Diaper change trauma-- help! « Back to Group Discussions

[buko]

Sorry I haven't had the chance to update with pics or story, but I need your help! Lina is doing wonderfully with basically one exception- she is completely traumatized by every diaper change (which is almost exclusively DH's domain). I have read tips for entertaining or dealing with older babies who have this issue, but not newborns. Help?

She wails and gets SO upset... It's true she gets over it once you pick her up, but the poor girl... I'm sure it's because we never put her down otherwise and she doesn't like being on her back, but what to do? We try talking, singing, placing a hand on her chest, letting her suck a knuckle... But none of that really works. Poor DH-- it just kills him.

Anything we can do?

[LDoulaSteph]

I remember this! I think newborns just don't care for being changed, they don't like the temperature change. I remember DD hating it too. They go from nice and toasty to chilly and I don't think they love lying on their backs. A nice warm snuggle from mommy or daddy afterwards will probably make her feel better :)

[buko]

Thanks so much... so, nothing we can do DURING the change, then?  When do they seem to adjust and "get over it," in your experience?  It's the only thing that REALLY upsets her-- like hyperventilating at times.  Poor baby. 

[LDoulaSteph]

I don't remember being able to do anything except change that diaper with lightning speed 

DH made it his personal challenge to beat his best time every change :)

[firespiritmelody]

Try covering her with a blanket to keep her as warm as possilbe and making sure that what ever she's laying on is snuggly. Other then that, lightning speed is about it. Good luck!

[eternalw]

Do you swaddle? The velcro ones can be untucked at the bottom for changes. Also- warm wipes..

It's so sad, isn't it?? Makes you all anxious. Hugs, mama

[LightForest]

This is a good way to perfect your speedy diaper changes, for sure! Consider it practice for when baby becomes mobile and you have to get that poop off ASAP before they flip over and crawl away!

A few things that might help for now, though:

I agree with swaddling on top, covering with a blanket, making sure the changing space is squishy soft, warm wipes...

Also:

My changing pad randomly has a built-in heating pad, which I never used with DD, but it gives me the idea that a warmed changing area might provide some comfort.

Make sure the lights are dim and the atmosphere mellow in general...

Sing, smile, and try to be generally pleasant and mellow. If you or DH are distressed then baby will pick up on that vibe.

If you're using cloth dipes, maybe forget about using a diaper cover (if this is relevant to your system), just to save some time when changing.

But my biggest suggestion is to try holding the baby over a potty every now and then to see if she eliminates that way. You can hold her in a position that's much more "natural" to her - sort of cradled and curled up. Maybe she'd respond well to that, as opposed to being laid on her back. Clean up time would also be less - just a quick wipe for a poop, but it wouldn't be smeared all over her bottom...

If she's really mad about being laid on her back, you could also do as much undressing/dressing as possible while holding the baby. Let her snuggle curled on your chest while you work off her pants or hike up her gown or whatever.

[chocolatechip]

Not having any experience in this, I have nothing to suggest, buko, but thank you for asking the question, as I am storing away the suggestions for when our baby comes! Good luck!

[wildmansmom]

I agree that a big part of the problem is all that cold air on their bottoms!  Warm wipes for sure, and maybe try changing her when she is sleepy or just after a feeding? 

I didn't have a big problem after the first week as DS was "in and out" after each feeding.  I didn't bother changing him until after he'd nursed as I knew 75% of the time he would poop while eating.  He was much more calm when being changed when full and in a milk coma.

[buko]

Thank you, all! I read all of these to DH and the next change, I held her arms and "shushed" loudly (a la Happiest Baby), as well as gave her my knuckle to suck on (though I've tried that before without much success). I think the shushing did the trick!

The environment, wipes, etc. are all really warm, cushy soft, low light-- it starts before anything is removed or done to her-- it's just the being put down that scares her, I think.

And we are definitely starting EC soon! Probably next week-- I am just not being super-ambitious during her first week (our first week as parents).

[Sara79]

Originally Posted by buko 

 I am just not being super-ambitious during her first week (our first week as parents).

Absolutely mama!!! :)

I just wanted to emphathize my son was like..daughter not so much but oh changing our first was just torture for all of us...it made me want to cry everytime.

[Bena]

I see you`ve gotten tons of good advice!  Hope it works out for you!

Your post reminded me that the best advice I got when I was in the messy blur of the first few post-partum weeks was to remember that newborns are just so disorganised and confused by everything!   This is not your "new normal" and things change so quickly, so just to hang in there and sometime waiting it out is all you can do!

So yeah, good job on not getting to ambitious!  The time will be right soon, and you`ll just know it!