or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Diapering › Cloth and my MIL (Update)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Cloth and my MIL (Update) - Page 3

post #41 of 65
I, too, would send a bill. I would even have your dh write the letter and have it all be from him!
post #42 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by cat_astrophe
The thing is, we are on a very tight budget, and we were only able to justify the investment because of the hand-me-down factor since we have a baby in diapers as well.

I'm drafting an email to her with a bill right now. I'll let you all know how it goes. I plan to be polite and just send an itemized bill at first, then see how she responds.

Give her the bill, and don't tell her you're cutting off the overnight visits until after she pays up. Otherwise, it sounds like she might try to use the money as a bribe to get the privs back. And frankly, it isn't punishment, it's fact. She's proven to you that she cannot be trusted to respect your parenting decisions, so she can't be trusted to care for your child.
post #43 of 65
I am so sorry your MIL is like that. Seems like she is into power plays or something I mean, she could have thrown away your DS's clothes and bought him a new wardrobe, but she did this with cloth trainers which she apparently doesn't approve of I hope she reimburses you appropriately so you won't be as angry anymore!
post #44 of 65
Yeah, I agree. I think she is being passive aggressive. She needs to respect ALL of your parenting choices.

I know I would never be able to let this go, it would drive me mad with fury.
post #45 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by yitlan
I am so lucky. My MIL either supports us or keeps her mouth shut. She may, occasionally, voice a concern, but it's always within the "it's your life and your decision" limits. I think the homebirth was received with a slightly raised eyebrow, but they accepted it and didn't make it an issue. Cloth was never an issue. Not having a crib was probably what raised the most concern, but even that was OK to deal with.
Our DHs must be brothers LOL! The only thing my MIL ever disagreed strongly with me about was food. She wanted me to start DS on food at 3 months and I told her no not until minimum six months. She started to *politely* argue and I just said look I know you did things differently with Jeff and yes he is incredibly healthy so obviously you did just fine but they recommend different things nowadays and I am going to go with the research on this one...she never asked again.

Steph
post #46 of 65
Oh no cat! I agree with other poster's she is being passive agressive. I would send the bill, then cut out the visits. It really sucks that she not only tossed the trainers but then un-potty learned him on top of it!! I would have been at her.
post #47 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by tuffykenwell
Our DHs must be brothers LOL!
Hello, SIL! The only thing my MIL ever really kept on about was giving the babies water in the summer. Finally I told her that they USED to do that, but now they feel bf babies should be fine without any. Now, my MIL's mom is another story. Boy, she just KNOWS what's right. Fortunately, she doesn't feel comfortable enough to budge in TOO much with me! She says things to MIL, though...
post #48 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by cat_astrophe
I'm drafting an email to her with a bill right now. I'll let you all know how it goes. I plan to be polite and just send an itemized bill at first, then see how she responds.
Good luck getting an appropriate response from your MIL. My psychotic MIL doesn't even respond to my e-mails, but she sends me pictures of cats doing all sorts of funny things. I guess it's easy to look at cute pictures than to face reality.

Please keep us posted! I hope you get your $$ back, which you are entitled to whether you are broke or not! Good luck~!
post #49 of 65
I was going to respond with the obvious. WHY are you sending your child for overnight visits there? Uh-uh. No WAY would that fly here.
post #50 of 65
I can relate, really I can. My mom is sort of the same way. I haven't had her ruin my cloth for me, but I can't tell you how many outfits she's ruined for me by bleaching them. I've even found clothes my kids can still wear stashed away in her drawers because she wants to "save" them for my sisters kid! Um, hello?? My child is still using those!! Sad things is, I'm not nice about it. She just shrugs it off like it's no bid deal.

I'm sorry you have to deal with a person like this. It's so infuriating!
post #51 of 65
Thread Starter 
Well, she hasn't responded to me, but she emailed my husband asking him to meet her for lunch and calling him a good father, which is exactly what she said to him the last time that she attacked me. We cut off contact for a really long time after that, and my dh would have been happy to never reinstate her grandmother's priveledges, but I am a forgiving soul. If she tries it again, it's over.

It's funny, everyone on dh's dad's side of the family (his parents are divorced) thinks his brother's wife is evil because she did not have his mom seated with the mothers at their wedding. I can totally understand that now.

:
post #52 of 65
Uh oh. It sounds like trouble brewing. Hopefully it won't go bad, but if she's continually doing things like this, you don't need that hassel :
post #53 of 65
OMG! I can't believe the frickin' audacity of that woman! I hope you hear from her soon, and that she has the decenty to be civil to you and gives you what she owes! And I agree you should tack on an extra 20% or so for the sheer inconvenience of it all!
What a witch!
post #54 of 65
I think you should just go to the lunch, too. Don't tell her. Just show up. That way, if she wants to slam you, she can do it to your face.

So sorry you have to go through this.....family issues can be so stressful.
post #55 of 65
ahhhhh, creepy! Good luck to your dh...and I like the idea of you showing up at lunch too, hehehe!
post #56 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by yitlan
I am so lucky. My MIL either supports us or keeps her mouth shut. She may, occasionally, voice a concern, but it's always within the "it's your life and your decision" limits. I think the homebirth was received with a slightly raised eyebrow, but they accepted it and didn't make it an issue. Cloth was never an issue. Not having a crib was probably what raised the most concern, but even that was OK to deal with.
Mine too~~~she is so great about trying hard to so things the way we do. Sometimes she has a lapse & lets the kids watch Cartoon Network & eat Skippy, :LOL, but she is super about keeping her mouth shut
post #57 of 65
you're a way bigger person than me because I would have given her a good boot in the hole. I like the idea regarding the depends . That would fix that conniving . Hope you get your money... increase the total by 20% and add interest daily... it's only FAIR. MUhahahahhahahaa!

:

Olivia
post #58 of 65
I would also charge her for allt he pullups/diapers you had to buy while she was out of town.
post #59 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by cat_astrophe
We may just have to cut out overnight visits until he is potty trained completely.
This is what I would have done the first time my child visited and returned without a diaper/underwear. In fact, I doubt I would allow her ever to watch my child for more than a few hours. The way you describe her she has no business watching your precious child. I would also, in this case, do what another poster suggested and save your receipts for the sposies and be sure to get reimbursed by her.
post #60 of 65
I am so sorry to hear what you're going through. I totally understand what it's like to have to deal with a MIL who constantly tries to undermine your parenting efforts because they're different from hers (yeah, 40 years ago!) or who makes snarky comments etc.

Mine was digging around for all our old sposies and then buying more until I hid them all and told her the gel stuff was unhealthy for DS. But she still hates the cloth - strange isn't it. I guess maybe she can't understand why I would not have the convenience of sposies that she in her time could not.

I have to live with the in-laws and admittedly, apart from these irksome issues she has been a real help with DS because we both work, so could not do without her. So I just put up with the weird stuff, try to short-circuit whatever I can catch, and try not to worry overly much about what I can't catch - otherwise it would drive me bananas.

Apart from that, I usually ignore the cloth-diaper related comments or just smile in response.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Diapering
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Diapering › Cloth and my MIL (Update)