhood looks so much better after a good snooze.  So glad you figured this out together.