NB Sleeping Situation

[maydaymom10]

So DH is having some issues with our current sleeping situation with our two-week old DD. She has been in bed with us since birth, but like when DS was a newborn, DH is really uncomfortable with that. He doesn't sleep well because he's afraid of rolling over on the baby. Also, he's been super sensitive to her noises and is just not getting much sleep (who is at this point though, right?). We have an Arm's Reach next to the bed, but DD won't sleep in it - I think it's just too much space for her. We know that she'll be room sharing with us for at least 4-6 months, and DH is OK with that. I'm just looking for a solution that will help DH feel more comfortable and also a situation where DD will also sleep. Since she's in bed with us, she tends to want to be on the breast all night, which is another issue. We're trying to postpone offering a pacifier if possible, but I'm also wondering if that might help her sleep better in a location other than our bed. I hope this is all making sense.

We also have a Rock n Play that she sleeps in during the day downstairs. I've thought about bringing that up & trying it. Or maybe a Snuggle Nest or moses basket in the AR to make is a little more snug. Had anyone tried any of these, or have other suggestions? 

My main fear is that DH will move back into the guest room again in his desperation to get a few hours of continuous sleep. He was in there for most of the pregnancy (because of my sleep issues) and I'd really like to have my husband back now. Any advice is welcome. Thanks!!

ps - x-posted this in my DDC.

[fruitfulmomma]

Is she sleeping between you? I've always had my babies on the outside so dh isn't next to them. (He doesn't mind having them in the middle, but I feel really uncomfortable with that until they are older.)

[Katherine73]

When DS was tiny I usually kept him on my side of the bed with my body between him and DH. You can put up a mesh rail on your side just to keep things extra safe. I've also seen those little mini beds that Babys R Us sells that you can put them in but they have some structure and protection when between 2 adults. 

[LilyTiger]

Your situation sounds exactly like ours.  I put up a rail on the one side of our bed and my daughter slept in between the rail and me (usually smashed into my armpit).  She would comfort nurse all night long if I let her, so I started sleeping on my back with her tucked between my arm and my torso but away from my breast.  Over time we started gradually getting her to sleep in the bassinet (in your case, the Arm's Reach).  By three months she was falling asleep in there (though I still had to nurse her down for naps) and by four months she was sleeping throughout the night there (I'd pull her out for night wakings and then put her back in again when I was done).  Finally, around 5 months we started transitioning her to the crib for naps and now at six months she sleeps through the night in her crib. 

Keep in mind that things change quickly.  We basically had an entirely different sleeping arrangement for every month of her life so far.  The first month she slept tummy to tummy with me (which is something else to try).  They get a lot more independent (in my limited experience) around 8 weeks.  At that point you can start experimenting more with the co-sleeper.  I don't think it's at all unusual for a baby that small to not want to sleep alone. Finally, try swaddling.  It was a lifesaver for us and she loved being swaddled until she was around 4 months.

[Quinalla]

Yeah, I would move the baby between you and the arm's reach if you haven't already. That should help your DH get more sleep since he won't have to worry about rolling onto the baby. Making the arm's reach cozier isn't a bad idea either! If he really needs to catch up, I think a night or two in the guest room isn't a bad idea though, you gotta do what you gotta do in those early weeks.

[MihrDanae]

Our daughter has slept with us from birth, but with winter bedding I didn't feel totally safe. So i bought one of those snuggle nests at babies r us.
I really love it and she seems pretty comfortable in it (would still perfer to be smooshed against me). It keeps her raised above our pillows and a distinct presence in the bed.
I plan on moving her into the arms reach when it's warmer weather / 3 months old. I recommend it for bed sharing with a tiny one (dd is 6 weeks).

[Jaxy]

DH is a light sleeper and since I was doing all the night care (and still do), we both prefer him to sleep on the couch in the living room for the 1rst month-month and a half (he would go to bed an hour or two when we would get up in the morning, then relieve me for a shower and breakfast) . I'm a first time mom so it gave me the opportunity to learn and enjoy my nights with my baby. At some point I was missing DH's presence and that's when he started sleeping with us. I would BF baby from the breast that would face dh before going to bed, so baby would spend more time on my side of the bed (being asleep first, then drinking, asleep, then changing side (putting him in the middle). DS is 6 months and athough dh is a VERY LIGHT sleeper - as I said - we're having pretty good nights!

Good luck with that!

[deailedlace]

Same story for my family of three. My daughter sleeps with m and bc my husband is a light sleeper and gets up early for work he is sleeping in the guestroom until we buy an arms reach cosleeper and hopefulluly transition her in there. Whatever gets us the most sleep essentially. Late at night whens she really asleep I urn the monitor on and sneak acoss the hall into bed with my hubby for some snuggle time

[MichelleZB]

At two weeks, your newborn is probably still nursing through the night because she is legit hungry. You can phase out the night feeds as they get older (I hear) but don't do it now.

Perhaps your DH can sit tight and sleep in the guest room for just a few more weeks until the newborn stage is over? Also, perhaps he can have an afternoon snuggle-time with you sometime on the weekend or something while the baby naps so you guys can re-connect?

[colsxjack]

I am a light sleeper and also worry about baby in bed with me. Not rolling on him, but pulling my covers up over him.

With our first it was easier, as we had the co-sleeper and our DD could sleep between my wife and the co-sleeper. But now we have twins, so they start off in the side car crib, but end up in the bed. One between crib and Mama, the other between me and Mama. I hate it. But I am getting used to it.

For the noise, I wear ear plugs. My wife knows that if she needs me for a fussy baby or a diaper change she can poke me awake. But usually she doesn't need me through the night as it is more one at a time nursing sessions and I can't do anything about that!

My biggest worry now is that sometimes an earplug falls out and now I worry that the baby will get a hold of it and get it into his mouth and choke. They are almost 4 months old now and that is becoming a real threat. But I can sleep without earplugs as I get no sleep with the noise of two grunty, snorty, slurpy, wiggly babies.

I think eventually my wife and babies will have the main bed to themselves and I will be on a mattress on the floor or a different bed in the same room.

[deailedlace]

Oh I just thoght of a good idea for you earplugs fear...you could buy those construction ones that are on a string! Also ive read dfferent thread s about the covers too. You could try a sleepng bag or put a heavy shirt on and just put the blankets just up to your waist maybe

[RoseVT]

We also had a hard time getting our son to sleep in the Arms Reach.  He LOVED sleeping in the Rock & Play at night when he was really tiny (until Dad read 'babies need to sleep on a flat, hard surface' too many times, and decided that we might as well be putting our child to bed in the shark tank).  I think he liked the way the sides cradled him while he slept. If he couldn't be in that he wanted to be in our bed, which was also neither flat nor hard, so the Arm's Reach was where he was going to sleep, whether he liked it or not.  I ended up putting a pillowcase that had beed in our bed in the co-sleeper so that it smelled familiar, and he went for it the first nigh with the pillow case.  He's 2 months now and only ends up in our bed when he wakes up at 4am ready to party, in which case I think he'd let us know if he was being squished.

[Zirconia]

My daughter wouldn't sleep in the Arm's Reach until she was a month old and her spine straigtened out. She hated to be flat on her back, which makes sense after being curled up for 40 weeks! Until then, she slept cradled in a swing that I pulled right beside the sofa about a foot from my face or she slept in my arms. I seem to remember celebrating sleeping in my own bed again, with her in the cosleeper, around week 5.

[maydaymom10]

DD just turned 5 weeks, and so I'm hoping to start transitioning her into the AR. I bought a wool blanket & a softer bedsheet, so I'm hoping that will help her feel a little bit more comfortable in it. I like the pillowcase idea too. Hopefully we can make the switch and DH can move back in. She's pretty attached to sleeping beside me now, so I think it's going to take awhile to get her transitioned over.  We also have a Rock n Play, which she loves to sleep in during the day, but we haven't had success at night with it either. Wish me luck!