March 4th to March 11th chat thread « Back to Group Discussions

[typebug]

Ooops! It's Wednesday and I'm just making the weekly thread now. 

How are you doing?

What is your biggest challenge right now?

Who are your cherished support people (go ahead and brag about your great MIL or DH)?

Any questions for other mammas? 

[typebug]

How are you doing?

My original due date was based on DOC, Feb 25, so I'm quite overdue. However based on LMP I'd only have been due March 2nd. So I have gone from anxious to "meh! I guess it wasn't the right week."  I honestly have felt better these past few weeks than I have the entire nine months. It's totally crazy I know but all my practitioners are looking at me somewhat baffled. So really my body is doing well, my hormones feel pretty balanced. I feel like there's more and more pressure on the pelvis (though baby's head has been engaged for a couple of months now and very low in the pelvis for many weeks. My belly looks a little lower. I have Braxton Hicks all day long -- but that's been a constant for the whole pregnancy. I get more that are intense and pushing the baby into the cervix. I have stupid constipation at this point which is probably the culprit of the cramping that was giving me such a burst of hope a few days ago. 

What is your biggest challenge right now?

I think I need to finish a process I began with myself to feel really and truly ready to be a mom. Maybe that sounds crazy but the birth itself doesn't give me any anxiety. I do however feel anxious about this little person being out in the world and being 100% dependent on me! Anyway, I know we just get through this on the way to motherhood and it all works out but my homeopath today asked me if I KNOW a reason emotionally why I might be holding back and I was a little surprised to find myself going to this answer.

Who are your cherished support people (go ahead and brag about your great MIL or DH)?

My husband been great all the way through the pregnancy and had never grumbled once about taking on household tasks and being available when I need him even in the middle of the night. He's so excited about the birth right now it's infectious just to be near him. I know he's the birth partner I need and I can't wait to see him transform into the Dad he's so eager to be.

I feel guilty gushing here because I've been reading about some of the frustrations people are having with their partners and I'm very sympathetic. I would just lose it without my DH being on the same page with me right now. Some of the issues others are experiencing remind me of a really tough time we had when I first stopped working and we moved abroad five or so years ago. My husband was suddenly the sole bread winner and even though that was enough for us both, he worried. He worried he could lose his job and then we'd be deported or have to move in with our parents back home. He took out a lot of his fears on me and was quite hard on me about silly stuff like dishes being in the sink or my spending habits. That's all way behind us now but I realized that a lot of men go through "suddenly being a dad" at the same time as this other "suddenly being the sole financial provider" thing at the same time. I think that's a brutal combo. Sending love to all the mammas who are trying to support their DHs through this. It will all work out, you'll see.

Any questions for other mammas? 

I'm going to have so many so soon! Those of you who took a stool softener before/after pregnancy, what did you take? I've talked to my midwife, Dr and homeopath but everyone has kinda ignored this issue and I think it's pretty significant. 

[loveandgarbage]

typebug, I bought an over-the-counter stool softener this time around. I had actually forgotten about it all together, then had a rough first BM after birth and remembered that stool softeners exist! I took a pill a day in the morning for about a week and it was a lifesaver. I usually like to use more natural remedies but didn't have time to research. Maybe another mama will have a suggestion.

How are you doing?

I feel human again! The pain down below is almost nil at this point, baby is sleeping and generally chill, and the whole family has adjusted well. My nipple pain has gotten better as DS3 (whoa I can type that now!) has gotten better about extending his short tongue. The OT/LC and his ped both think that with some work we can avoid clipping.

What is your biggest challenge right now?

Leaving the house. It would be so much easier if we didn't keep getting snow storms and the temperature was a little higher. I can't wait for summer when I can just wear baby around in the carrier and walk to the park with all the kids and not deal with the car! Luckily I have my mom in town and friends who have helped out with picking up my kids from school.

Who are your cherished support people (go ahead and brag about your great MIL or DH)?

Well my partner is just wonderful. I think we're both enjoying this baby the most (maybe because he was a bonus surprise baby and we're old pros at this point?) and that helps us both feel relaxed and just happy to be a family of 5. My mom has also been a huge help.

Any questions for other mammas?

Can't think of any!

[typebug]

I just came from our OBGYN apt at 41+3. He wanted to do a quick scan to check fluids and placenta. All still good. Then i sat on the baby monitor for 10 min so they could record baby and a contraction. Again, all pretty normal. So i was sent home again feeling relieved. No pressure right at the monent.

Meanwhile my midwife came over yesterday with a Doula/midwife-in-training and announced that she is going on holiday in a few days and if i don't deliver by basically tomorrow am i ok with having a student midwife instead. A student midwife who can't do sutures, has never done a hospital transfer or dealt with a complication and only has 30 births under her belt. I'm feeling a bit like the rug was swept out from under me. I feel like a bitch for saying it but i do think it's her responsibility to stay till our baby is born. It's not like there's another midwife to take over. Thoughts?

[Chloe'sMama]

Wow, that is really not nice of your MW to do that.  She should have either let you know way in advance or have a qualified backup.  I would tell her NO, she can't leave.  Wow, I am so so sorry.

[sgsnyder]

Originally Posted by Chloe'sMama 

Wow, that is really not nice of your MW to do that.  She should have either let you know way in advance or have a qualified backup.  I would tell her NO, she can't leave.  Wow, I am so so sorry.

Seriously!! Who DOES that? Hope you can find a peaceful resolution. <3

[mama3blessings]

How are you doing?

Adjusting to the new routine is going well. We started homeschooling again and it's nice that the 12yr old helps the 7yr old when it comes to Geography, History and Science. We have been at church again for the first time this Sunday and it was so nice to be back.
I feel great and not sore at all anymore.

What is your biggest challenge right now?

The biggest challenge right now is getting the poor little guys reflux under control. I cut out dairy and he has done a bit better with spitting but now he is screaming in pain after his feedings. Last night we barely got any sleep because he was so uncomfortable.
He has his first chiropractor appointment Monday afternoon and I hope we can get him some relief.

Who are your cherished support people (go ahead and brag about your great MIL or DH)?

Both my 12yr old son and dh have been such a great help. They see when things need to get done and do it and will take baby boy so mama can have a bit of a break and take a bath.

Any questions for other mammas?

Did any mama have success using a chiropractor with their little one and reflux??? Any other ideas/suggestions would be great as well, I'm trying hard to stay away from the medicine, which would be the last straw.
 

[kellybeth]

typebug-i'm really sorry you're faced with that. super crappy on your MW's part  

How are you doing?

i'm doing great. being a mother is the best decision i have ever made, and it feels so easy and natural.

baby girl is 17 days old and i can't believe how fast that has gone by. she had her 2 week PKU today. she's gained her birth weight back + 6oz, so breastfeeding seems to be going well. she only wakes up 2 times a night but doesn't cry since i get her to boob so fast with co-sleeping. i don't feel tired, haven't since middle of the first week. my lady parts are healing up, bleeding is minimal, and i shaved down there today to help me feel more human. i'm also starting to feel pretty frisky, but will wait until after my 6 week follow-up to do anything about that of course.

i have absolutely no acceptable clothing to wear since i'm in a frumpy stage and my boobs are way too big. this results in a near breakdown every time i look at my closet. 

What is your biggest challenge right now?

coming to terms with my new body. i'm having a real hard time with it.

Who are your cherished support people (go ahead and brag about your great MIL or DH)?

my mom came out to stay for a week. she cooked every meal, swept, dusted, did dishes, brought me tea at night and just hung out with me. never in my life have i gone 1 week without arguing with her, until now. she's a real blessing. and she was so supportive of how we do things with naomi, and told me how great of a mama i already am. 

my hubby is also amazing, he's super busy with work but does whatever he can to help me and baby. 

Any questions for other mammas? 

none that i can think of. i'm sure i'll have some down the road.

[Chloe'sMama]

Kelly Beth-

Beautiful picture!  Your description of your time with your mom brought tears to my eyes....

My mom left yesterday for costa rica for a month after being here mostly for the past 3 weeks.  I m feeling a bit weepy in general though.  DD1 was saying how beautiful Liam is and I sang the John Lennon song for her and almost cried.

I no longer have a fever from the mastitis, but my breast still feels hard in one spot.  Hoping DD2 and DS can unclog it soon.  Here is a photo of them tandem nursing.

[Jenny01]

I am having a really hard time sleeping this week. Clarissa will only sleep in my arms and I just cannot sleep like that. She doesn't even like being put down beside me. She also did not gain enough weight at our appt on Tuesday so I'm worried about that too. I am feeling really down and sleep deprived right now

[Chloe'sMama]

Jenny-

Sorry you are feeling so tired.  Have you tried rolling over slowly and still having your arm under her head?  that is how DS likes to sleep when not on my chest.  I can eventually pull my arm out, but most of the time I fall asleep and will wake up when he is ready for his next nursing session. I find it pretty comfortable.

How much did she gain? I would talk to a lactation consultant and see if it is normal gain for a BFing baby.... lots of those charts are for formula babies and not appropriate for our BFing babies.  DD2 gained super slow compared to DD1 (who gained 3 lbs a month for the first 3 months and was 19 lbs at 3 months).  DD2 was 19 lbs at I think 18 months... our doc was never concerned and said she was just a smaller kid.  She is now gaining all kinds of weight and looks a little plump, so it all works out.  Also, our doc said 1 oz per day is normal for a BF baby, so a little under or over should be fine.

[HouseofPeace]

Originally Posted by Jenny01 

I am having a really hard time sleeping this week. Clarissa will only sleep in my arms and I just cannot sleep like that. She doesn't even like being put down beside me. She also did not gain enough weight at our appt on Tuesday so I'm worried about that too. I am feeling really down and sleep deprived right now

we had to finagle a position.  generally we both fall asleep when i nurse him laying down.  and we wake up when he loses the nipple.  some nights he doesn't wake me up until his down grumpiness.  we're tired enough from that!  he doesn't want the boob then, so i'm pretty clueless about how to hang out w/ him in any other way yet.....

Originally Posted by typebug 
Meanwhile my midwife came over yesterday with a Doula/midwife-in-training and announced that she is going on holiday in a few days and if i don't deliver by basically tomorrow am i ok with having a student midwife instead. A student midwife who can't do sutures, has never done a hospital transfer or dealt with a complication and only has 30 births under her belt. I'm feeling a bit like the rug was swept out from under me. I feel like a bitch for saying it but i do think it's her responsibility to stay till our baby is born. It's not like there's another midwife to take over. Thoughts?

uh- completely unprofessional and unacceptable?

my midwife had another woman go into labor when i did, but she was only the doula at that birth and i was much farther away.  in a situation where 2 women are in labor, i'd be willing to accept another midwife, but thankfully she was very clear that i was first priority due to distance and the fact that she was my MIDWIFE.  grrrrrrrr...... 

Choe'smama- i miss tandem nursing!!!  i'm glad i get to help out another mama, but pumps are not as effective as toddlers, and i love love love nursing toddlers.  my little girl just grew up so fast!

How are you doing?

great- feel really amazingly recovered from birth.  tired, but also doing a lot during the day as well as providing all night suckling for my darling little man.

What is your biggest challenge right now?

ENERGY.  mentally and emotionally i still want to hide and just be nose to nose w/ my baby in bed for a little longer.  please?

Who are your cherished support people (go ahead and brag about your great MIL or DH)?

my 7 year old son is AMAZING.  he brings me wood for our woodstove, is doing great on his schoolwork, loves to help w/ chores- and this is him doing his reading for today-

which buys me about 30 minutes of free hands time!!! he's actually bouncing the bouncer w/ his foot- no batteries yet.  and baby likes foot.

Hubby has been great- he shifted his entire schedule so he leaves the house around 10am after giving me an extra hour or two of sleep after my dawn wake-up.  and he's done most of the shopping and has also been taking a kid or two w/ him on adventures when he can.  this weekend is going to be crazy, so he stayed home today and worked in the living room which is a huge challenge for him, but it was very nice to have him around.

Any questions for other mammas? 

who cares enough about chores that they've figured out how to do them?  i've gotten back on top of laundry, but the bathrooms are wretched, i just bought a new broom and swept the living room floor and the kitchen (i do the kitchen nightly) but i am just barely keeping the house together and pretty much choose one thing a day to catch up.  but w/ a family of 7, that means i'm getting really far behind each day!!!

[Chloe'sMama]

hop-

love the picture of your ds bouncing baby while reading!!!!

my house is a disaster.... I did 4 loads of laundry today and just cleaned up the messes the girls made along the way..... I also heated up lunch, so i feel like i did good today.

[kellybeth]

I power clean while she's napping. Hubby and i are going to experiment with baby wearing tomorrow so i can get more done and feel closer to my normal.

[Jenny01]

Thanks ladies. She had initially gained 3 oz in two days but then at the next check it was only two oz and it had been almost a week. My midwife gave me until tomorrow to get some more weight on her and if it hasn't improved we will try some herbs to boost my supply. I think she had growth spurt this week so I'm hopeful for good news tomorrow.

My doula is a LC and she wasn't too concerned about the weight issue yet.

The other issue is she makes this weird noise when she is sleeping that sounds like she is gasping for air. It wakes herself up and of course scares the crap out of me. Might be gas but I need to ask about it at our appt tomorrow too.

Starting to feel physically ill from lack of sleep my digestive system is all messed. I got a bit of sleep today thanks to my mom and hubby but we can't do this forever. Soon it will be just me and her and I need to figure this out.

[typebug]

 Thanks for the support ladies. I called my MW and said I was really uncomfortable with her back up plan and I would feel much more confident going into the birth with her at the helm. She managed to postpone her flight a few days (which I suppose we can do again if we're at 42 weeks on Monday with no baby...) Phew, managed to handle the call without anyone feeling weird about it and I think we're good now at least for the weekend. 

[typebug]

Originally Posted by Jenny01 

Thanks ladies. She had initially gained 3 oz in two days but then at the next check it was only two oz and it had been almost a week. My midwife gave me until tomorrow to get some more weight on her and if it hasn't improved we will try some herbs to boost my supply. I think she had growth spurt this week so I'm hopeful for good news tomorrow.

My doula is a LC and she wasn't too concerned about the weight issue yet.

The other issue is she makes this weird noise when she is sleeping that sounds like she is gasping for air. It wakes herself up and of course scares the crap out of me. Might be gas but I need to ask about it at our appt tomorrow too.

Starting to feel physically ill from lack of sleep my digestive system is all messed. I got a bit of sleep today thanks to my mom and hubby but we can't do this forever. Soon it will be just me and her and I need to figure this out.

This is one of my big fears about lack of sleep after baby arrives. I get so sick feeling on low sleep. I hope you find some balance soon! 

[CamoShades]

Typebug- I am so glad to hear you talked to your midwife and that she changed her flight. I really can't believe she would do that to you at this point in the game.

[Chloe'sMama]

Jenny- hope it is good news at your appt today.

With my first, sleep deprivation seemed to kick my butt too, I would take a nap when dh would get home from work and he would do everything to keep dd quiet and happy for 1-2 hours. I would nurse her right when he got home then go nap. I would also sometimes leave him with her in the evenings if she was not ready for bed at 9 and he would Bering her in when she was more tired.
Hope you get some rest.

[Chloe'sMama]

And typebug- great news about your midwife- well done!