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Cloth and my MIL (Update)

post #1 of 65
4/22/04 at 10:53am
Thread Starter 
I have got to get this off my chest and dh just shrugs over it, so I figured you ladies would understand.

My 3.5 year old ds is not potty trained fully yet, so I have been keeping him in training pants. You all know what disposable ones cost, and the gerber ones were awful because he does not poop in the potty, so I finally convinced dh to let me get some FB trickle free trainers.

I bought 6 regular ones and 2 overnight ones because he does use the potty sometimes and this was enough for 2-3 days. This was a pretty big investment for us.

Anyway, my ds went to my MIL's to spend the night and I packed 5 of his 8 pairs to go with him just in case. She brings him back the next day WITHOUT them . Instead she brought half a pack of pull-ups.

We just moved and we are living on a very tight budget for a while. We need to get 2 weeks worth of groceries this weekend on $150, and now I have to buy disposables!! This blows our budget and p*sses me off!!!

Anyway, sorry for the vent, I just needed to let that out to people who would get it.

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post #2 of 65
4/22/04 at 10:58am
So where are tbey? What did she do with the trainers??

I am not very good at keeping my mouth shut when I just spent alot of $$ and I would have gone off.
post #3 of 65
4/22/04 at 10:59am
can she not bring them back to you? Tough situation. You can't really say "those are pretty expensive, I need them back right now" or you get the "well, if you don't have any money how can you justify xx amount on these" blah blah blah. at least that's how it goes w/my MIL
post #4 of 65
4/22/04 at 10:59am
Wait, so what did she do with them? Just keep them, or throw them away () or what? Is it possible for you to go back to her place and pick them up, or call her and explain the problem and have her drop them off at your place? I personally would be very reluctant to go buy disposables when I just spent all that money on cloth trainers! Maybe she doesn't realize how expensive they are, or it was just a misunderstanding?

I would be royally P.O.'ed, too.
post #5 of 65
4/22/04 at 11:00am
couldn't you just go to her house and get them?
post #6 of 65
4/22/04 at 11:08am
Thread Starter 
She is out of town for the next few weeks on business. She dropped him off and left, so we didn't have a chance to get them at all. As far as I know, she just forgot them at home. I really wish we could just go get them...
post #7 of 65
4/22/04 at 11:17am
I don't suppose your DH has a key to the house?

That totally sucks, I would be really upset.
post #8 of 65
4/22/04 at 11:51am
i would be fuming!!!
post #9 of 65
4/22/04 at 11:56am
I'm not sure what I would do but it might be against the law...


If anyone had my cloth though I'd be so upset, i think you should keep the receipts for any disposies you buy and tell her you want reimbursment! Explain that you can hardly afford to buy a bunch of disposable trainers when you just purchased reuasable ones. Since she didn't have the courtesy to return them, then she should be responsible for the expenses you have as a result.

then again I am very protective of my stuff so maybe it is just me!
post #10 of 65
4/22/04 at 11:59am
do you have a good relationship w/her? do you think it truly was just an oversight - leaving them at home. maybe she didnt use them b/c she was a little itimidated by cloth (granted it's not rocket science - but still). Or you do you think it was sabotage.
post #11 of 65
4/22/04 at 12:05pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by mthomas
do you have a good relationship w/her? do you think it truly was just an oversight - leaving them at home. maybe she didnt use them b/c she was a little itimidated by cloth (granted it's not rocket science - but still). Or you do you think it was sabotage.
Our relationship is strained at best. The woman is unstable, so I really don't know WHY she did it. She always brings him back with sposies in his diaper bag, so I think she thinks the cloth switch was a whim or done because we are poor (which is a factor). Does that make sense? She has brought him home with no underwear or diaper at all when he was really little, and we never did figure out if she just forgot to put a diaper back on him....

I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt for now, at least until I can talk to her about it.
post #12 of 65
4/22/04 at 12:07pm
Whew. I'm weird about this kind of thing so I would probably cry and then be FURIOUS. I would never be able to let it go.
post #13 of 65
4/22/04 at 12:09pm
Thread Starter 
ALso wanted to add, the woman has NO CLUE what these things cost nor what they mean to me. I can't seem to get it through to her that I don't want him in disposables at all. I send a good sized wet bag with him and explain to her that she should send them back DIRTY because I have a special wash routine, but she still doesn't understand it. We may just have to cut out overnight visits until he is potty trained completely.
post #14 of 65
4/22/04 at 12:15pm
Quote:
Originally posted by cat_astrophe
We may just have to cut out overnight visits until he is potty trained completely.
that might wake her up a little.
post #15 of 65
4/22/04 at 12:18pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Sheena
Whew. I'm weird about this kind of thing so I would probably cry and then be FURIOUS. I would never be able to let it go.
That's not weird to me, that is pretty much how I have responded. The more I think about it, the more furious I get....
post #16 of 65
4/22/04 at 12:41pm
Quote:
Originally posted by cat_astrophe
We may just have to cut out overnight visits until he is potty trained completely.
WOW!!!

I would have gone off! And I am evil I would not let my kids go over there for a while. Like until they were teenagers unsupervised. You are the parent not her so if you bring over cloth she needs to use it on him and like it. KWIM???

I hate MILs when they do that crap!

(I am still pissed at my MIL for giving 9 month DD a saltine while she babysat the other day can you tell?)
post #17 of 65
4/22/04 at 1:23pm
I would be so upset. UNLESS she is just flighty. Then I would be extremely bugged. Perhaps your dh should deal with this. She needs to know that you NEED these back asap. I would call, say "sorry to bother you on your trip, but who has a key to your house and can let us in to get these? We can't go without them."
post #18 of 65
4/22/04 at 1:28pm

Yup

it is time you talk to your MIL and tell her that paper is a big giant no no in your family. Before my MIL passed on from this life she was a supporter of cloth. She was always trying to get her daughter to use cloth but of SIL refused. Too much work, bad smell, you know all the dumb excuses. MIL was crunchie and so is my mom. I did not have to worry about them. My SIL's are the ones who think I am crackers.
post #19 of 65
4/22/04 at 1:35pm
Quote:
Originally posted by yitlan
I would call, say "sorry to bother you on your trip, but who has a key to your house and can let us in to get these? We can't go without them."
That is a great idea.

Listen Ladies we Daughters-in-Law need to unite against the wicked Mothers-in-Law of the world. We need to take a stand! Are you with me?
post #20 of 65
4/22/04 at 1:43pm
I am so lucky. My MIL either supports us or keeps her mouth shut. She may, occasionally, voice a concern, but it's always within the "it's your life and your decision" limits. I think the homebirth was received with a slightly raised eyebrow, but they accepted it and didn't make it an issue. Cloth was never an issue. Not having a crib was probably what raised the most concern, but even that was OK to deal with.
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Natural Family Living › Diapering › Cloth and my MIL (Update)